Wrenna's experience

    Saturday, November 8, 2008, 7:23 PM [General]

    It asked nothing of me

      There is an old saying "The more I learn, the less I know." I began, thinking I knew that there was a god.  I was wrong, I simply assumed it due to my upbringing. Then, I decided after studying several religions that they were all bunk and there was probably no god at all. Then, when I started having mystical experiences, I thought I believed in god again. After all, who saved me if not god? But the more sure I become, the less I am sure, and for that matter, the less I am sure that it matters whether or not I believe. Because whatever it was that saved me it asked nothing of me.

       For the longest time I could only define it in apophatic terms, even though at that time I didn't know the word. After spending a little time at debate forums, I kept getting accused of defining my god by what it was not, instead of what it was. Yet, how could I possibly know what it is? Who it is? If it is? I really only knew what it was not. It was not jealous, it was not demanding, it was not EVER going to send me to hell. That's a positive, if you ask me.

       Just because I gained the ability to see the world "Pregnant with god" doesn't mean that I know what or who god is. It could be an energy, it could be all of our energies. It could be all our energy together invested for thousands of years to create it, or it could be something completely outside ourselves. It doesn't matter to me. I know what god is NOT, and that makes all the difference.

    Wrenna  (Wrenna posts at integralmysticism.getforum.org )

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