I joined Beliefnet becaise I'm searching for spiritual answers when I don't even know what the questions are.  I am a Recovering alcoholic and addict and I just realized I am married 34 years to  an alcoholic who is a dry drunk, which means he isn't drinking but he also is not working a Program of Recovery.  Which means we are both miserable.  I'm tired of the verbal and emotional abuse and its time for some changes.  I started going to Alanon, hoping to learn how to "detach"  and to  "Let go and  Let God".  My Recovery focus has been AA; now it needs to be NA.  Due to Degenerative Disc Disease and arthritis, I've been hitting the Vicodan and Percocett and I have some concerns.   I no longer take care of my grand-children and my own children are grown and gone and its just me and hubby - I finally have time  to work on me and I have a lot of work to do!  I need a lot of help and guidance in finding finding the God of My Understanding - He was the Baptist God of Hell and Redemption - "if you're good, you'll go to Heaven; if you're bad, you'll die when you die, you'll  die when you die, you'll die when you die."........ (Grand Funk Railroad - gimme  shelter  - Collectors Series CD - 3-02-71 -

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