"For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. (Lam 3:31-33)

All my of my life I've been searching for a spiritual center - a point from which I can begin.

I was born Methodist and attended Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist and Lutheran churches throughout my life but never felt any pull - any certainty that I was where I needed to be.

"And for this we labor and strive, that we have put our hope in the living God, Who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe." (2 Timothy 4:10 )

During a recent neighborhood house party in the home of a devout Christian missionary I realized I was still wrestling with some of the basic tenets of Christianity - the utter reliance on faith, the seeming necessity of accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior, and the seeming cruelty and insensitivity of what we are to believe is a benevolent God. We talked late into the night, my host and his wife listening to my arguments, me listening to theirs. It came down to this argument - would a truly benevolent God be so petty as to require that we prostrate ourselves before Him - worship him unconditionally as the only way into Heaven? Would a beneficent diety grant a murderer and a thief passage into Heaven but deny entry to a person who had lived an exemplary life of kindness, consideration, generosity, community spirit and involvement, never breaking the law of God or man because that man refused to make that pledge?

They both gave a resounding "Yes," - because God isn't interested in good works. God wants to have a personal relationship with us without which all else is meaningless.

So the good man who lived a good life would be denied Heaven and the murderer/thief would be granted a seat at God's right hand for accepting Jesus as his personal savior.

"This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior Who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." (1 Tim.2:3,4)

It's the classic "works versus faith" argument that has plagued man for centuries, and plagues me still. I can't get past the fact that it seems petty for an omnipotent diety to require worship or he'll withhold eternal bliss. 

There's another question as well.  Who are we to assume what God wants?  Who are we to think we know God's plan for us - his needs - his desires.  (Please excuse the use of he - it's easier than doing the he/she/it thing every time.)

I believe in God - or rather in a supreme being, and I honestly and truly believe Jesus was the son of God - as are you and I.  I'm just not sure, however, that God is particularly interested in our day to day lives - what we had for breakfast - if we had an impure thought - whether or not we profess belief in the hopes of achieving eternal life.  It's what my staunch Catholic ex-sister-in-law describes as faith based on the "better-safe-than-sorry" school of thought. 
 

According to BeliefNet's calculator those beliefs put me closer to Wicca, UU, Liberal Christian or Liberal Quaker than to any others.

So, here I am - looking for like-minded individuals - hoping to learn more about myself, spirituality, and the nature of God.

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