having  been a " house guest " of my very dear hearted ex wife and wonderful our son ( who is by the way getting ready to turn 20 this yesterday!) for the past few years i did not until this week realized just how " out of the loop" i have become with sharing more then a brief greeting / shot chat with those i may have crossed paths with.

living here in Vets Haven NNJ interacting with fellow vet residents and staff folk is taking me more then a bit effort on doing those things well/ consistently with Our Savior Brothers Lave of Love.

i mean to say that i understand His Directive intellectually and i give every fellow human being a wide latitude and assume until proven otherwise that each fellow vet i meet is likly more important to Our Father YAHWEH then i am;

that is until i see large enough  measures of self created evidence  that tells me otherwise and then i find myself acting to those folks as if they are walking ghosts meaning nothing to me in the least except as  potential blocks and hindrances to " others " they will likely contaminate with the spiritual poisons that  they  themselves freely clearly drank deeply from in there younger days as i my self had done so may times in mine.

what bothers me the most about my posture is that i have adopted toward  these folks is that i know it IS NOT as Our Savior Brother acted nor is it how He would have any of His Disciples act as we are to represent Him and His Way not anything else-

that our mercy to others is who we find mercy for our self;

and yet im stuck not knowing how to get myself from this ditch i drove myself into.

oh well i guess i will keep asking Our Sister Grace ( first name Amazing) to try once more to show this block head how to do better for Our Father YAHWEH and Our Savior Brother Yesh'wa's sake.

2 last notes:

the superintendent still has not approve my latest flyer for thursday even servcie ( in this latest one i called it a "Quaker Style Service" -no minister, no bible or prayer books needed or welcome- only ones own faith) so i guess its gunna be just Our Savior Brother Yesh'wa, Our Dear Sister Grace and me.... again.

and...

- i found out that im about 10mi north of a place called "quakertown" and i went to see it thinking it would fun to be a " modern day quaker residing in quakertown nj" at least it sounds sorta wonderful...im looking foreword to attending a servcie in there meeting house one of these Sundays when there is not so much ice on the roads.

i still consider myself a " disciple of The Messiah" but i do like the quaker way of worship and living a loving life as a living worship to Our Father YAHWEH,

although i have not renounced violence as a still at times needed response to other folks violence i do not think i would be welcomed into any of there communities as a member unless i do-

even thought there are many Quakers today that uphold the bible like so many other folks do-

an act that mr george fox the founder of the Quakers would never have allowed that as he saw it as i see -

a toll more spiritually harmful then helpful ( gospels records  aside)...

i wounder dose my faith as it stands now make me a quasi quaker?

well that's all i have for now-

peace and good and tons o'love to any and all that happen upon these poorly built words/ sentences/ ideas  of mine....


yours truly
peter the romin american
>p

they call this domicile program i'm currently residing in "vets haven" but really VETS HEAVEN would be closer to the truth.

we are about 1200 feet above sea level in a " hacienda style" bldg that gives vista views of each of the compasses main  points.

on more the a few occasions i was blessed to witness Our Fathers Sunrise over the local rolling hills and tear provoking sunsets into the pa poconos mts  on the same day!!! 

the wild life up here is protected with all hunting outlawed and so the deer packs grow large and they often will take food stuffs gently right from ones extended hand.

i still can not get over there wonderfully gigantic pacific brown eyes soft facial expressions they each own.

being here over these past few weeks i have been able to find and keep a prayerful state of mind more so then i have ever been able to before.

however i have also been more crude and vulgar in my speak so as to be able to more easily interact with my brother and sister vets here.

crud vulgarity of speech is often our first military language we all learn in our trainings that we often carry with us going foreword;

but once again Our Savior Brother Yesh'wa Messiah was exactly correct in His cautioning us on the waggishness of our toungs...

at the end of many days here  i wish i could pop out my toung and place in the cup with my upper denture for a good and needed cleaning!

the facilities population census has grown again over these last few weeks yet sadly we lost a few to continued drinking and drugging too-

 we are near 40 men now 34 men 6 women  and the winter in nearly half over.

i have been trying with mixed results to bring Our Savior Brother Yesh'wa Messiahs  Healing to all in need here but the personal links made with some of my kin here and the "long standing  friendships" they hold with there drugs of preference is a hard bind to brake without there want and cooperation's...

yet in very happy to report some good things do come to pass none the less.

sadly its a lot like that old joke / account when three men were fishing on a beautiful lake in mid week mid spring day when from the ether Our Savior Brother was on there small lake  boat with them-

they went from shock to joy in a second flat recognizing Him at once.

the first man that spoke said " oh geez its great to see you! thanks for all the mercy and help and such a happy life your love made possible for me ...thanks;

...but my shoulder has been cramping up a lot recently ... do you think...

and Yesh'wa said "I GOT YOU COVERED BRO" He touch his shoulder and it felt wonderful and cramp free.

the second man in the boat saw this and said Hay Jesus would you help me with this leg thing....and before he finished his request with a Touch of Yesh'wa Messiahs Hand that leg thing went poof.

with that Yesh'wa turned to the 3d man at the rear of the boat and moved to heal him too when the man recoiled and shouted " no please don't touch me... im on disability"

some folks just want to say on disability here too or mayhaps they just do not believe that  after all we did on battle fields all around the world  Our Savior Brother has anything to heal them from...

or that there is no one caring enought to bring the healing/ mercy/ Perfect Pardon.

i will of course continue to continue to deliver exactly that knowing as i do being FORGIVEN brings forth the very best and most lasting healing of all-

no matter the residual limp or scars or tears would tell us other wise.

from here then Heavens Heaven is only a bit of Purest Love away!


yours truly
peter the romin american
>p

there is nothing i can think of that is like the feeling of freedom following a period of confinement.

this afternoon when i was informed that all my preliminary stuff was complete and my liberty was restored i felt as lazerus must have when Our Savior Brother Yesh'wa Messiah called him forth from his dark tome-

GREAT, GRATEFUL  and ALIVE!!!

at once i limped to where my car was undriven for 16 days started it up and went to the local walmart for a chest of draws and a few very important supplies like potato chips, reeses cups, and salteens for the local safeguarded deers that abound here in the nwnj wilderness.

along the way i called my ex and our son to tell them " im commin over in the am to make em sunday morning breakfast!" -

i missed cooking for them and my cat time the most these past few weeks but in a few hours i will miss them no more!

iv been walking on a cloud all after noon and i built the chest of draws without a single error / mistake!

well im gunna get some sleep now-

thanks again for all the supportive and responded to prayers...

peace and good and tons'o love to you and all yours too.



peter the romin american
>p

this "veterans haven" domicile for homeless veterans in nw nj that i am dwelling in was to me at first a wonderful series of blessings for me and the other 40 or residence too-

but now not so much.

there is a " 30 day black out period" that all entering residents must agree to and agree i did-

however there were stated " exceptions like doctors/ lawyers/ other such appointments " that i was assured would be honored/ respected if any of them arose during this time i would be able to handle them without the need to return to day one;

so far in these past 2 weeks two of those " exceptions" occurred  to me and both required my rescheduling then and not attending to them or else....

there are monitoring cameras in all common and theripy rooms and im getting the feeling that we here may be some graduate students phd thesis...

without exception everyone i met here even myself has had noticeable affective changes during this " black out" period.

for me i am ready to ask my ex if the sofa is still open although i will set up my tent in some open area first-

being a vet dose leave one with skills like tent living.

at least i did get to have a "last sadder memorial" and quaker style quit time service earlier this Savior Sabbath day followed by a rare opportunity to watch then near to the  last episode  of tina fays 30 rocks show and at the time of this writing im felling better then well.

there was no one at the service other then i , my / Our Sister Grace and as per Our Savior Brothers Word "WHEN EVER TWO OR MORE GATHER TOGETHER IN MY NAME SO TOO AM I THERE" so it was just the three of us.

i handed in the announcement flyers about this service in our chapel a few days ago but they had not as yet been approved nor posted-

however become nether was the request rejected i went on with it anyway.

i do not want to sound unfair or ungrateful-

i know many vets that suffer from very sever medical, psychological /spiritual conditions that would and do benefit from a "  retreat/ regroup time " at least on paper 30 days looks/ sounds like it would be a great idea/ just right amount of time;

but if anyone responsible for enforcing this rule were them self ever subjected to living this rule this rule will fade into a 24/72 hour bit at most.

lastly we do unfortunately have a gop governor here in nj and this 30 day black out may well be his admins way of " inspiring everyone here  to just move on elsewhere if you don't like it".

well lots o'folks seem to think that karma stuff " what gose around comes around" has merrit-

i can only hope ... and pray that its so.


yours truly
peter the romin american
>p

after ten days "BLACKED OUT" in this nj state funded " veterans transitional residence/domicile"  in which i dwell today i was allowed to visit the federal regional va equivalent  facility called "lyons"for a dentist visit.

in these  parts "lyons va hospital" is manly know as a federal veterans psychiatric hospital but it dose / renders many many other good things for vets.

lyons is a very large campus with most of its old building dating to the depression era.

waiting  for the shuttle van as the midday sun sank into early evening   i used the time  to set and see the near very many  folks rushing about as if there were seeking to find some cover for an soon to start fire fight or engaging in self debate and condemnation over some real or imagined event  as some  punched at  the air as others looked to be blocking incoming attracts abreast and across from regular folks and suddenly i saw a panda motif-

a black and white  healthy and ill contrast was striking.

all in all it was heart breakingly sad to witness so many suffering so harshly.

when i returned in time for the dinner meal i looked anew at the mostly men and  few women residents here and i notice things i should have noticed sooner and i felt ashamed that i did not but there were just as broken folks here as were these at lyons va hospital and that i was and maybe still could well be as broken as they are gave me pause.

in my minds eye i saw times in my history when i too pouched the air and blocked off bodiless air attaches and demanded of the ether to make  cigarettes and booze  to appear before me like heavens manna....

and then  i came to understand that i am now in exactly the right place at the exact right time as i slowly but almost surly am coming to understand that these folks- us folks can become healed and whole again as i am now.

when compered to the healing the illness means nothing-

just like sin is nothing in the Light of Merciful Forgiveness that Our Savior Brothers New Covenant Law of Love links us into.

and just as the very good dr king and his mighty faith brought much freedom to his too to long enslaved peoples here in the land of the free-

so to i hope and pray that my faithful loving devotion to faithful love and mercy will help to free my once  fellow sisters and brothers in  arms from there now psychological imprisonment in madness and unending battlefields-

just as Yesh'wa Messiah did for me / still dose for me even now.


yours truly
peter the roman american
>p