I lost my mother this year, July 29, 2008. She was diagnosed with cancer on April 29, 2008, and died 90 days later. I was holding her hand at home when she passed. She was my best friend and I am completely lost without her presence in my life. My father and two brothers are estranged from me (and each other), and my older sister is dealing with this as hard as I am, but we are not doing so well either because our individual grief is blocking our ability to support each other. I am also in a difficult relationship which is causing me even more suffering since my mom's passing. My faith in God has suffered tremendously since this all came to pass. I don't know how to fix it. I am in counseling and in support groups, but I can't bring myself to go to church and pray. I'm angry that my mom suffered so much; no one deserves that. She was a kind and giving woman and I can't believe she was taken from us so suddenly. My partner cannot deal with my anger; my friends cannot deal with my grief. The holidays and my birthday are upon me and it is so awlful. Help! Is there anyone else out there who understands what I am going through via their own experience? How do I find my faith again? I value any prayers and any friendship you have to offer.