This is a difficult couple of weeks to say the least.
You keep looking for God in situations, you know He is there. And He is.
I am often reminded of the piece called Footprints about the two sets of prints walking in the sand then one disappears showing a single set of footprints. The man asks God, "You told me if I would follow you, you would never leave me. During the most difficult times of my life, where there are only one set of footprints, why did you leave me?" God (as only God can) looks at the man and tells him, "My precious, precious child....I never left you. Those are the times in your life...... when I....carried you."
I think about that and it makes me think I should lose some weight, so when God has to carry me, the load isnt so heavy. Then I think deeper, if I can rid more sin out of my life, it does lighten His load, until I am strong enough to stand beside Him, and again walk with Him. What I have to understand is HE gives me the strength to stand beside him and then to follow where He leads me.. It is nothing I can do, but should be everything I desire to do.
God tells me if I continue to walk with Him, I stay in His grace, I will be blessed. And I am! He has done for me all I need, but promises me more and more as He desires our relationship.
I continue to seek out God and seek out His blessings. I dont think that is wrong. But I do know, regardless of whether it is my God, or my wife, a friend, my dad, or my child, it tends to work the same. We give and receive blessings and for Christians, the model is by God's design.
You seldom give blessings to those you have no relationship with. You might donate monies to a charity and your blessing is received upon the act, never knowing the result. We leave that to God. Our human natures desire relationships. I see people striving to do what is right and I feel compelled to reach out and help or bless them.
The difference with blessing people that we have little relationshihp with is some different. We give, never caring for its return. It is only by the Spirit in our lives that we give, and is returned by the Spirit in their lives.
God's blessings for us are meant to be purely Spiritual. Even being blessed with finances, a home, a car, a job, those belong to God and there is a spiritual component to them. Sometimes God wants some of our financial blessings because another of His children need them. Maybe some of His children need a place to stay or a ride somewhere. He gives us these things to show His love to others through us, never of us.
His Spiritual blessings sometimes are harder to see, or realize. Sending His son to show us the way, that we know, we remain faithful to Him, what He has promised, not having yet attained it, but looking forward to it.
"I AM that bridge over your troubled waters...trust me"