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I read somewhere that if what you wish to accomplish can fulfilled in one lifetime then you're not setting your standards high enough. I was wondering if I could steal some more advice from you. I haven't had a job in months, and I haven't gotten a job because I still don't feel right about getting a job just for money. I can't really think of any job that I would do, that's why I dropped out of college and why I left the city I had just moved into. I'm going to run out of money soon, in a few months, and I feel like a leech sometimes living here with my dad and stepmom because I don't help them financially. But every time I think about trying to get a job I just can't seem to go through with it. I know it seems like I want to live in a fantasy world, but I...I don't know I'm getting deeper into this than i meant to...I just don't know what to do. I just want to live by myself somewhere with trees and green grass, and all I do is talk about what I want to do, and what I really mean is, I can't figure out what my mission in life should be, I mean how to accomplish what I think is important trying to protect and restore the earth. And so...I actually don't know if there is actually a question in there anywhere but I don't really know how to write this out. So any advice on this rambling would be much appreciated. Oh and I always feel horrible asking something like this at the end after I've just rambled but I wanted to know how your business endeavor was coming along is it going well? HOpe you had a good day.
Good evening Stardustpilrim, hope that your Christmas went well. You have any special traditions for this upcoming new years? I was actually just writing cause I've just been thinking a lot lately. I had another flying dream, I don;t know if you've ever had one. It's different for most people, I mean that it varies some people fly just themselves, others have wings, or they use machines. My dreams always start at my dad's house where I'm living right now. I start to run down the road and then I jump launching myself into the air, I always think I'm going to hit something or fall, but that fear is never strong, I just keep gliding through the air. Until that burst has no more energy and I eventually slowly hit the ground, either jogging or rolling a bit. I just can't seem to figure out what this dream is supposed to mean, and I can usually analyze my dreams really well. It's just that when I run and leap and end up flying in the air, there's nothing unnatural about it, it always feels so right. I can't really sleep on my bed anymore either, for some reason I can only get some sleep on the floor. And I don't know maybe I am just rambling, but just walking through my life nothing really feels real, I mean except when I'm by myself with trees and the breeze. When weird things happen to me I feel alive and that this is right. May be I was just born backwards into this new world where the metaphysocal and magical are not commonplace. Anyway, just felt like asking if you have any insight to any of that. Thanks as always, and have a good new years.
Good evening Stardustpilgrim, Yeah Meg and I are kind of a mystery when it comes to the identical and fraternal twins thing, I just say that we are identical because we look a lot alike. You see identical twins are supposed to be in one egg together and fraternal in two seperate but meg and I were two in one, so everyone had to ponder on that one. I don't know about tomorrow but I'll see her on Christmas day. I'm spending Christmas eve with my mom's family and Christmas day with my dads. But I got see meg today and yesterday for my mom's wedding, so its ok. I guess I should look up how that guy built his house so I can find a place of my own and start. I'm so glad you've gotten some days off, and you get to see your family. I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
Hey,friend! Hope you are all healed up, and here's to your new endeavor and to a wonderful holiday season!
YOu were right about the new setup for the discussions...I can't figure them out. Well to give you an update on my life at the moment, I've spent the past two days working as the computer handler while my stepmom and sister arrange for theor niece to get here from Arkansas to escape her abusive boyfriend. I was able to find some satellite photos on google, and with the help of some nice security guards and some police officers she should be here by tomorrow morning. I really just want to go camp out in my grove of trees and sleep out in the rain tonight, but alas I will remain in my room tonight with the window open. I wish I could show you this picture that I just drew of what my dream hose is. I would live in a tree with my cat and a horse. I've wanted that since I was a kid. I'll get there soon though. HOw are you doing by the way, work and the like with your shoulder?
I'm copying this over from the thread you posted about it to me:
My copy of "The Way to Love" arrived yesterday, and riffling through the pages I can see that it will be a good thing for me right now. Thanks for pointing me to it.
And I'll add--After starting to meditate on the readings in it, seems like a perfect companion for this Advent. **big smiles**
Good evening Stardustpilgim, I'm really glad to hear that things are going well with your shoulder. I only wish that I had such encouraging news about my families health problems. It seems as though my father's lou garretts is getting gradually worse faster, he can't really walk around a lot anymore for a long time even with his walker and he'll probably need a feeding tube in a few months. To make matters worse my stepmom has to have brain surgery now or the next time she has a seizure she could kill herself. You know my dad and I used to joke around about them being cursed but it certainly feels as though someone is trying to destroy their lives curse or malicious spell included. That;s not to say that I'm trying to blame some higher power but the idea of a malicious attack on them doesn't seem so far off right now. Other than that things have gone pretty well all things considered. I'm working on meditation to increase my spiritual power which is difficult but it something to work at right now. If you want to know the truth all I've everreally wanted to do is go build a tree house in the middle of an abondoned forest with my bow and a horse for a friend and just live by myself with the trees, and learn what I can through listening to the birds, the wind, and sound of the leaves. But I have to work hard right now because my family needs me, and I don't think I could forgive myself if I didn't try to help them the best that I can. I'm sorry I don't mean to sound so depressing. The thing is, I've never had anyone close to me die in all of my eighteen years of life and I really don't know how else to handle it, sometimes when I try to really think about what will happen soon I can't breathe its like my heart would start to crack. But I suppose that is how all people feel when one they cherish is sick. This is a really depressing letter, I'm kinda debating whether to send or not. BUt I guess I just want someone to tell. Thanks for letting me express my feelings I'm sorry if it was a little to depressing. I hope you're having a good day though I know that sounds horrible after I wrote all that like it was an afterthought...I'm babbling now I hope your shoulder is heals soon.
Yeah my thanksgiving is going really well, I get to visit my family on my mom's side as well as my dad's. HOmemade cooking is the best, then its like everyone isn't eating just plain bad food like normal. Plus I love my grandma's cooking. Anyway though just wanted to say that I'm hoping that you're having a great day too.
Hello Stardustpilgrim, once again I'm happy to hear that your shoulder is doing better. I don't think I've heard of the movie martian child but i'll check it out. Not much has occured over in my neck of the woods. Oh, I don't think I mentioned this before but I bought I think 5 books by this author Gwen Frostic. I had never heard of her but I found her books in my favorite used and rare bookstore in Jackson. I can't even fully describe how surreal it is to read them, I feel like she took the words unspoken from my own mouth. Its all about nature and they are absolutely beautiful, I wish you could read them. Anyway I digress, not much else going on, but I look forward to hearing from you. Bon nuit
Hey, I'm sorry about your rotator cuff? No wonder you were having such a hard time typing such long comments to me. Thanks for that by the way. Oh, and I'm sorry you didn't get to see that movie you wanted. I know how that feels, I spent forever waiiting for the movie Peaceful Warrior to come out. But I finally got to see it in theatres. I would have written you earlier but my computer's internet in broken right now on my computer at home. I hope to be able to write to you again soon, but for now I hope things are going well. And good luck with your movie :)