Last night I was up late just letting my thoughts wander. My daughter, 17, noticed that I was down. She knows a lot of what's happening in our lives and reads between the lines very well. She brought her bible into the living room, and unasked, began to read scriptures to me that brought her hope. What an enlightening thing that was to see and hear those words coming from her mouth, and yes, it helped, and I am proud to say that this young woman is my daughter. I need to make a note to myself to properly let her know how much that meant to me.
My husband and I had a long talk this morning while the house was quiet and we were alone. It helped, too. We will be fine. Going through extreme stresses is unimaginably difficult even to the strongest relationships. We have both failed to realize that none of what we are feeling right now is permanent. A lot of what we are acting out now is unreal as far as feelings go. It is a huge venting of emotion that has been built up over time. We've had a lot of stress. We're still in the middle of it. Because of that stress we've been living with since June of last year, we tend to overreact on an emotional level.
We have always been romantics, who see the world through heart shaped, rose colored glasses. When that world is threatened, we instinctively lash out at whatever did it, and in this case, it was each other, wrongly. Neither of us ever really learned good coping skills growing up in dysfunctional houses. We learned to simply scatter and cover. Unfortunately, our reaction to stress is seen by our girls, who will probably have the same dysfunction later if we can't get a handle on it. My daughter surely did show signs of having a good ability to see through the cobwebs, though. Bless her. It is so hard for me knowing that she sees me reacting innappropriately to stress. I'm so glad she thought to bring me to God to fix that, and ultimately, He brought her to me to do just that.
Thank you, my loving father. You are THE BEST.