right now I am upset and feeling like what the hell does it matter. I do not taked Xtan holidays and family holidays.. I leave them for people that have family they want to do things with.. I do take Halloween... it is a very important ritual for  me. today I was told that I could not have it off.. seem some one else put in for time before me that over laps what I asked for.. sgt was nice about it said he had got a part time worker to cover but then the bosses said they had to have 3 on evenings. ok .. shit happens .. I told him I would be there but that did not mean I had to be happy about it.. and also canceled the other days I had put in for .. did not need them with out Halloween. ok I am dealing with this .. then the one who put in for the time off that cost me my holiday askes if Sgt had told me about Halloween.. I answered very shortly yes.. that should be the end ok.. not .. she starts this she did not put in for that time because I would not change with her at Xmas... it was nothing personal.. I told her flat out that I was 53 yoa old and to old to play that game.. and until she mentioned the Xmas stuff I never even thought about it.. that may be her mind worked that way but I did not think that way.. she just would not let it drop .. I got pissed off but did not lose my temper .. it would have been very ugly.. I made it clear the way I answered her first question that I did not wish to talk about it.. she just would not shut up.. and until she did bouhgt it up I never thought about her planing her time off to pay me back for having plans for Xmas and since it was the frist after my mother died I did not want to have to deal with things at work.. now it has me wondering about her timing.. I do want to tell the sgt next time he had to turn something down because of some one else being off to not tell the other person.. I do not like this person any way and this just adds to my dislike..

not having Halloween off is very diffcult for me.. I am taking off hour early so I can at least get my ritual in before midnight.. I feel very down right now.. so glad I am off next two days..