38 year old divorced american muslim from an arab "muslim". Rocky childhood...even rockier 20 year marriage....whatever time I have left I would just like to be able to relax and find someone I can trust and believe in. Always being afraid or in doubt is way too tiring and unproductive. I have always loved being a mom and now Im a single parent and its very hard work indeed...but I wouldnt change it for anything. About being a Muslim...somedays Im so strong in my faith I feel like I could take on the world and come out the clear winner...other times I feel like Im just a sham...going through the motions cause people are watching me. I try to balance the ego of the first with the shame of the second and find a middle ground to get me through most days. Insha Allah I will be rewarded for that constant daily struggle.