My husband works out of state and I stay behind with our dogs most of the time. It gets very lonely as I don't really have any friends here. I don't make friends easily. I suffer numerous medical problems: bipolar manic depression, scroliosis, arthritis, just to name a few. I feel guilty and so very lonely most of the time. My mom and I live in the same town and she is about the only person that I have here that I really socialize with. We do have a home Church that we have attended for many years, yet I fail to be able to connect with anyone.
My husband is an electrician, he rewires Safeway stores in Colorado mostly and I do get to go see him some. He does get to come home a few times a year, but, of course my medical expenses along with daily living expenses don't allow much time together. I can no longer work outside our home.
I feel even more useless than usual. I have to have someone else come in and do the cleaning and yard work. It really makes me wonder why I am even here. I am just so blue today. The pain in my head and shoulders are really taking a toll on my mood.
I don't like this part of my illness. I call it a curse, unfortunatly the depression was passed on to all of the children in one form or another. I see my own sweet daughter battling so hard to keep her sanity so that she can get through school and raise her children. It has hit her so young. She called me last night crying and asking me how I have been able to deal with this for so many years and I had no answer for her other than It's a part of who I am. I tell her that I just Thank God everyday for all the good and Pray that he will bring me back from the bad.
I have joined this site because, I hope to find understanding people who will help me to Pray for my family, Rejoice in the good, and help me to walk closer with the Lord.
Robbie is gone again and I'm not dealing very well this time around. Been out of meds. My doctor weand me off my antidepresants so I'm rather blue. I just cannot afford the medication right now. I'm in the donut hole on my insurance. The house insurance refuses to pay for the storm damage on the house. I started haveing really bad chest pains so my mom took me to the ER. They did a couple of EKGs and X-Ray and blood test the refered me to a cardiologist. The doc at the hospital said that it was Angina Petoria or some such or other. Anyway said it was brought on by stress. Ya Think? My life just sucks right now.
Well life goes on. I have been able to go back to work only to find that my back is not holding up. I am blessed though. I have seen my daughter get married on Oct. 24 and my husband was able to come home to walk her down the aisle. What a Blessing this was!!
Please keep Kimberly and her husband David in your daily Prayers
The holiday's are upon us! Let's not forget to invite God to join us in all of our busy lives and activities.
He Is the REASON for this Season!! God Bless us All. EVERYONE!