i consider my self pagan, but have little idea to practice.  i need guidance from people who take this seriously, i am not goth or emo or one of those who just say they are pagan because they think it is the cool thing to be these days.

my dad was a christian minister in one of the most fundemental christian sects that exist and made hmself nuts most of his life, trying to find the truth in it.  finally he realized through his own studies that maybe truth lay elsewhere.  i believed for a long time as he did that i was evil because i could not identify or even like a god that inspired hate. 

i believe that all gods are one and PEOPLE are what cause hate and chaos, and use the name of their god to further their own purpose.

through my own research (and a bit of common sense) i found that most ancient religions are similar in nature and that did not require violence, hate for others, or blood sacrifice, until "leaders" were appointed.  then those leaders made up all sorts of ridiculous rules to keep the general public in the dark and at their mercy.  even Jesus in the christian bible condemned such practices, if they would read their own bible, they would see that, right?

not all christians are mean, in fact more and more are practicing tolerance and unity and actual caring for people who don't believe like them and that gives me hope for the world.  but, i myself still would rather go with what i know, that the first religion was the most accurate and effective

however, i need help.  i am emotionally unstable, as so many are these days, and have trouble remembering to do the things i need to do to practice everyday.  due to my particular disorders, ritual is important to me.  i need to alter and the incense and candles and such to keep me centered and focused.  but have trouble remembering exactly what to do and how to do it. 

is there anyone willing to counsel me and teach me?  i would so apreciate the helpand inspiration.

blessed be, LK