I am a recovering drug addict and also have mental issues, I am diagnosed with major depression, PTSD, DID, anxiety disorder, sleep disorder, and I think that's it?? I also have fibromialgia, and Hepatitis C, and so I have cronic pain issues, I live with my mom, and have for about 4 yrs. after a really ugly divorce, I have grief issues also, I lost my father to a drunk driver, and my dad had 26 years of sobriety so alcohol still killed him? He was everything to me, and also, my main support system. I have a lot of trouble asking for help, and that is one of my main problems, I am very lonely, and find myself in unhealthy relationships, because of my low self esteem. I am reading how powerful thoughts are, and am trying to change my thoughts, to have a happier and more fulfilling life. I live in Arizona, and have found that they are number 50 in mental health care, and I am from Kansas, which I found out it number 1, so I am having a very difficult time getting any help. I also have trust issues because my first therapist fell in love with me, she was married with 3 children, and had no idea for a long time, that the things she did were inappropriate. I had a crack problem, which led me down a life I never dreamed of, I sold myself for drugs, and have a very hard time forgiving myself and have a lot of shame about that part of my life. I am trying so hard to get better, but it just takes time. I did at one time have almost 4 years of sobriety, and I did not loose that time but I think people put so much value on the quantity and not the quality, I have met some very sick people with a lot of sobriety? So life is definitely a journey, and some times I wonder what I asked to learn in this one? Most of my family want nothing to do with me, I see there side, but I also get really angry, because my recovery coach told me I need to set boundries with my family, she said if they don't want to be supportive when your not doing well, but want to be a part of your life when your not, it's not right of them, I didn't realize or even think I had the right to do that? I miss my family, my siblings, but they judge me, I was living with my uncle after my devoirce and he tryed to have sex with me almost everynight after coming home from the bar, and no one except my mom and aunts believe me because he tryed to have sex with their daughters too, and I think it is about to let my family know what happened and why I did what I did to get out of thier, because I couldn't stand it any more, so, if any of my family want to tell me to my face what they think of me, or e-mail me feel free, I love ya, love and light, Genelle