For my first journal entry I am going to write about something that has plagued me for most of my life.
My ungodly plague is depression. Today, after a long talk with a certain someone I realized that I have made many excuses for not dealing head-on with my problem. Excuses such as: it's the people around me, if only I had a good job, if I had more friends and my ever famous: it's hereditary so I can't do anything about it.
Well, this ends NOW. What I'm living doesn't feel like living..it feels like punishment. There has to be more to life and I intend to create a life I feel I deserve. Cutting myself off the world, overmedicating myself to numb my feelings, and keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself letting them brew inside me and suddenly blow up and breakdown are not things that can be a part of my life anymore.
No material thing or person can make me happy. My happiness and contentment lies within myself. I know that I'm in for a long and hard journey but it can't possibly be worse than succumbing to my depression and letting it win. I know that I am ready now. I have faith in my future.
Dear seeking light,
Denise1961Your a beautiful girl....
Your taking the first step in the right direction. This is a positive site. Im new here, Celestial just accepted me as her friend, thats where i saw you. I feel ya girl.and I am with you on this...
I like that drawing you have posted.
I have been feeling similar, never used too though...It runs in my family too...But they're crazy! to me LOL..
I have created the place I'm in inadvertantly..
I didnt ever realize it until recently - thru faith....simple prayers.
I have so many coincidences in my life that I know they are Godincidences..showing me his presence.
Its tough to change the attitude, I have to work on it, sometime hour to hour, see it clearly everyday.
I take Zoloft to slow the overthinking, but that only helps a little.Just enough.
I stopped numbing myself with alcohol..that was hard, Im working on recovery- One day at a time. I made a decision to quit, I dont care for the meetings, so I dont got to many, but they do work.
I write poetry, photography for fun, paint, draw, watch soaps, play on the computer email to pass the time.
I live in Michigan, so I lost my job. Im married 19 years, have a nice family - but we need prayers.
What is it you would like us to pray about the most?
For me...Its innner quiet, for quality prayer time - that will get me thru the rest....
Bless you, my "Belief" friend
Denise
8:33 PM