I woke up with another migraine yesterday morning. I went back to sleep until around 7:30, and I still felt no better when I climbed out of bed and into the shower. I thought I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday morning and drove way across town. It turns out wires got crossed somewhere and my appointment turned out to be yesterday and I missed it. A nurse had made the appointment for me and I don't know if she told me the wrong day or whether I wrote it on my calendar wrong.

Driving all the way across town with a migraine and the traffic and the price of gas really got my goat. I allowed myself to get so angry, while I was driving at home I started screaming at God, "Why? Why? Why? Why are you continuing to let me suffer in migraine pain? You know I have anxiety and depression and you allow things like missing my appointment to happen. Why? Why? Why am I being punished?" And the rant at God continued on like that. Then I got caught behind a terrible traffic accident that took me 30 minutes to get through the traffic jam it caused.

While I was stuck in traffic, I called my primary care doctor and she agreed to squeeze me in at 11:00 for my first round of shots. Gary came home early for lunch in order to get me to the doctor. Due to my being stuck in traffic, he arrived home ahead of me, we jumped in his car and I made my 11:00 with barely a minute to spare.

I took a cab home, ate lunch and spent a little time on the computer. Then I had to go to my appointment with my new neurologist at 3:00. She is going to put me through a sleep study. I am to keep a headache calendar / journal for six weeks and see her at the end of that time. She says I am on way too many medications and she would like to get me off some or most of them. I don't think I could be any worse off, except if she takes me off my antidepressants. She will probably leave those alone, or at least I hope she does.

Due to my many bouts of critically low blood pressure that sent me to the doctor and ER 3 times in one day and a total of 5 times for the past week, my primary care doctor and I figured we should lower the dose on two medications we suspected of being the cause. The Diamond Headache Clinic in Chicago had raised the dosages, and I have been having bouts of hypotension ever since. It appears going back down on the dosing has worked to eliminate the hypotension, at least so far.  I'm still trying to figure out just what benefit came from going to Diamond, besides an empty wallet. 

By the end of today I will have gone to 8 doctor appointments since Monday (I'm not counting the eye appointment I missed the other day because I thought it was yesterday.) I am getting a really bad taste in my mouth from so many doctor visits and hospital ERs.

I did resume meditating again. I have done so three nights in a row. That's a very small streak that I must keep alive. It was also not enough to keep me calm and tranquil today. My attitude was really bad until I ate lunch. I also resumed exercise the day before yesterday. Now I must start getting myself to the yoga / Pilates / pole dance classes I have a gift certificate for (a month's worth of unlimited classes. If I can lay off all the doctor appointments I can make time for the classes and go to the gym as well.

April was such a bad month for me health wise, I did not meet many of my April goals except for drinking enough water, eating at least 5 fruits and veggies a day, and controlling my spending. So, I am carrying over my April goals into May. They are so ambitious they will probably get carried over to June as well. I have set 7/31 as my target date to reach final goal, and even that is pushing it. However I will take one day at a time and keep moving forward until I get to where I want to be, no matter how long it takes me to get there.

MAY GOALS

1. I am going to keep my streaks of drinking 8 or more glasses of water and eating at least 5 fruits and veggies a day alive.

2. I am going to aim for a weight loss of 2-3 pounds a week in order to fit back into my wedding dress by the end of June.

3. I want to go to the gym for strength training at least 2 days a week, and to the Pole dancing /yoga/ Pilates classes (belly dancing too!) 3 days a week.

4. I am going to take good care of myself in an attempt to minimize my migraines.

5. I am going to reintroduce meditation into my life, I have two days under my belt, and I need to make it a streak and keep it alive.

6. I am going to do Pilates training on the Reformer once a week with a personal trainer as part of my physical therapy.

7. I am going to set up my Wii "New U Mind Body" yoga and pilates workout and break out of my comfort zone with this new training.

8. I am going to aim for some form of exercise at least 20 minutes a day, 7 days a week...a real challenge with my migraines and other health issues.

9. I am going to continue to control my spending and work on rebuilding my husband's trust in me.

10. I am going to maintain my gardens as needed.

11. I am going to work on mending my relationship with God and start back doing my daily devotionals.

12. I am going to find a way to stop my increased emotional eating.

13. Get AngelBoxes.com website developed and up.

14. I am going to stay calm because that is what is best for me and for my marriage.

15. I am going to get a regular sleep schedule going and stick to it: 10pm - 6am.

I almost forgot to share: I want a gazebo badly, but in the interim, my mom bought us a gazebo bird feeder for our anniversary:




This is how green the grss should be, and hopefully it will get there soon.

Now watch me pull a cat out of a bag:



Or maybe I'll leave her be so she can be a happy, laughing cat: