I have been reading "Fearless" as of late and I am praying about my fears...and how I am dealing with them and how God wants me to feel about things...

This has been an enourmously emotional journey for me...I have been seeing that there are things that I am SO afraid of....things that are just so...insane that I am afraid of....

But this week-end something came to a head...I was unable to walk yesterday morning.  This is a result of the back problems I have had and the neurological issues I am having but I was SCARED TO DEATH! Holy cow.....I still am. I am able to walk and get around but I am scared that I am going to wake up soon and not be able to move....

Help!!  How do I let go of these fears?  I know when facing the medical crisises that I have had in my life I was able to let things go and have faith that God will take care of my needs/issues...but does any one have any suggestions as to how to do that wth my fears??  I don't want to live like this!!!

Do you think you can like secular things and still be a a devote Christian? 

I recently heard an episode of Joyce Meyer talking about how I have been made perfect in the eyes of God and that he loves me no matter what I look like - icky thighs and all.  And that I have been made in the image of God....I know that but I guess to hear someone besides my mother tell me that God thinks I'm beautiful even if I don't....that really had an impact on me recently.  So much so, that when I find myself being VERY critical of myself (which I do on occassion ~ like daily) I have begun saying to myself that I am created in the image of God and he finds me and my thighs beautiful.  I am perfect in His eyes.

OK...so here is the humor today....I opened my email and I get quotes of the day sent to me - sometimes spiritual, sometimes serious, sometimes funny....WELL....

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
  - Miss Piggy

It struck me as funny....I've been working so hard on changing my self-talk about this and even Miss Piggy has good self-talk about her beauty.   I need to borrow some of her self-confidence!!

I woke up happy and hopeful this morning....my dd comes home today!!   I can't wait to see her!! :0)

I hope all have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

I was reminded again tonight of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me....I had an early meeting with my bible/book study group tonight.  I am so at ease with this wonderful group of women...there are married women, single mothers, widows, divorced women....it is such a great group of women in different seasons of their lives.  Just breathing the same air as those wonderful women breathed a joyful lift into my evening.  THANK YOU LORD for those ladies!!! 

I have been feeling like I am fighting off a depressive episode lately.  I hate this feeling.  I hate feeling do down like this with no energy, not wanting to do anything...not wanting to talk to anyone....sigh.

I am feeling a bit down today...I am not sure why....my little one is gone, my vacation is over....sigh.  I am going to try and get moving and clean and see if moving around helps me kick this blue feeling.....