So the divorce papers have been signed, and we should have already gotten them back but haven't. I have been struggleing to say the least. I was ok while I was workign overtime, going to school and taken care of my mom's health. I was exhausted and my health had been going down he drain. But now the semester is over and my mom is doing better, and I am working on my health. So now it is hitting me. I am starting to think of all the years I envised with him , and his family. At first we talked everyday like best friend still, but now there will be days I do not hear from him at all and when I do it is short. I should have known it was coming but still. I never kept a lot of friends being married to him because he always found something wrong with them, and he always had to have his friends around and by the time they would leave I was sick of people. So now that he is not here and all I have is a three year old to talk to I realize how alone I am. I use to long for everyone to leave and for it to be quite now I long for noise in the house, the silence is something that after ten years I am not use to . I am trying to redefine myself because in those ten years I lost who I was. So know I am on a path to find myself, it is just the getting started. Where do I even begin?