My dream church has a slight glitch. It's full of people who are, shall we say, substantially more financially solvent than I am? I was ready to do my share for the church, I really was. Their faith, beliefs and practices are right up my alley. But for the fact that I am on a MAJORLY restricted budget and am doing good to give anything at all every week, it's a great place. But please, please, PLEASE tell me I don't have to have a checkbook to speak to the God and Goddess. I have so much to give, so much heart and so much love, but the one thing I have the least of is what they want the most of?
I'm certain I'm misunderstanding. Certainly they wouldn't turn someone away who wished to worship but could barely afford food, much less extravagant donations? What upsets me the most is I was warned about this by an older person and I thought, "She's jaded. It isn't really like that." Well, good gracious, after this morning's service I'm almost too ashamed to show my face again.
At least when I was alone and isolated, nobody asked for my credit card before I honored the gods.
I'm going to go back one more Sunday. I'm hoping against all hope that I totally misread this morning and that it's not really like that on a weekly basis. Maybe they're just not used to someone on a shoestring budget attending their services. Maybe if I tell someone? Just quietly say, "I can't afford to give much. Am I still welcome?" the answer will be a resounding "YES!"
The way things are shaping up, I'd be denied the Eternal Rest for lack of personal funds. I need a break. Or I've had a break -- a heartbreak.