The Love Guru's blog listings. Feed Zend_Feed_Writer 1.10.8 (http://framework.zend.com) http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru Twelve is Swell-ve!

Guru-dites. That kind of looks like crudités. Though my devoted Guru-dites are very different from your standard crudités. Not that I really know what that is really… what is it like munchies for fancy people? I don't know. It doesn't sound that delicious. Crud-i-tay. Do any of you have crudités experience? Are they like little happy apeteasers? Because if so, how delightful! There is nothing like a little nibble to get your appetite revved and ready! I know that a little nibble always does it for me! Oh too much information?

This is my 12th blog people! Is that a bit too much also? DIDN'T THINK SO! You guys just eat these little blogs up don't you? Like they were crudités! But think about it. What are these blogs? They are little bites of delicious that set you up for a brighter day. They get you revved and ready to attack! In the most graceful and harmless way of course. And not really people, more like the day or your homework. Don't you just want to go climb trees and make lemonade after you read my blogs?

I hope that this blog has also revved your engine and now you will scamper off and do something UBER productive like knit your g-mom a sweater or run some laps around your block or donate all of your clothes to the color blind kid from school who always looks so bland.

Mariska Hargitay.

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Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:37:53 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/06/20/twelve_is_swellve http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/06/20/twelve_is_swellve

Guru-dites. That kind of looks like crudités. Though my devoted Guru-dites are very different from your standard crudités. Not that I really know what that is really… what is it like munchies for fancy people? I don't know. It doesn't sound that delicious. Crud-i-tay. Do any of you have crudités experience? Are they like little happy apeteasers? Because if so, how delightful! There is nothing like a little nibble to get your appetite revved and ready! I know that a little nibble always does it for me! Oh too much information?

This is my 12th blog people! Is that a bit too much also? DIDN'T THINK SO! You guys just eat these little blogs up don't you? Like they were crudités! But think about it. What are these blogs? They are little bites of delicious that set you up for a brighter day. They get you revved and ready to attack! In the most graceful and harmless way of course. And not really people, more like the day or your homework. Don't you just want to go climb trees and make lemonade after you read my blogs?

I hope that this blog has also revved your engine and now you will scamper off and do something UBER productive like knit your g-mom a sweater or run some laps around your block or donate all of your clothes to the color blind kid from school who always looks so bland.

Mariska Hargitay.

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Eleven is Heaven!
It is I, the Love Guru, bloggin' in for my eleventh entry. In the spirit of complete and pure honesty, I cannot believe that we are now into double digits! It boggles the mind and tingles the loins. (not as boggling as when our pet dog "Double Digits" used his bifurcated paw to scratch his hoo ha and bury a bone at the same time... but damn close) I'm so excited to still have this connection with all of you, my friends and fans. Connections are important. Your phone line to the world is a connection. Your power lines for your house are a connection. You must also be sure that your connections to the people in your life are solid and reliable. Think about your connections today: to your family to your friends and to your pets. Think about how to make these connections stronger. Catching someone in the act of doing something embarrassing or illegal is usually the best way to leverage these connection in your favour. And if your connections are not as strong as you would like them to be, perhaps this simple Sutra will help.

HELLO

It stands for

Holding
Everything
Loved
Longer is
Okay

This means that all the things you hold dear, or view as important should be held closely and valued, and will make everything okay. There are exceptions, like the apple guy at the farmers market who would like to get to know me more intimately, but that would result in me popping the business end of my sandal in his snot locker. And then the cops would come and it would be a whole thing. But I would be making a re-connection with my anger management counselor, so I guess my previous wisdom still applies.

Yank my doodle, what a dandy!

Mariska Hargitay371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
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Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:37:25 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/06/20/eleven_is_heaven http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/06/20/eleven_is_heaven
It is I, the Love Guru, bloggin' in for my eleventh entry. In the spirit of complete and pure honesty, I cannot believe that we are now into double digits! It boggles the mind and tingles the loins. (not as boggling as when our pet dog "Double Digits" used his bifurcated paw to scratch his hoo ha and bury a bone at the same time... but damn close) I'm so excited to still have this connection with all of you, my friends and fans. Connections are important. Your phone line to the world is a connection. Your power lines for your house are a connection. You must also be sure that your connections to the people in your life are solid and reliable. Think about your connections today: to your family to your friends and to your pets. Think about how to make these connections stronger. Catching someone in the act of doing something embarrassing or illegal is usually the best way to leverage these connection in your favour. And if your connections are not as strong as you would like them to be, perhaps this simple Sutra will help.

HELLO

It stands for

Holding
Everything
Loved
Longer is
Okay

This means that all the things you hold dear, or view as important should be held closely and valued, and will make everything okay. There are exceptions, like the apple guy at the farmers market who would like to get to know me more intimately, but that would result in me popping the business end of my sandal in his snot locker. And then the cops would come and it would be a whole thing. But I would be making a re-connection with my anger management counselor, so I guess my previous wisdom still applies.

Yank my doodle, what a dandy!

Mariska Hargitay371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
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Perfect 10! I can't believe I made it to 10 whole blogs! What a crazy high number. I mean, it's not as high as 11, and definitely not as high as 98. But I think it's still pretty good. I think there are blogs that don't even make it to 10 blog entries! Like that guy from Michigan who started a blog about his antique book collection. Apparently he died of BOREDOM. Literally. I'm not kidding. Boredom. Luckily my blogs have been so shiny and glittery that they are doing the opposite of killing me. They are making me more alive. Honestly, I haven't slept since I started these things. That could be due to the fact that it is ostrich mating season (again). Either way, I am more alive than ever!

I think it is important to do things to make you feel tingly and alive! Otherwise, what is the point of this glorious journey called life? I like to do things like take long relaxing walks through the grounds of my ashram, nothing gets me feeling tingly (to the point of numbness on occasion) than long walks. I also used to enjoy gorging on beets but turns out that just made my you know what all tingly. That was unpleasant. So be cautious in your meetings with beets, they are a tricky vegetable that should be respected.

In honor of my 10th blog here is a list of things that are Perfect 10s in my opinion:

1. My blog, perfect 10! Especially today!
2. Bo Derek (duh)
3. Kittens
4. Pandas and Zebras: so out of place in nature, yet so awesome
5. Orange juice without pulp
6. Yoda
7. Pickles dipped in peanut butter. Yum!
8. Cotton Candy: spun sugar? Anyone?
9. Daffodils
10. Cough drops.  You can't get more perfect than that.

Mariska Hargitay

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Tue, 27 May 2008 18:13:30 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/27/perfect_10 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/27/perfect_10 I can't believe I made it to 10 whole blogs! What a crazy high number. I mean, it's not as high as 11, and definitely not as high as 98. But I think it's still pretty good. I think there are blogs that don't even make it to 10 blog entries! Like that guy from Michigan who started a blog about his antique book collection. Apparently he died of BOREDOM. Literally. I'm not kidding. Boredom. Luckily my blogs have been so shiny and glittery that they are doing the opposite of killing me. They are making me more alive. Honestly, I haven't slept since I started these things. That could be due to the fact that it is ostrich mating season (again). Either way, I am more alive than ever!

I think it is important to do things to make you feel tingly and alive! Otherwise, what is the point of this glorious journey called life? I like to do things like take long relaxing walks through the grounds of my ashram, nothing gets me feeling tingly (to the point of numbness on occasion) than long walks. I also used to enjoy gorging on beets but turns out that just made my you know what all tingly. That was unpleasant. So be cautious in your meetings with beets, they are a tricky vegetable that should be respected.

In honor of my 10th blog here is a list of things that are Perfect 10s in my opinion:

1. My blog, perfect 10! Especially today!
2. Bo Derek (duh)
3. Kittens
4. Pandas and Zebras: so out of place in nature, yet so awesome
5. Orange juice without pulp
6. Yoda
7. Pickles dipped in peanut butter. Yum!
8. Cotton Candy: spun sugar? Anyone?
9. Daffodils
10. Cough drops.  You can't get more perfect than that.

Mariska Hargitay

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It’s blog #9! Hello bloglodytes! Holy hookahs, I can't believe we're on blog nine. Seems like just eight blogs ago we were on the first one. It's been a hell of a ride for you, me, my inner Guru and that guy who bags my groceries at the Stop n' Shop. It was sadly an actual ride for him on the hood of my car when I drove out of the market parking lot in a Pepperidge Farm Milano frenzy. But at the hospital, I was sure I heard him moan that he loves my blogs. Or needed a blue log. Oh, morphine!

I so enjoy the grocery store. It's one of the places that I feel at peace. Everything is organized and I love to hang out in the produce section. Rows of fresh, yummy goodness from Mother Earth, and the lettuce sprinklers are a fast and free shower. Until the security guard makes you mop up. Take a chiller, Barney Miller. Ever hear of recycling?

A lot of people ask me what is in my diet, so here you go. I usually like to stock up on Guru goodies like dried fruit, essence of jojoba, and organic wheat grass. That stuff is like liquid green dynamite, but my beard has never looked better! And no dairy. I have nothing against it, espescially cheese, but it's almost swim suit season, and that stuff goes straight from my lips to my hips. If I'm going to look fat, it will be on the aforementioned Milano cookies.

Speaking of which, I'm down to my last six bags. Back to the store, but this time i think I'll listen take the bus. Speak soon. Slipping into cookie comaaaaaaaaa

 

Mariska Hargitay.

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Wed, 14 May 2008 15:18:46 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/14/its_blog_9 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/14/its_blog_9 Hello bloglodytes! Holy hookahs, I can't believe we're on blog nine. Seems like just eight blogs ago we were on the first one. It's been a hell of a ride for you, me, my inner Guru and that guy who bags my groceries at the Stop n' Shop. It was sadly an actual ride for him on the hood of my car when I drove out of the market parking lot in a Pepperidge Farm Milano frenzy. But at the hospital, I was sure I heard him moan that he loves my blogs. Or needed a blue log. Oh, morphine!

I so enjoy the grocery store. It's one of the places that I feel at peace. Everything is organized and I love to hang out in the produce section. Rows of fresh, yummy goodness from Mother Earth, and the lettuce sprinklers are a fast and free shower. Until the security guard makes you mop up. Take a chiller, Barney Miller. Ever hear of recycling?

A lot of people ask me what is in my diet, so here you go. I usually like to stock up on Guru goodies like dried fruit, essence of jojoba, and organic wheat grass. That stuff is like liquid green dynamite, but my beard has never looked better! And no dairy. I have nothing against it, espescially cheese, but it's almost swim suit season, and that stuff goes straight from my lips to my hips. If I'm going to look fat, it will be on the aforementioned Milano cookies.

Speaking of which, I'm down to my last six bags. Back to the store, but this time i think I'll listen take the bus. Speak soon. Slipping into cookie comaaaaaaaaa

 

Mariska Hargitay.

2 Comments - Leave a Comment
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8 Comes After 7! Hello blogumentarians!

Welcome to my 8th blog, or as our Mexican friends say, "los bloggisa de la ocho". I am flooded with such a wave of successful, happy, yum yum feelings, and am del-eighted you've joined me every step of the way on this Internet journey. But let me share a secret with you. Circus peanuts have no peanuts in them, and have never performed at an actual circus. Another even bigger secret is that sometimes even a Guru needs an "inner Guru" to give him confidence for things just like these blogs. My inner Guru's name is Phillipe, and he loves "Dancing With the Stars" and tag-backgammon.

He also sounds just like Dame Judi Dench, and seems to come from the school of tough love. For example, when I was struggling to write my first blog, I started doubting myself, and Phillipe said "Pitka! You are a GURU! Writing blogs is a simple activity that any idiot could do. For cripes sakes, there is a woman in Des Moines who writes 56 daily updates on her pug, Der Barkissar. Get your shiznit together, man!" And I did, and Judi stopped yelling, and we're all cool now, and I continued to write beautiful, enlightening blogs. So what am I trying to tell you? One, if you go the prom, stay on the dance floor and away from the bushes. And two, try following your inner guru every now and then. they may be of great assistance, and hopefully don't sound like a barking, cigarette-voiced octogenarian with a bad accent! We get it, honey! You're proper.

Mariska Hargitay
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Thu, 08 May 2008 13:25:36 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/08/8_comes_after_7 http://community.beliefnet.com/the_love_guru/blog/2008/05/08/8_comes_after_7 Hello blogumentarians!

Welcome to my 8th blog, or as our Mexican friends say, "los bloggisa de la ocho". I am flooded with such a wave of successful, happy, yum yum feelings, and am del-eighted you've joined me every step of the way on this Internet journey. But let me share a secret with you. Circus peanuts have no peanuts in them, and have never performed at an actual circus. Another even bigger secret is that sometimes even a Guru needs an "inner Guru" to give him confidence for things just like these blogs. My inner Guru's name is Phillipe, and he loves "Dancing With the Stars" and tag-backgammon.

He also sounds just like Dame Judi Dench, and seems to come from the school of tough love. For example, when I was struggling to write my first blog, I started doubting myself, and Phillipe said "Pitka! You are a GURU! Writing blogs is a simple activity that any idiot could do. For cripes sakes, there is a woman in Des Moines who writes 56 daily updates on her pug, Der Barkissar. Get your shiznit together, man!" And I did, and Judi stopped yelling, and we're all cool now, and I continued to write beautiful, enlightening blogs. So what am I trying to tell you? One, if you go the prom, stay on the dance floor and away from the bushes. And two, try following your inner guru every now and then. they may be of great assistance, and hopefully don't sound like a barking, cigarette-voiced octogenarian with a bad accent! We get it, honey! You're proper.

Mariska Hargitay
2 Comments - Leave a Comment
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