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    Monday, October 15, 2007, 1:07 AM [General]

    I had a dream last night that has stayed with me all day. My grandaddy died in January and since then every once in a while I will dream about him. The dreams aren't the same they are always different but I always wake up knowing they were about him. I was the first grandbaby and lived in the same town as both sets of grandparents for the first two years of my life and when I went to college I went to school in the same town as my grandparents so I was extremely close to him as well as my grandmothers. I had suffered death before when my great-grandmothers died but it didn't effect me the same as this. This death was a much stronger death. By that I mean it meant more and effected me deeper. I loved my grandaddy with all my heart. He was my first love and the one person I knew would always love me unconditionally. He was like a father to me and I loved him like I love my dad. There is nothing to replace the hurt that you feel when you lose someone you loved so much. I will always have a huge hole in my heart and life where he should be. Every special event will be one more time where he should be and is not.

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