Objectivity

Webster defines Objective in reguard to  people as ~ Without bias or prejudice; detached- Being  or reguarded as being independent of mind; real; actual

Few people can pull off true objectivity or a truly objective stance on matters without serious training or "programming" through work or life.  If the training is through life it can start as early as childhood as it did in my case.  Yes I know that my "objectivity" can make me come off as a cruel heartless bitch and I try to temper that with aping the sensitivity and compassion that everyone expects of all humanity.  While it is not that I don't care my outlooks on problems that people bring to me can stress me out more due to my having to keep my objectivity in check and candycoat whatever I say to them.  Except with my family.  They created this objective person they reap what they sewed.

Objective... to most in a persons personality and basic attitude makeup means they are 24/7 detatched and unaffected by the situations around them that require them to be objective.  In my family it seems to be me that is the objective one and is expected to always be the objective one.  I am the one that has been on the outside of even my own family for so long I am not expected to really have any emotional ties to any matter in their lives.  I partly feel that this is a part of my aunt finding out my Myers Briggs Personality test results in comparison to the rest of my family.  My Mother Grandmother and Aunt all match in their scores while I am near "Polar opposite" to them.  marking me as being the least burdened with emotional attachment.  They would never suspect that I can have emotions on the matter due to how well I do hide them as programmed to do so to speak.  This "programming" over time has left me fairly cold to many situations of National global and local importance to the majority of humanity.  It has also left me fairly cold and careless about the state of humanity feeling that the worst is what we have all fallen to why harp on it.

Matters of family for example being my Grandmothers required move to a place that can better assist her and closer to family that can care for her.  While yes the Objective outlook is that she is getting care that I do not have time or energy to give and it takes the burden off my shoulders with raising a Special needs child as well as caring for two special needs parents,  one diognosed and one undiognosed.  Still there is an emotional side that I have not been able to voice due to my expected objectivity and detached and "logical" outlook on life in general.  With my Aunt accepting of my assistance in helping prove the logical points and benifits of the move and my mothers "Hatred" and anger at my "Lack of understanding" her emotional state over her loss it has not once accured to them that I may as well have an emotional side in this matter as well since I was nearly primarily raised by my grandmother due to my mothers psychological damage.  One side of the family hailing my logical understanding and objectivity and one side condemning for the same traits and cold indifference to the situation neither are capable of thinking that because I am more logically based that I can't also hold emotion as well.  Just because they have not or can not see it does not mean it does not exist. 

Another time when I am expected to be more objective than anything would be in relation to my daughter and her condition in reguard to what I feel should be or am comfortable with in comparison to what she wishes to do or people want her to do or feel she can do.  It has taken alot for me to be able to allow her to interact with the kids in the neighborhood both younger or older than her as well as any that  might be her own age.  Overprotective prehaps but when raised around two people that were special needs and always protecting them when I could it was an unfortunate programming that I have had to grow past.   What damage was spawned from earlier actions and overprotective nature on my part is unknown right now but I do hope that it has not added to her condition.  I have to be so objective on her condition and whats best for her and such ignoring the motherly emotional side of the matter as if it does not exist.  While with my personality its not impossible for me to do it does take alot for me to be able to do so. 

Objective with my father requires me not to let his jokes about my having to go to the store with him at his age get to me.  Yes I fully admit in the right situation I can be a pitbull of a person but to be constantly told that I am and how he is 65 and can't go to the store on his own due to a nurses orders and has to take me along and all the "spies" I have at the store and such as that and then listen to him tell anyone who will stop and listen.  I know he says its all in fun but still after nearly a year of hearing it at times it can... hurt.  Yeah I know I am not the emotional one but still even though I am damn good at ignoring them they do still exist.  Not that my "emotionally" based opinions have ever mattered or even acknowledged and I have grown accustomed to that fact it still does not change that I do still suffer the unfortunate creation called emotions.