I am a mother of a 4½ year old boy. His father and I live together and have been together for the last 7 years. I have OCD, am Bi-Polar(new discovery) and suffer from depression(for years). I have recently been led back to God for some reason, but cannot quite explain why. I believe in God, but in the small town where i live, I do not believe in hipocracy. That's what most of the churches here believe. "Do as I say, not as I do". I'm not the gung ho type of religious that I tell everyone about it. I'm the quiet religious that lives with my own beliefs and respect the beliefs of others around me. I am not one to say whose religion is right or wrong. I know what is right for me. I am uncomfortable in church and find it hard to connect to those who are in church. I've had too many bad experiences being involved in organized religion to want to go through the heartache again. It's too disappointing to me to see a so called "God called" pastor leave his station for a female member twice his age that is married to another man all the while decieving the congregation and blaming founding members for things that were not correct to take attention off of his wrong-doing. It's hard for me to understand "that in church everyone is equal" unless of course your family doesn't make enough money to help further the career of a greedy youth leader. It's not right to leave people out of things because of money or social status. It's also hard for me to understand the feeling one has during a total "takeover by God" moment where you are filled with the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues, when your fellow members look down upon you because the 20th Sunday in a row, your pastor has had someone else come from another church to do yet another sermon on tithing and says come up if you are filled with the Holy Spirit and you are shunned because you don't follow their lead and repeat what they say because that means you are don't want to follow their religious falsehood and pretend. Three seperate churches. Three seperate stages in my life. That's pretty much me and where I stand on organized religion.