I feel a little down right now, came home early from work. just needed to be away from people. I know this is because I decide to go forward and get mothers estate done.. I am afraid but I must do this. and this brings to mind so much pain and hurt.  I know my sister has hated my for years but all the things she said ... knowing they are not true does not ease it all. I wonder if I should have called her more but mother did not want her to know if time she was sick, or fell. this brings back memories and I plan out in my head what to say.... and do.. I am afraid but I need to trust my own strenght and the Goddess to keep my home safe.. this is my root and my only home.. I dont like change and it makes me afraid, but I will survice not matter what happens... I can do this...

still having female issues so that makes me even more edgy and this week have to work 6 days before rdo. one of the reason I said to hell with it and came home early.  Goddess I know you belive in me help me to belive in me