I joined this community because so few people really understand mental illness. People see you and you "look fine". I'm good at "acting" fine, usually. But it's behind the closed doors that the crying and downward spiraling goes on. Last year from Nov-Jan was my darkest. I entertained thoughts of suicide, spoke of it often, cried every night in the dark alone, forgot to eat, had no desire for anything. Earlier, I had suffered what I now realize was a mental breakdown while away from home with total strangers. I think this was the real "beginning" of my spiraling downward. I hid it for a long time not wanting my family to "worry" about me. In these darkest times, I was angry at God and begging him at the same time for "something". My life continues---is a daily stuggle.
maybe he is 'shoving' you thru a new door. be open.
look at it from a higher perspective.
starting something different and new might help u with what is 'holding' u back. they work 2gether.
my prayers for a blessed new year, Peace B
Depression is multifaceted . I was depressed when I was little . I wasn't shown any love when I was little . My dad was loving but he was barely ever home . My dear mother I can say that today in the past I couldn't . She didn't have the time to hug or be nice . She was burdened with just too much to do .
At seven years old I wanted to commit suicide I'm glad I didn't . I don't ask why I suffered as much as I did today because I know why . Sin entered the world and pain ensued . The closer I stay to Jesus the happier I am .
I've had to forgive the battery that I suffered in my early years . For me it was a decision to forgive . It was difficult but it freed me to be the child that God wants me to be .
It is true that we never forget but the pain associated with a life full of battery and rejection is lifted by our good Lord .
Depression can be treated in many ways . Sometimes medication is needed . Sometimes all that is needed is a worshiping community . I did belong to one many years ago and prayer through the laying on of hands really helped me .
maybe he is 'shoving' you thru a new door. be open.
Peaceb2ulook at it from a higher perspective.
starting something different and new might help u with what is 'holding' u back. they work 2gether.
my prayers for a blessed new year, Peace B
4:41 PM