Hi everyone! I have joined this community because I am looking for others who are struggling with the same things I struggle with, and I am hoping we can be a source of insight, comfort, and encouragement for each other. I am a regular reader of "Beyond Blue", and that has really been a lifeline for me. I am hoping to read more of your stories, and share mine with you, as we get to know each other better.
I have had bouts of severe depression and anxiety in my life, and winters are especially difficult. I cannot tell you how happy I was to see this past winter finally end! With the sunshine came better and brighter days. It was a winter that taught me a lot, though, and for that I am grateful.
I am also exploring elements of my faith that completely deviate from the doctrine I grew up with, and I am interested in talking to others who have had a similar experience. I grew up in a Pentecostal Evangelical church, with the ever-present belief that God was angry with me and looking for a means by which to punish me every time I screwed up in even the slightest degree. As I got older and went through my own life experiences, I came to understand that God was not like that at all. The older I get and more of life I see, I realize I know less about what and who God is, but I know a whole lot more about what and who God isn't. I am learning to be okay with the mystery, though. God is too big for me to ever fully understand, and it is a comfort for me to finally accept that I do not have to have all the answers.
I have not rejected my faith in Christ, but I understand Him differently than I once did. I am interested in exploring who Christ really was and what He really meant when He said....well, anything He said. I am of the opinion that Christianity as it is commonly understood is the product of political maneuvering, rather than spiritual epiphanies. I want to know truth, and be set free.