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    Sunday, April 11, 2010, 7:28 PM [General]

    Been wild. Anyone that knows me knows. I can go anywhere but I choose not to. I can't stand choice. Afraid of reason and purpose. Everything that was before me I am afraid of. Or dislike. I shun many.

    But what I do welcome is polite, warm, and everlasting care. Forget the hardness. Forget the softness.

    Somewhere in between there is comfort.

    So college is in front of me now. I walk with direct advice with God. I ask the dumbest questions. Like what should I do

    Jesus has led me to him and I love the way he has succeeded. Wonderful. I see that I can get into people mentally and share thoughts. Imaginations.

    So I try to convey what is on my mind seeking a match or some type of amen. I rarely get one but so what.

    I'm a pacifist christian. I was a street warrior. Fighting against bullies and people giving up. I was a rock. But now I'm turning the other way. Seems you get older and do that. But I can still say the hell with this and flip out. But I won't. I'll stay in the warmth.

    I've turned the other cheek. Been hit and said I owe you one like something was cool. Was I hit. Instead of striking back I just buckled down. I turned to Jesus and found he was weak like me and was with me.

    Now I'm free from all that. In school praise the lord. He is great. He is wonderful. I've fasted. Prayed. Been beaten. Been victorious. Been on top. Been on the bottom. Now I'm here. As long as I have this breath I will pursue my dreams.

    They are being in a rock band playing shows, working in the field, going to parties and having a gorgeous wife. All kinds of stuff. Amen.

    So I'm Sam-e the E-sammy

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