A month ago:

It is my friend Lynn’s birthday!

I drop by at the re-store, where she works, to give her a hug and a little birthday present.

 “She is not here” her boss tells me. “She had to go to the clinic, for some tests and will not be coming back today”

’ “Oh, ok,” I say. “I will stop by in a few days then...”

A few days later Lynn is there, behind the desk as always!

“Happy belated birthday!” I say, holding up her present.

“Oh, Hi Mi-Shell!“ We reach across the sales desk to hug.

 The instant I feel her in my embrace my joy dies. All I can feel, all I can see is Blue, hard, steely Blue.

It fills my soul with cold shock! Blue is the colour I see in others, when........

 “Oh NO! PLEASE!”

 Blue is the colour I “see“, when someone has cancer......

 “How are you ?“ I manage to ask her, my voice shaking.

“I am ok,” she answers, but her eyes tell a different truths, her mouth is not smiling anymore either.

 I do take both her hands into mine. “Tell me! What is it?, You know, you can....” Her eyes fill with tears. “My mammogram turned out bad and the ultrasound too.... It is still too early to tell, but the doctor said I better steel myself for a bad diagnosis. It is still small, but looks spidery and feels hard I will have a biopsy done tomorrow.....”

 We hug again. She feels is just as blue as the first time. Her tears lace my shoulder.

 “I was not going to tell anyone, not until I get the results of the biopsy back...Please do not tell my kids or my sister, they will freak out, because we lost our mom and 2 aunts to it.....”

“Of course not” I promise. “But until then, you can talk to me, day and night, whenever you need to.....”

More hugs.

 “Now open your present.”

 She does. It is a Wolf Necklace and matching earrings.

 Maheengun the Wolf is the Spirit of endurance and survival skills.

She will need both.... ...................................................................................................................

I pray

for the day

 that the Blue

 is gone away!

.........................................

 I still pray......

Her mastectomy date is on the 15th....

I will keep cradling her late night fears....

I will keep praying.....