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    Mothers day and other May holidays

    Friday, May 9, 2008, 12:42 PM [General]

    Mothers day is bittersweet. My own mother passed from this world on May 26, 2003. So for some reason this year Mother's day is bothering me. Previous years it did not but this year it is. I miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss spending time with her. I miss her opinion on matters in my life. I miss her. I was thinking of buying some nice flowers and taking them out to her grave.

    The other May Holiday that is bothering me is Memorial day. In 2003, May 26 was Memorial day. So mom died on Memorial day. So this year Memorial days is on the exact same day and everything. Kind of bothering me. But on a selfish note I do look forward to being off that day and my oldest brother is coming in town to. We plan on going to our mother's grave together. 


    Well here is to all the Mothers, living or passed on.Laughing   

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    Sunday, April 6, 2008, 8:38 AM [General]

    I am on SPRING BREAK I am so happy. I am off for a whole week. I can remain in my PJ's all day if I so choose. I think I will. I also have 2 job possibilities. That makes me happy. I hope one of them comes through for me. Both positions are with the same company and would have me working with disabled individuals. I would love that. I have at admit though that I will miss being off from work off and on like I am with this job. With this job we follow the school calender. Which means, I am off for thanksgiving, 2 weeks at Christmas, spring break and all summer. BUT I don't get paid for summer. I do for the rest. Down side to this job is that I don't get paid enough. I barely make it from pay doy to pay day and if I am sick for a long extended time I don't get paid for when I am off. So due to the low pay and so forth, I am forced to find other employment. I hope I do before summer, I'll not make it during the summer without another job.

    BUT right now, I am off on SPRING BREAK.  Spaz 


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    Sick of Being Sick

    Sunday, March 23, 2008, 8:58 AM [General]

    I think the title of this journal says it all. I ran a temp thursday, March 20, 2008. I woke up with Friday, March 21, with no temp but with Bacterial pink eye. On Saturday, March 22, I was coughing my lungs up and green-yellowish mucus up to. Now I am miserable and at home. No Easter Sunrise service like I always go to. No nice dinner, I normally cook. I have a doctors excuse for monday and tuesday. I have called and left a message on the machine telling them I am sick and will not be in. I mentioned I have a respiratory infection and a doctors excuse. I bet they call me and harrass me. But at this point I don't think I have a choice. I am way to sick to go to work at least on Monday. I cannot talk that much either. 

    OH Well, My pink eye is much better. 


    HAPPY EASTER Bunny  


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    February 24, 2008

    Sunday, February 24, 2008, 10:09 AM [General]

    well, the Daytona 500 has come and gone. I love that race. I am happy Nascar is back on TV. I have missed seeing it. It signals Spring is right around the corner.

    Work has been OK, The nagging of the supervisors continue but I have found away to prevent them from doing me that way when I am off from work. I just unplug and turn off my answering machine. So when they call I look at my Caller ID and if it's them I just don't answer and let it ring. I refuse to allow them to invade my time off when I am not at work anymore. I don't live and breath work. I never have and never will. I work to pay bills, Period. 

    I am now back in church. I am going to another church now. I am going to a local church. The other church I was going to was ONLY preaching about families and children. Very, VERY, VERY obsesssed with FAMILIES!!! I don't have a family. So I felt out of placed and a lot of times walked out of  church upset due to that fact. So I left that church. Why go to a church that is not meeting my needs. This new church is local and they seem very nice. 

    The other day while on my lunch break at work I had some time and went to Walmart to look around. It was still lunch and all so I had no problem with that. The problem came when I ran into one of my mom's old co-workers. She said HI to me and all and said she ran into my dad. Then she said, "are you married yet?" OK< what a strange thing to say to someone you barely know. A Walmart employee was near by and actually laughed. I tried not to let it bother me but it did. Cause I actually would love to get married. I want to get married and have a family of my own more than anything. Then here is this lady who says, "are you married yet?" OH MY GOSH. Talking about being rude. I find that actually very rude. I don't even know the womans name and she is saying that to me. 

    Well, got to go and get ready for church.            

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    January 27, 2008

    Sunday, January 27, 2008, 8:58 AM [General]

    I watched a sermon on TV that asked, "can you say you give a 110% to work?" the answer is NO, I don't feel that. I don't like my job , I feel beaten down and I am just working to pay bills. It sort of hit home and makes me feel I need to change fields all together. Maybe I need to find a job /career where I feel happy and proud at what I do. At the moment, I feel worthless, beaten down and a failure. I feel I wasted all those years in undergraduate college and graduate school. I feel like obtaining my BA Degree and MA degree was a waste. I am not presently using those degrees. I am treated at work as if I don't even have them. Even though they know I do. I feel like a failure. I want to work at a job that has me being happy and proud again. LIke I used to feel like at work. But now I am dreading going into work. I am actually dreading even seeing my coworkers. One is bossy and I'd even call her a bully. I dread it. I want to cry just thinking about it. 

    I have been applying to other companies. No luck yet. I want another job. I want to get paid more so maybe I am not struggling so much. So maybe I can go back to school. I want to teach. I want to become a teacher. I think that would be a job I could do and still be happy like I used to be on the job in  my career. I want that back.          

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