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Sunday, August 19, 2012, 12:36 AM
In a world of endless unrealistic expectations that we place upon ourselves and others, take time to say a blessing. Bless yourself and others. As I get older, I realize that there’s a price to be paid for success, happiness, peace and stability. The price is hard work, dedication and persistence.
It’s so easy to look at a person’s situation and believe that life is so much better for them. Most of the time, it’s because we just don’t have the facts. And we can never get into anyone’s head to know exactly what they are thinking or how they are feeling.
When most people have anything of real value or significance, they have sacrificed time, effort, emotional and sometimes physical labor to make it happen or to keep it going. Of course, we never see all of their mental, emotional and physical hard work, we mostly see the benefits.
We get out of life what we put into life. No magic formula. No secret recipe. The longer we live, the more opportunities we’ll have for negative things to happen to us. We all experience events that are less than pleasant.
The two questions become… “What do you do?” and “How will you react to unfavorable circumstances?”
You’ve got two choices:
You can go through life bitter, angry, resentful and full of fear, with the belief that nothing good will come your way. Stay stuck in that mindset choice and grow reluctantly, if at all. Or:
You can choose to deal with the hurts and pains that life deals out (from time to time) with an attitude that says, “I’m going to be grateful for what I have right now, where I am now.” With this mindset, you can embrace the lessons, take responsibility for your choices, learn and move forward with more courage and hope.
Male, female, rich, middle-class, poor, doctor, housewife, teacher, factory worker, black, white, young, old… Life with its sometimes hard challenges doesn’t discriminate.
None of us gets through life unscathed. And if we choose, we will get through and learn to be better.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012, 3:12 PM
As I get older, I become more aware of words and how they’re used, the tone of voice chosen to express them, and the manner in which we choose to address others and ourselves. We often inherit communication habits and styles from people in our environment of origin. If we grow up in environments where people speak lovingly and kindly to each other, we tend to develop those traits. But if we grow up in households where people curse, verbally abuse, and berate, we may carry on those traits in ourselves.
Sometimes we’re blessed or lucky enough to recognize negative patterns we’ve inherited that we don’t like, in time to change them for the better. I remember speaking sharply to my children during times of frustration years ago. One day, my husband said to me, “Katrina, stop talking to those girls like that!” In that moment, I saw my life flash before my eyes and realized that I’d adopted behavior that I learned as a child. In that moment, I made a conscious decision to seek out parenting classes, training that I felt would meet my needs and those around me.
I committed myself to positive change in my life.
Prior to committing myself to changing my communication habits, I didn’t have the skills or knowledge to have gentleness of tongue. Little by little and over time, my mindset and word choices changed. Since I’ve learned the habit of using kinder words, it’s difficult for me to think about life any other way.
Sometimes I listen to people in conversation and it’s amazing how cruel we are capable of being with our words to each other. Sometimes when people are harsh with others, if I’m close enough to hear, their words cut through me, too. It’s not a good feeling for anyone to hear.
Using words like please, thank you, I’m sorry, you’re welcome, hello, good-bye, I love you, you’re great and using a tone of even mellowness can make the coldest of hearts and habits melt. Respect yourself and respect others.
Learn to use your words kindly and wisely.
If you have a life-long obstacle you want to leave behind, while learning a better way… And if you’re ready to make a positive change in your life, I recommend that you give personal life coaching a try. It would be my privilege to support you and help you open the door to your opportunities.
Friday, July 31, 2009, 10:19 AM
The concept Self Care is a topic that most people on many levels can identify with. The problem is that, the concept is so broad, it means different things to different people. When I write on self care, I am dealing with the conversation or topic that concerns how am I taking care of myself? What efforts am I consciously making on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to re-energize my mental, physical, spiritual resources?
I believe that most people don't recognize the importance of regeneration or renewal of ourselves on a regular basis. We understand the concept of having to replace our cars with gas and oil because if we don't , the car will not run properly, if at all over a certain period of time. We understand the concept of having to replace our refrigerator with food at certain times because we run low, or out of certain items such as milk, eggs, lunch meat, juice, etc. Most of us even understand that our refrigerators must also be cleaned out to run efficiently and to keep our food properly stored.
Unfortunately we don't always have good concepts about our mental and physical health. We run our bodies down down down with unhealthy eating habits, lack of exercise, lack of proper rest, often not taking medications properly, allowing our minds to constantly focus on negativity, allowing stress to take over or minds and bodies, and the list can be endless. I think you get the point.
I want to share some techniques and ideas that over time have proven effective on my journey of self care:
1. Slow down and breath.
2. Consciously replace negative thought with positive affirmations.
3. Be yourself, it may feel unconfortable or scarry but do it anyway.
4. If you don't know who you are, be willing to learn.
5. Learn how to laugh at yourself.
6. Chose to be around people who celebrate you.
7. Realize it's okay to be happy.
8. Take time to care about others.
9. It's never too late to reinvent yourself if you don't like what you see.
10. Believe that you are worthy and deserving of all that life has to offer.