DAY ONE
Saturday, February 21, 2009, 6:39 PM
[General]
THIS IS THE BEGINNING. THE BEGINNING OF LIFE FOR ME WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER AND ACCEPTING IT. SHE HAS BEEN DEAD OFFICIALLY ONE MONTH ON THE 19TH, AND I HAVE REALIZED NO MATTER HOW I CRY, BEG, OR PLEAD SHE WILL NOT BE COMING BACK TO ME THE WAY SHE WAS. SHE IS NOW AN ANGEL. IT IS SO HARD TO MOVE FORWARD, I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM STUCK IN THE PAST, I THINK OF HER ALL DAY EVERY DAY AND I KNOW THAT IS ALL I HAVE IS MEMORIES. THIS IS SO HARD, THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT HURTS ME. IT IS HARD TO SLEEP, EAT, LAUGH ,LOVE WITHOUT HER HERE WITH ME. I MISS HER SMELL, SMILE, LAUGH, EVEN HER CRY. I AM ASKING GOD FOR STRENGHTH THROUGH THIS. I KNOW I HAVE TO GO ON FOR ANTONEUS. HE NEEDS HIS MOM, I AM ALL HE HAS AND HE HURTS, TOO. HE CRIED THURSDAY NIGHT AND IT BROKE MY HEART. ALL I COULD DO IS HOLD HIM AND TELL HIM I LOVE HIM AND IT IT ALL RIGHT FOR HIM TO CRY. HE LOVED HIS LITTLE SISTER AND HE WAS SO PROUD TO HAVE HER. I FEEL AS IF I LET HIM DOWN. GOD BE WITH US TO HELP US THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME.371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
