I am at a point in time.  At this point I see myself as very suicidal.  This is a point though.  It might change, possibly it can change.  However it is important to remember that it is only a point in time.  I don't know what will come next and I don't know what has passed.  I don't know though how to change my fate, if that is the correct way of expressing it. Is it even possible to change my fate.  Is suicidality something I can control.  I seem to think that it is something that I control.  I think it would be wise to reexamine this idea.