About Me:I am in a serious relationship that I have been in for almost 19 years but actually am trying to get out of because I am tired of the abuse and all the drugs. I am joining because I need to be able to talk to people and am seeking prayer, advice and just someone to talk to. I am not beautiful and my boyfriend reminds me of that everyday. I think I am scared to leave him because we have been together for so long and I am afraid of being alone forever which is what he tells me will happen if I leave him because he says noone wants to be with someone who looks like me and has 4 kids. He has been hooked on pills for about 3 years and steals from us and sells our stuff and flips out when he doesnt have the money for one. He calls everybody names says he doesnt care whether we live or die. His oldest (17) son acts the same way calling names and threatening to hit and already smokes weed. My favorite song is "Jesus take the wheel" by Carrie Underwood but it doesnt seem to be working for me. I need the choice to take him back taken out of my hands. I cry everyday and am just tired of feeling this way. I turn to God but feel bad because I really want to go to church and wont go in the clothes I have and have no money because of his drug addiction and I have an anxiety problem and get sick when around a lot of people and don't exactly know what church to go to. I need to find one.