Christmas as a child was about going to on Christmas Eve where all of your family would be attending. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, and cousins would be there along with my parents, and brother and sisters. My father would make Oyster Stew and I would try it every year and tell him thank you but no thank you I do not care for it. He would then ask me if I wanted some cream of shrimp or Lobster soup which I love.
Then on Christmas morning we would open our family presents; have a wonderful breakfast that my father would make. Then we would all head to our grandparents for the big dinner and fun with Aunts, Uncles and cousins. That has all ended with the passing of grandparents and parents,but it has instilled the importance of church, friends and family.

Advent is defined as a time to prepare for the arrival of something awaited. It is one of my favorite times of year. For me it is a time of reflection; A time to give praise and thanksgiving. A time to look at how blessed we are. This year is no different. The kids are great. I am employed. My blessings are abundant. Yet I feel a sense of advent waiting.

While reflecting on this waiting and preparation of the Advent season, I've realized it just doesn’t prepare us for the ultimate; the waiting for death or the beginning of new life. As I write this, I’m sitting in a hospital room next to my Gram, waiting for her next stage of what I believe is everlasting life. It seemed so sad at first but while waiting it has become clear that this time I have with her to wait, prepare and reflect is truly a blessing.

My Gram is the one I tell all of my secrets too. She gives me non-biased advice. She gave me my name, which I love so much. We spent every weekend together when I was a child. She sang songs to me until her voice was hoarse. Gram taught me to draw (although I was never as good an artist as her) and she sent me care packages while I was away at college.

She watched my children until she couldn’t do it anymore. She had tea parties, played cards and did puzzles with my boys and read countless books to my daughter. She loved gingerbread men and The Price Is Right.

Gram loved dogs, cats, squirrels and birds, and could even find beauty in pigeons. She was a cappuccino connoisseur and could make the best fudge in town. She painted the most beautiful china and was generous beyond belief.

My gram goes by many names; Grammy, Great Gram, Mama, Ol’ Mam. For 44 years I’ve never lived without her. She is a blessing.

I realize that you don’t even know my gram, but what I do know is that everyone has a gram. It may be your mom, dad, aunt, neighbor or good friend. But you have a gram. She is love, she is kindness, she is strong and she has faith…She is a blessing.

While I wait and reflect on my blessings, I pray that my gram will spend this Christmas with no pain, no suffering and no regrets. I pray for each of you and your “grams”. I give thanks for the blessing of time I have to wait and prepare.

I remember past Christmas times with my mother, we would all go to the community Longhouse. This is where we would gather with all our relatives and give and receive presents and eat turkey and all the trimmings, Deer meat roasted and fish with dumplings, Roots w/fish, fried bread and all kinds of goodies. I remember eating so good there, we would all get full and bring some food home (as was the custom).
I didn't realize it at the time but we were poor and didn't get all the food to eat that we should as my mother was a single-parent and worked in the fields seasonal.*(later on she did get better jobs). In the winter, we were having a harder time with getting food; however we didn't starve. My mother didn't believe in getting on welfare, she believed in working for a living.
She taught us good values and she was such a hard worker and survivor. We had animals e.g. dogs. The cats would catch mice. she would tell us that we had to care for our animals and we would save the potato peelings and scraps of leftovers and put it in the pot on the stove to cook for the dogs. At the end of the day the dogs would all get fed; there wasn't money to buy dogfood or catfood and yet I didn't see any of them starve.
Yes, she taught me many values, e.g. respect and love for family, work, cooking, sewing, saving, discipline, perseverance and determination and prayer every day. She taught me the value of putting our Creator first in our life. She prayed and sang in her language every morning before the day started!
She may not have lavished us with hugs and kisses; however her teaching and example of life being lived showed us more and I have gained from her life and I finally understood what she was doing to help us live a far more exceeding and bountiful life than I expected.

Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year. When my children were little...I always made sure the decor was in touch with the season in my house. Santa Claus was there just for the kids pleasure...But I always reminded them of the true reason we celebrate Christmas. It is the gift that trumps all gifts ever imaginable.
Luke 2:10-11, And the Angel said unto them, "Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."
My Children were raised in the
church, and taught the Word of God, and so they knew the true meaning of why Christians celebrated the holidays, as opposed to pagans...with all due respect to pagans.
The year 2008 would prove to be a true test of trial and tribulation for me personally. My daughter had given birth to my first grandchild April 26,2007. He was born with a heart defect. But with corrective surgery...a total of three from newborn into his fourth year of age, and he would live a normal life with some medication, but could not over exert himself as with playing sports. I was willing to accept those conditions. When I saw him, I just melted. He was my heart.
On September 23, 2008, God called for him...and took him immediately while he was just walking around the house, he was whinning a bit and tapping on his chest, according to my daughter's memory of that morning.
She worked the swing shift at the hospital as a surgical tech. She noted that he was not having a good morning...but it never crossed her mind that anything grave could happen to her son. Chase caught a cold that would not go away.
Despite my warnings to her that I felt his condition was quite serious...she said I was over reacting.
She called me at work that morning, of Sept.23rd, the EMT's were there at her apartment, trying to revive him. But when they arrived, he ws already gone.
My daughter said, he had stopped screaming suddenly and went limp. His eyes were wide open... but he was still... not breathing. That's when she called 911, and attempted cpr. When the EMT's arrived, that's when she called me. I listened through the phone as the EMT's tried to bring him back...to no avail. Chase had suffered a cardiac arrest.
The phone went dead. I imagine my daughter just lost it at that moment. I dropped the phone...my supervisor and some co-workers knew what was going on...and when they saw my reaction...their mouths were wide open...All I could say was..."I think my grandson just died." The cold that would not go away...had turned to pnuemonia... that cause complications that proved to be fatal for him. My daughter just didn't see it coming.
My co-workers had no words for me...After a few seconds...I grabbed my purse, and ran out to my car.
My heart had just been ripped out. I drove all the way home, from Long Beach Ca, to, Riverside Ca. About 60 miles. I cried all the way home.
I was on Anti-depressants, and Ambien CR at the time of my grandson, Chases' death. Because just 11 month's prior to this...I lost my brother, then two months, later my dad, in 2007.I was having a hard time dealing with tragedy.
That day...I took nothing. No medication at all. I actually wanted to feel the hurt for my grandson. I realized after arriving home, that it was okay to feel the pain of losing Chase. I did not want to mask my feelings. My sisters and mother came 80 miles to be with me and my son on a week day to comfort us. My daughter and grandson were living in Houston Tx, 1500 miles away. I would drive there later to be with her and help make arrangements for burial...all without the help of Anti-depressants and sleeping pills. All of my sisters,6 of them, my sons, 3 of them, drove to Houston by caravan.
Christmas in the year 2008, was a memorable one...I've accepted the loss of my loved ones...and what could have turned out to be a lifetime of Anti-depressants and sleeping pills..because you can feel like you can't go on without them...My grandson's death, as tragic as it was for me, was also a healing and learning process for me, in that it's okay to feel the pain of losing someone you love. It's natural to grieve. I am thankful and blessed to have had the time as short as it was, with him as he has rendered to me his version of what love is.
Love is savoring the moments we have with family and learning life's lessons taught to us by going through our trials and tribulations with grace and dignity...My grandson had no idea what was happening to him, he was 16 mos old, with a personality of his own, had fear at his moment of death, which was then silenced and filtered with grace an dignity in his mother's arms he lay...and was escorted by an angel of God to is rightful place. No...he was not alone. And so I made a Christmas Card in his memory, and sent it to all my family members, with the caption of, Luke 2:11 printed on the inside of it, and his picture, and caption on the front read,"O Holy Night." The picture is posted on my profile...enjoy.
LAKERSTYLE...