i'm a 51y.o. F who has lived with the daily challanges of Multiple Sclerosis for 20+ years now. i also have chronic depression, a common side effect of the M.S.
i read mostly spiritual & self-help books, my goal is to find a place of peace and acceptance within myself, to learn how to "let go" & see things in a brighter light. i don't meditate as religously as i should, there's another goal: to meditate daily no matter what.
i'm also a poet & i'm slowly trying to put together a book of my poems (or 2 or 3!) and get it published.
i recently lost my younger brother, my only sibling & am on the journey grief takes you on. i am determined to make his death have meaning. his final gift to me is all that i will learn and grow as i move thru this promise. my final gift to him is the same, along with developing greater compassion, understanding, acceptance, patience, a deeper love for myself & others, in other words, to make his loss something i can learn & grow spiritually from.
due to the chronic depression and events around my M.S. both past & present, i often have difficulty leaving my home alone unless i have a precise reason & destination (the doc's, haircuts, etc) & even then, i'm not fully comfortable. my goal becomes to just do what needs to be done so that i can get back home. i don't even get dressed or get out of bed some days, more than i'd like to count. born a loner, i have only a few friends, & so, spend most of my time alone. i aim to become more comfortable with my self. i believe in prayer but i also believe that what is meant to be, will be, a thousand prayers can't always change the direction of destiny.
i just want to learn how to be more grateful for all that i have in my life, for my life itself, which i almost lost, several times.
i want to be able to go with the flow of life. and meet people who think like i do. we can comfort each other, lifting our spirits.
5:19 AM