Today I ran into something unexpected.
Who knew that everything I say was being used against my brother? Well, yes, it is as personal as that sentence would suggest. And, yes, I'm disappointed and shocked, because, as I mentioned earlier, I have a 'swath of naivete'.
On the other hand, I came to a refreshed sense of family protectiveness.
I have two younger brothers. One is currently experiencing the equivalent of a divorce, although he was not married. In addition, she was his best friend. Having gone through two divorces, I can completely understand what he must be going through.
But now my attempts to make this transition smoother have backfired. As part of my spiritual journey, I am attempting to walk the talk, and one of the ways I've tried to do this is by nonviolence in my behavior and words. I interpreted that, in this case, to mean that I should attempt to maintain friendship with my brother's ex, or, at least, to not create any further animosity. My hope was to keep an already painful situation from becoming unbearable for my brother.
This has caused me to re-evaluate my approach to living nonviolently, to have a better appreciation of how much I do feel protective of my family, and to realize that my best intentions can be used against me. And what good are intentions when they cause others pain? Or rather, what purpose do intentions serve when the results of connected actions cause others pain?
I can't fix the world. I can't even fix my brother's problems. But some how I can make them worse without even needing to lift a finger. It makes me want to look over my shoulder.
