Yesterday, I gave notice of my resignation as a Weight Watcher Facilitator.  I feel great!  Since my depression I have gained weight.  I'm very slowly losing it now.  In that time I have been "taken off the floor" so to speak---not allowed to do meetings because I am FAT.  My supervisor has been frustrated with my slow weight loss.  I think anyone who has ever gained the "Paxil 35" knows what I mean.  So, now I have 25 left to lose and that's not going to happen overnight.  I'm tired of having my weight "watched" by my supervisor and co-workers.  It just reinforces the diet mentality that I've lived with since my Mother told me I was FAT in the 4th grade and bribed me to lose weight!  Then, it was my teachers, and doctors, on and on...until I had arrived to a place of self hatred and no self esteem over myself and truly believed I was unacceptable as I was.  It even made God's love for me hard to fathom!  Then, once I lost the weight (yes, thru Weight Watchers) I went to work for the company.  Big mistake.  Because the cycle was starting all over again.

So yesterday, I became pro-active in my own mental health by giving notice to end my job.  No more eyes watching and judging me.  No more nasty letters every month to tell me I need to lose faster.  No more diets.  I'm eating healthy and have lost 18 pounds on my own since June and will continue--without anyone elses' opinions.

I feel so good about this.