after ten days "BLACKED OUT" in this nj state funded " veterans transitional residence/domicile"  in which i dwell today i was allowed to visit the federal regional va equivalent  facility called "lyons"for a dentist visit.

in these  parts "lyons va hospital" is manly know as a federal veterans psychiatric hospital but it dose / renders many many other good things for vets.

lyons is a very large campus with most of its old building dating to the depression era.

waiting  for the shuttle van as the midday sun sank into early evening   i used the time  to set and see the near very many  folks rushing about as if there were seeking to find some cover for an soon to start fire fight or engaging in self debate and condemnation over some real or imagined event  as some  punched at  the air as others looked to be blocking incoming attracts abreast and across from regular folks and suddenly i saw a panda motif-

a black and white  healthy and ill contrast was striking.

all in all it was heart breakingly sad to witness so many suffering so harshly.

when i returned in time for the dinner meal i looked anew at the mostly men and  few women residents here and i notice things i should have noticed sooner and i felt ashamed that i did not but there were just as broken folks here as were these at lyons va hospital and that i was and maybe still could well be as broken as they are gave me pause.

in my minds eye i saw times in my history when i too pouched the air and blocked off bodiless air attaches and demanded of the ether to make  cigarettes and booze  to appear before me like heavens manna....

and then  i came to understand that i am now in exactly the right place at the exact right time as i slowly but almost surly am coming to understand that these folks- us folks can become healed and whole again as i am now.

when compered to the healing the illness means nothing-

just like sin is nothing in the Light of Merciful Forgiveness that Our Savior Brothers New Covenant Law of Love links us into.

and just as the very good dr king and his mighty faith brought much freedom to his too to long enslaved peoples here in the land of the free-

so to i hope and pray that my faithful loving devotion to faithful love and mercy will help to free my once  fellow sisters and brothers in  arms from there now psychological imprisonment in madness and unending battlefields-

just as Yesh'wa Messiah did for me / still dose for me even now.


yours truly
peter the roman american
>p