Level 3 Member
Monday, September 22, 2008, 1:13 PM
the beginning of a new day for me. As I delve deeper into beliefnet, I
find more and more of my old "spiritual" self coming back. I guess I'm
not as lost as I thought. I just forgot where the road was. It's
difficult with so much else going on in my life—looking for a job, trying to get my home straightened out, and dealing with the "neighbors from hell"—sometimes
I just feel like giving up. But I must go on. Arleen and the critters
are depending on me. I am re-connecting with my spiritual side. It's
doing a lot to help me keep going
Of course, taking care of and teaching the foster puppy keeps me going too. Aubrey is learning
very quickly, although she did have two accidents yesterday. Mostly
from my inattention. She is growing so fast, it's almost unbelievable!
She was 22 lbs. when I took her to the vet and I'm sure she's gained at
least a pound or two since then. And she's getting taller every day.
She already helps herself to the dog food from the 40 lb. bag.
is a great dog and she's going to make someone a great pet. She's very
laid back, especially for a puppy, which makes it much easier to work
with her. I expect she'll be gone next week. I will miss her, but I
know she'll give someone lots of love and companionship.
Bentley has been
a real love bug the last few days. He wants lots of petting and loving.
I guess he finally decided to get in on the action since all the other
puppies are. For those of you who don't know, I call all my dogs puppies—no matter how old they are. Like the old saying, "You're always a puppy to momma."
Muffin has also been real loving
lately. I guess they all realize somehow that mom's been sick. I've
been struggling with a kidney infection and it's made me real tired
lately. I'm taking lots of drugs. I have to go back to the doctor this
week and then to a urologist in October.
Tootsie is always
with me. She really is my soulmutt. She has been since the day I got
her. It's strange, when I first got her, I felt such a strong spiritual
connection to her. We bonded immediately. One night, she climbed up on
the bed to snuggle and we did what I call an "exchange of breath"—breathing
into one another. It was very powerful and spiritual and since then, I
have felt like she's a part of me. Not just a dog, but part of my
spirit. I'm sure some of you might think I'm nuts, but...the bond is strong.
To me, my connection to Spirit is not something "up there" or far away. My connection to Spirit is here and now, every day in everything. My dogs are an integral part of the connection. So are my birds. When I look out my window and see the sky and the trees, when I hear the birds singing, watching a butterfly in my garden —all these things are part of the connection to Spirit. Sometimes I want to dance in the woods alone with my dogs. When we walk or run through the park, I can feel their spirit lifting mine. And I know we are one.
I'm not saying I feel this wonderful oneness with everyone. I still struggle to reconcile my feelings of and belief in oneness when I am confronted with evil or hate. It is a struggle I know I'm not alone in and one I will probably be working on the rest of my life. But it's a job I accept because the beauty I find in simple moments keeps me going even on rough days.
Blessings to all,
Claudia and her critters...
Sunday, September 21, 2008, 9:41 AM
Day five with Aubrey and she is doing much better. She's a very laid back puppy. She is sleeping at my feet as I write this. I put her collar on her today and she seems fine with it.
I was exploring beliefnet this morning. I am still seeking a path that fits what I believe. It's hard to find. I struggle with the idea of rituals. Since I consider Spirit to be everywhere and in everything, I consider every day, every hour a "worship" time. I feel the pull of the seasons and love nature, which I believe brings me closest to Spirit. But "going to church" just doesn't fit to me. I can't go inside a building, especially one with few or no windows, and consider it "worship."
I though about and continue to explore earth-based religions, but again, the "rituals" and everything associated with them, turn me off. For me, the best way to honor Spirit is just to sit and enjoy nature—this is something I have always done and it has always brought me peace and a feeling of oneness. Although I still tend to pray in the old-time Christian tradition, church just isn't my thing. I am considering going to some earth-based groups and just explore more. Wish me luck!
Saturday, September 20, 2008, 10:20 AM
There are times when I hate blogging! Especially when I lose everything before it's posted. I admit, I'm new to blogging and still learning, but... I'm beginning to think, for me at least, I need to write my blog in Word or Word Pad and transfer it to the page. That way, I can save what I write while I fool around with it. Oh, well, I'll keep trying.
I have been looking for a job for over a year, but still no luck. I need a regular paycheck and health insurance to survive. I have been on unemployment, but I only have a few weeks left. Maybe I'll end up like so many others—working at McDonald's.It is annoying that, with over 25 years experience, I can't find a job. I know I'm not alone here.
I have been working with a company called Trilogy and another company called Petlane selling pet toys, treats, and healthy pet food. It's moving along, but this kind of thing takes time. So I need something to fill in while I work to get the business going. In the meantime, I make art, work with my foster puppies, sit in my garden, and pray. Having the support of beliefnet helps me tremendously. I'm glad I'm here. Bless everyone.
This is my fourth day with my newest foster puppy, Aubrey (I didn't pick her name). She's finally settling down and acting more like a puppy. When she first came home, she was afraid of everything and constantly whining and crying. I found out that she was born on a farm, so every city noise she heard was new to her. Needless to say, she spent a lot of time shaking. I also discovered in the first few days that she HATES her collar. I even had the vet check her neck when she went in to be spayed. I just wanted to make sure she didn't have any problems. She is ok with a harness, but freaks out when she has a collar on. Go figure!
Now that she's spayed, I have to keep her quiet (no jumping or stair climbing) for two weeks?!?!?!?! Good luck with that. She's a puppy!! Right now, a sleeping puppy thank goodness. I have, as always, put a blessing on her to find a good, loving home and family. I bless each of my foster dogs before I send them out in the world.