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What can you do when you repeatedly ask a family member to go to counseling with you to try to heal the family and they say you make them feel unwelcome and that you can't kick them out of the family? I've invited them to my home & asked we all get together to celebrate my mother’s (their grandmother’s) birthday and they get offended by that claiming I make it sound like they never go see her – then tell me she’s invited to 2 birthday parties for their son & not invite me. I forgive and let go, and then the same kind of thing happens again. “Shared custody” of Mom is a very sad thing at Thanksgiving and Christmas.