I live with constant pain and there are many days when being able to hold a cup of tea is my biggest goal. I have the 'priviledge' of having RSD, COPD, IC, FM, RA, GERD, Lymphedema, and bipolar disorder. (All of which are incurable - they can be managed but not cured)
Most people don't understand what is like to live with debilitating pain day in and day out. It robs you of all energy, and even of joy, because either the pain pushes all other thought from your mind or the pain medication turns your mind to mush. Either way, functioning is a struggle that I have promised my family I will continue to fight. I almost gave up the fight and when I saw the effect on my partner and my family I knew that I would never do that again. I will fight to live each day no matter how hard. However, when my first grandchild was born, I was in the delivery room, and they placed him in my arms the part of my heart that froze when my youngest child died suddenly cracked and a flood of love and joy washed over me. He gave me reason to fight the fight.
I hang on to this bible passage from Psalm 139: 7-16 " I can never be lost to your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! If I go up to heaven, you are there. If I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, your strength will support me. If I try to hide in the darkness, [I Believe that darkness here refers to Depression]the night becomes light around me. For even darkness cannot hide me from God; to you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and Light are both alike to you. [I believe this means that no matter how dark the place we feel we are in - He is still watching over us, just a breath of a prayer away - no matter how far away from God we may think we have drifted - He has been with us the whole time. It's just that He won't impose Himself on us - we have to exercise our free will to reach out to Him.]
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous -- and how well I know it. You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book!" (Can there ever be any greater assurance of a loving, forgiving Heavenly Father than this)
I am a loving partner, devoted mother, daughter and grandmother. My family means the world to me. I had one beloved pet, Murphy (cat) who passed away Jan 30/07 at 16 years old. I'm interested in painting with acrylics and oils, pastels and watercolour, crocheting, crafting, writing, reading, embroidery and cyber penpals. Would love to find someone who has crewel work embroidery patterns. It seems to be a lost art. Painting and crafting helps me cope with my pain. Would love to correspond with others in a similar situation.
I have joined other "Communities", such as Facebook and PerfSpot, but I have not been able to find any with that mix of faith and spirituality as they apply to everyday issues of living day to day. I have been fighting with manic depression all my life and have nearly succeeded at suicide twice. My children, grandchildren, my partner and my Mom are big reasons for me to continue the struggle. I just want to find a way out of the circle of negativity that only leads to depression and find my way to positive thinking in spite of the pain I have day in and day out.