I just came back from the therapist and I don't know if it is going to be ok. I brought up money but she didn't say anything about it. I also don't know if she will be feeling good about the therapy. I am feeling really hopeless and I don't know what she will be doing about it.

I miss my mom so much because she is abroad. I don't know why but I was thinking that I needed someone here. I don't know why I am missing her so much. It is weird. I don't know why but we didn't get to it in therapy.

It was an ok session, we didn't get deep into things. I am very depressed so I don't know if that had an effect on things. There was a person before me and I think he had a good session with the therapist and I got jealous especially that the got into 10 minutes of my session. She was sorry and I accepted it. I wanted to bring it up again but somehow we did talk about it. I tired but we got side tracked.

I don't know if there is hope and I really don't anyone to give me hope and then not find any of it. The only thing I can do is to wonder if things are going to be better or not. If not then that is ok if it is then that is good too. What if I am going to lose all hope and nothing will be better? What will I do?