Yesterday, I gave notice of my resignation as a Weight Watcher Facilitator. I feel great! Since my depression I have gained weight. I'm very slowly losing it now. In that time I have been "taken off the floor" so to speak---not allowed to do meetings because I am FAT. My supervisor has been frustrated with my slow weight loss. I think anyone who has ever gained the "Paxil 35" knows what I mean. So, now I have 25 left to lose and that's not going to happen overnight. I'm tired of having my weight "watched" by my supervisor and co-workers. It just reinforces the diet mentality that I've lived with since my Mother told me I was FAT in the 4th grade and bribed me to lose weight! Then, it was my teachers, and doctors, on and on...until I had arrived to a place of self hatred and no self esteem over myself and truly believed I was unacceptable as I was. It even made God's love for me hard to fathom! Then, once I lost the weight (yes, thru Weight Watchers) I went to work for the company. Big mistake. Because the cycle was starting all over again.
So yesterday, I became pro-active in my own mental health by giving notice to end my job. No more eyes watching and judging me. No more nasty letters every month to tell me I need to lose faster. No more diets. I'm eating healthy and have lost 18 pounds on my own since June and will continue--without anyone elses' opinions.
I feel so good about this.