So, I went down to the local watering hole last night to just, get out of the house for a few. I was hit on by a lesbian and "the token black dude" (primarily because EVERYONE in this bar was white, and a biker). But with that being said, I met some cool people after that was said and done, and I had an amazing time. One of the girls I met had the most amazing portriat tattoo of her grandmother when she was young. It was so beautiful! Nick was there and well, there's a good reason he and I didn't really start dating. He's so depressed all the time! And with my own emotional downfalls, it's a good thing we didn't! I mean, great guy, just too much emotional baggage. Like I have room to talk. LOL. 

All in all, I really needed to get my mind off of him, the move, and where I'm going to be in 6 months. It's hard to get certain things (or people) off my mind. But, I just have to look at it like this.....God has a plan, and there's not much I can do to interfere! I just have to let life run it's course and pray that there's always a place for me in heaven.

I sit here, day after day, wondering "WHAT AM I DOING!!!!"

I am driving myself crazy trying to answer this question, and I CAN'T!

I'm in love with a man who doesn't love me back.

I'm running away from this town just to spite him!

I am uprooting my family AGAIN because I am tired of being so close, yet so far away.

I'm happy, but I'm miserable! I'm scared, but I'm not!

I TOLD *HIM* TO WALK AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE, AND ALL I WANT IN THIS WORLD IS FOR HIM TO HOLD ME, TELL ME HE LOVES ME, AND THAT IT WILL ALL BE OK.

But that won't happen. It's just something I need to get used to.

But one day, one day I'll meet someone that loves me just the way I am.  Maybe not as much...But maybe then I'll be OK

I can't really believe it.  I'm 28!  A LOT of people forgot, some didn't care, and a few showed how much they truly care.  I guess this year is going to be a good one since 28 is my favorite number and that's how old I am!  Too bad I didn't hear from a few though. Made me a little sad.  :-(

Not like being emotionally drained is enough, I decided to go to the ER last night due to chest pains.  Doctors said everything was just fine, but it's still very uncomfortable.  I think this might be a sign that my heart has actually broken.  Not just figurtively, but literally.  Thanks DS!  You're the best.....