I called my self Serenity, because that is what I am seeking. There is a lot of conflict in my life, and am trying to find a spiritual center, to achieve a real inner peace.
I reject organized religion such as Christianity, because the focus is on an external force. I also find the idea that an all powerful god, would created imperfect beings, then punish them eternally, because of their imperfections, absurd. I don't want to live in fear. I can understand why Christians are God fearing.
I find Buddhism attractive. Buddha had a very strong desire for enlightenment. For six years, he tried all kind of things to achieve this state, and failed. Only when when he let go of all his attachments and goals, did he become enlightened.
He taught that all people suffered, and that there was a way to end suffering. You had to let go of your desires, and live in the present. When you had desires, you were projecting in the future. Even when your desires were met, you would not be happy, you always want more
Everything Buddha taught made sense. He did not pretend to be more then human, and he didn't give credit to any supernatural power for his enlightenment. He also told his followers, to question everything he taught, and believe only what was right for them.
Here at last was a religion that did not require a leap of faith. Anyone had the ability to become enlightened, and acheive a true inner peace, free from fear.
I realize that peace has to come from within. Others can help in my journey, but in the long run, I am responsible for myself. In order to achieve the peace I yearn for, I have silence my mind, and listen to the wisdom of the heart.
This is easier said then done. When I meditate my mind chatters like a monkey. I know that if I desire stillness, I will never achieve it. so my focus in on self acceptance. No matter what happens, I remind myself that it is acceptable. There is no judgement.
I am still at the beginning of my journey. I realize that my journey will never end.
I have a made little progress, I have become aware, that I know only a tiny fraction of what I don't know . I realize that the only way I can truly learn is from experience.
I hope to make friends and exchange ideas. I welcome any comments.