For the last 6 days I've been living, eating and sleeping in the Medical Oncology unit of our local hospital. My partner's mother has end-stage cancer and both of us have committed to staying with her as long as she's in the hospital.
While keeping vigil for her, I've found myself enveloped by a beautiful sense of silence that I haven't experienced in a very long time. The hospital does an amazing job of creating a peaceful, healing atmosphere for it's patients. So there are no beeping monitors, no blaring televisions. Just silence.
In this silence, I've taken time to go deep within myself, to connect with the indwelling Christ presence I've read so much about. Lo and behold, there it was, patiently waiting like a parent waiting in the wings for their child to finish their performance and come offstage.
In this silence, I discovered a wellspring of compassion, love, peace and power. Just when I'd thought I was running out of compassion, just when I thought I couldn't love and accept myself, just when I thought I would have to carry the burden of this anxiety alone, I found my true self in the silence.
The most amazing part, was that I didn't have to resort to any methods of meditation or relaxation. I simply got still and closed my else. Just as scripture tells us, "Be still and know that I am God". Knowing that I AM presence is inside of all of us, this passage came alive for me in the silence. Be still and know that I AM God. Once I really embodied this concept, the doors of compassion, peace, love and power flew open and I had the opportunity to view and confirm that we are all connected by one presence, and this presence is us.
All this, by simply closing my eyes and being with the silence. Allowing thoughts to drift in and out of my consciousness. I can honestly say I've had more profound spiritual experiences here in the hospital than I've ever had inside the walls of a church. And that's because I finally took the time to enter the temple inside of me.
Blessings,
Dustin
