Thank you Lisa for your comment, I know Sean is with me always however it is hard to find the strength to carry on.  As we wrote in his notice, 'We know God needs angels and that's why he took you, but those of us he left behind, didn't he know we need you too?'.  It is a physical hurt, an ache that will not go away, to lose a child.  It upsets the normal order of things and is something that one thinks will never happen to you.  Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.