Saturday, May 16, 2009, 3:34 PM
A lot of folks have been asking how I was saved so I thought I'd just write it down for you.
Ok, now don't laugh but I found Jesus in the head, that's right in the bathroom. It was on the anniversary of Roe v Wade and my brother who was a born again saved believer and I were discussing Roe v Wade. He'd been trying for years to get me to come to the Lord but I just wasn't ready I guess. This was the time when televangelism was getting started with Jim and Tammy Baker, Jimmy Swaggert and others I forget. I'd listen to them and just think to myself what a load of shit. Then my brother would preach to me and I didn't really hear him and he would leave tracts of scripture laying around my house for us to find and that just really pissed me off and pushed me away from wanting to know if there even was a God or not. Anyway on this one particular day I guess he got me to thinking and I asked him how do you know if you're ready to be saved and he told me to pray to God and ask Him to reveal Himself to you and to guide you into truth. Then the conversation drifted elsewhere and we both went our separate ways.
I went home to catch up on some paperwork and in the midst's of doing it I had to go to the bathroom. I was in my office upstairs where the bedrooms were. Normally I would use the master bath even though I had to pass by the hall/kids bath to get there. For some reason I just decided to use theirs. So like I usually do I check to see If there's enough paper on the roll and there was at least one quarter of a roll and on the back of the toilet was a full roll. So I knew I was ok. Well as I sat to do my business (as my mom used to say) I was talking out loud and asking God, that if He was real for some kind of sign. I told him I'm not a gullible sap like my brother and I need more that just someone telling me I need Jesus. I went on till I had finished my business, then I reached for the roll that had a quarter left on it but for some reason I reached around and grabbed the roll off the back of the toilet, didn't know why but I did. It was one of those rolls that come pre-wrapped, so I unwrapped it and thru the paper in the trash can.
I then stuck my fingers in the roll to unroll some paper as I did I felt a piece of paper which I pulled out. I went to flip it into the trash can thinking it was a coupon for a couple cents off your next roll. As I went to flip it into the trash it didn't leave my fingers, so I looked at it and it was a tract of scripture. Now, I'm not an idiot and I knew some Christian stuck it in there, wasn't my brother since he hadn't been over in a long while and if I had found it at any other time I would have cursed the a-hole who put it there. But I just asked God for a sign and then I got scripture from a roll of TP, which really didn't need to be opened.
Whoaa wait a minute, did what just happen really just happen? I can't believe it, blew my mind, Jesus Himself could have appeared to me and I think the scripture tract would have been more convincing because I would have thought I was hallucinating or something. I called my brother the next day and said I have to see him right away. We met and when I told him his jaw dropped he was more blown away than I was. He went around telling everyone in his church how I got saved. Ever since that day I know with absolutely with no doubt that there is a God and Jesus is the way to Him. Glory to God for reaching His hand out for me to grab. So, yes, saved while taking a dump. Of all places, probably one of the last you would expect to be saved and I now often pray to God while in the head.