Jolubarsky's blog listings. Feed Zend_Feed_Writer 1.10.8 (http://framework.zend.com) http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky New Beginnings Each and every day is a new beginning.  For example, I am beginning to realize that there are things in my life that I need to have that are exclusive from the life that I have with my husband, and my children.  Certain vices and indulgences are necessary for one's own mental stability.  I have never, ever before in my life been as scared as I am right now.  Scared of what my future will be if I chose to leave, and even more scared of what it will be if I stay.  Things like this can't be decided overnight, but they can be decided.  I just need to give myself time.

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Thu, 08 Nov 2012 03:01:17 -0600 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2012/11/08/new_beginnings http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2012/11/08/new_beginnings Each and every day is a new beginning.  For example, I am beginning to realize that there are things in my life that I need to have that are exclusive from the life that I have with my husband, and my children.  Certain vices and indulgences are necessary for one's own mental stability.  I have never, ever before in my life been as scared as I am right now.  Scared of what my future will be if I chose to leave, and even more scared of what it will be if I stay.  Things like this can't be decided overnight, but they can be decided.  I just need to give myself time.

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Why The Phrase "Gettin' On My Nerves" Has New Meaning How to overcome physical pain without really trying.

As a stay-at-home mom, I use that phrase all too often.  In fact, when your child is a super-genius, he/she may often be bored to tears because there is nothing to stimulate their ability to absorb information.  It can be equally frustrating for a child when a parent has limited mobility.  

As I write this story, I am struggling to see through the medically induced drowsiness that is my current state of mind.  

In fact, as a result of my injury, when I tell my kids they are "getting on my nerves", it's not just in the metaphorical sense.  I actually experience physical pain. 

Ever since the day of my injury I have known that there were things I would never be able to do again.  Simple tasks were challenging, although you wouldn't know it by looking at me.  

When my children got to a certain age, I could no longer pick them up for fear of exacerbating the nerves in my back.

At the time of my injury, I had gone back to school to finish my Bachelor's in Music. I was working as an independent contractor for the local newspaper and carrying a full load at school.

One day, while I was getting out of the shower, I felt an excruciating pain down my legs and had to be helped out of the shower onto the floor.  After calling my professors to tell them I would not be in class, my husband took me to his Chiropractor, to get a spinal adjustment.

The chiropractor hooked me up to a machine that sends electric shock waves through the affected area of the back that was causing the most trouble and went to work on my spinal alignment.  He explained how the nerves get inflamed in order to protect the spine from further damage.

According to the Mayo Clinic,

The condition, known as Sciatica, refers to pain that radiates throughout the path of the sciatic nerve and its branches — from the back down to the buttocks and legs. It is the longest nerve in the body and runs from the spinal cord to the buttocks and hips and down the back of each leg.

Sciatica is a symptom, not a disorder. The pain of sciatica indicates another problem involving the nerve, such as a herniated disk.  The pain of acute sciatica — which may be quite uncomfortable — usually goes away on its own within a couple of months.

"A couple of months?, I thought.  Well, there goes my 3.6 GPA"

From that moment on, my life was never the same.  There have been few days since then, that I can recall having no pain.  At first it was clear, I needed pain management.  The chiropractor gave me tips on how to numb the pain using ice packs and taking hot showers to calm the nerves.

I have tried to avoid pain medications, and at times I was tempted to give in.  The pain was so intense, I couldn't get up from the floor.  I spent a lot of time on my back, just trying to get comfortable.  I was unable to sleep and eventually went to see my nurse practitioner for a prescription.

Take one every four to six hours as needed for pain.

The instructions on the bottle were clear, but I found myself taking another after only three hours, especially that first day.  Eventually the pain began to recede but it has never completely subsided.

I have only recently come to accept that unless I elect to have surgery to correct the problem, there are just some things I am no longer capable of doing and eventually the pain does all but subside.  It takes time and patience and a little Faith.  In fact, prayer has been a huge help in accepting my situation.

I still have days where I can't function without the pain medication, but those are few and far between, so long as I don't do anything too physically demanding, like building a patio cover, which has precipitated my latest setback.

I am also happy to advocate for chiropractic care in place of pain medication if at all possible, since the chiropractor my husband referred me to is very good at getting me back to my normal, if somewhat altered, routine.

My thanks to Dr. Thomas Soapes

More information on Sciatica*

The pain can vary widely, from a mild ache to a sharp, burning sensation or excruciating discomfort. Sometimes it may feel like a jolt or electric shock. It may be worse when you cough or sneeze, and prolonged sitting can aggravate symptoms. Usually only one lower extremity is affected.

Sciatica symptoms include:

  • Pain. It's especially likely to occur along a path from your low back to your buttock and the back of your thigh and calf.
  • Numbness or muscle weakness along the nerve pathway in your leg or foot. In some cases, you may have pain in one part of your leg and numbness in another.
  • Tingling or a pins-and-needles feeling, often in your toes or part of your foot.
  • A loss of bladder or bowel control. This is a sign of cauda equina syndrome, a rare but serious condition that requires emergency care. If you experience either of these symptoms, seek medical help immediately.

When to see a doctor
Mild sciatica usually goes away given time and patience. Call your doctor if self-care measures fail to ease your symptoms or if your pain lasts longer than a week, is severe or becomes progressively worse. Get immediate medical care if:

  • You experience sudden, severe pain in your low back or leg and numbness or muscle weakness in your leg
  • The pain follows a violent injury, such as a traffic accident
  • You have trouble controlling your bowels or bladder

*Courtesy of the Mayo Clinic

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Thu, 11 Aug 2011 02:13:07 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/08/11/why_the_phrase_gettin_on_my_nerves_has_new_meaning http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/08/11/why_the_phrase_gettin_on_my_nerves_has_new_meaning How to overcome physical pain without really trying.

As a stay-at-home mom, I use that phrase all too often.  In fact, when your child is a super-genius, he/she may often be bored to tears because there is nothing to stimulate their ability to absorb information.  It can be equally frustrating for a child when a parent has limited mobility.  

As I write this story, I am struggling to see through the medically induced drowsiness that is my current state of mind.  

In fact, as a result of my injury, when I tell my kids they are "getting on my nerves", it's not just in the metaphorical sense.  I actually experience physical pain. 

Ever since the day of my injury I have known that there were things I would never be able to do again.  Simple tasks were challenging, although you wouldn't know it by looking at me.  

When my children got to a certain age, I could no longer pick them up for fear of exacerbating the nerves in my back.

At the time of my injury, I had gone back to school to finish my Bachelor's in Music. I was working as an independent contractor for the local newspaper and carrying a full load at school.

One day, while I was getting out of the shower, I felt an excruciating pain down my legs and had to be helped out of the shower onto the floor.  After calling my professors to tell them I would not be in class, my husband took me to his Chiropractor, to get a spinal adjustment.

The chiropractor hooked me up to a machine that sends electric shock waves through the affected area of the back that was causing the most trouble and went to work on my spinal alignment.  He explained how the nerves get inflamed in order to protect the spine from further damage.

According to the Mayo Clinic,

The condition, known as Sciatica, refers to pain that radiates throughout the path of the sciatic nerve and its branches — from the back down to the buttocks and legs. It is the longest nerve in the body and runs from the spinal cord to the buttocks and hips and down the back of each leg.

Sciatica is a symptom, not a disorder. The pain of sciatica indicates another problem involving the nerve, such as a herniated disk.  The pain of acute sciatica — which may be quite uncomfortable — usually goes away on its own within a couple of months.

"A couple of months?, I thought.  Well, there goes my 3.6 GPA"

From that moment on, my life was never the same.  There have been few days since then, that I can recall having no pain.  At first it was clear, I needed pain management.  The chiropractor gave me tips on how to numb the pain using ice packs and taking hot showers to calm the nerves.

I have tried to avoid pain medications, and at times I was tempted to give in.  The pain was so intense, I couldn't get up from the floor.  I spent a lot of time on my back, just trying to get comfortable.  I was unable to sleep and eventually went to see my nurse practitioner for a prescription.

Take one every four to six hours as needed for pain.

The instructions on the bottle were clear, but I found myself taking another after only three hours, especially that first day.  Eventually the pain began to recede but it has never completely subsided.

I have only recently come to accept that unless I elect to have surgery to correct the problem, there are just some things I am no longer capable of doing and eventually the pain does all but subside.  It takes time and patience and a little Faith.  In fact, prayer has been a huge help in accepting my situation.

I still have days where I can't function without the pain medication, but those are few and far between, so long as I don't do anything too physically demanding, like building a patio cover, which has precipitated my latest setback.

I am also happy to advocate for chiropractic care in place of pain medication if at all possible, since the chiropractor my husband referred me to is very good at getting me back to my normal, if somewhat altered, routine.

My thanks to Dr. Thomas Soapes

More information on Sciatica*

The pain can vary widely, from a mild ache to a sharp, burning sensation or excruciating discomfort. Sometimes it may feel like a jolt or electric shock. It may be worse when you cough or sneeze, and prolonged sitting can aggravate symptoms. Usually only one lower extremity is affected.

Sciatica symptoms include:

  • Pain. It's especially likely to occur along a path from your low back to your buttock and the back of your thigh and calf.
  • Numbness or muscle weakness along the nerve pathway in your leg or foot. In some cases, you may have pain in one part of your leg and numbness in another.
  • Tingling or a pins-and-needles feeling, often in your toes or part of your foot.
  • A loss of bladder or bowel control. This is a sign of cauda equina syndrome, a rare but serious condition that requires emergency care. If you experience either of these symptoms, seek medical help immediately.

When to see a doctor
Mild sciatica usually goes away given time and patience. Call your doctor if self-care measures fail to ease your symptoms or if your pain lasts longer than a week, is severe or becomes progressively worse. Get immediate medical care if:

  • You experience sudden, severe pain in your low back or leg and numbness or muscle weakness in your leg
  • The pain follows a violent injury, such as a traffic accident
  • You have trouble controlling your bowels or bladder

*Courtesy of the Mayo Clinic

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Revitalize Your Relationship What to do if you find yourselves in a rut that seems impossible to get out of.

        Let me be the first to tell you, I've been there.  There have been days when I wonder just what on earth I am doing in this relationship.  I have felt helpless and alone with my spouse right in front of me.  I have wondered how we've arrived at this place in our marriage.  

        Let's be realistic, I was ready to throw in the towel, and yet, we are still here, together because we have made a comittment before God and we are both devoted to making it work. After all, a good marriage doesn't stay that way unless you work at it.  That's not to say that it'll be easy.  In fact, it gets worse before it gets better, because in the process of getting help, you are asked to do and say things that will be outside of your comfort zone.  It'll be hard, but it'll be worth it. In some cases, a couple may require counseling before the healing can begin.  The important thing to note here is that as long as both parties are willing, the healing will begin.  Not only will there be healing in the relationship, but growth as well.

         Two months ago, if you were to ask me if I thought we could grow in this relationship, I would have said no.

         A great resource for Catholics and Christians to find the services they need to help guide them to a solution is found below.

Many services are available to help support and strengthen your relationship. Educational services are designed to help improve communication and revitalize your relationship. However, they do not substitute for individual or couples therapy.  

Here are the guidelines you should follow with regard to Relationship Education Services vs. Counseling.

Couples can benefit from Relationship Enrichment Services when they:

  • will face whatever is unsettling in their relationship and believe there’s potential for growth
  • can identify and agree upon the problems and issues in their relationship
  • are willing to open up and discuss issues
  • are motivated and optimistic about strengthening the relationship
  • are open to learning new skills to improve the relationship
  • are willing to work through anger and frustration

Counseling Services

Couples may need therapy when they:

  • have a sense that something is wrong in the relationship, but want to avoid facing it--one or both may deny the problem
  • recognize there’s a problem but have difficulty identifying the source
  • are overwhelmed by the negatives in their relationship and one or both feel like giving up
  • have issues that may be too painful to discuss
  • find talking about problems only makes matters worse
  • are so angry with each other that they hurt one another with words or actions

Note: A Couple may not be eligible for Healthy Marriages services, but are encouraged to utilize our referral services which will put you in touch with a couples counselor if there have been recent issues related to:

  • domestic violence
  • drug or alcohol abuse, or
  • significant relationship difficulties such as recent separation, infidelity, loss, or crisis

For counseling services available through The Samaritan Counseling Center (Albuquerque & Central New Mexico), click here

For more information on services offered, (in Albuquerque & Central New Mexico), click here 


 

 

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Sat, 30 Jul 2011 21:33:37 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/30/revitalize_your_relationship http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/30/revitalize_your_relationship What to do if you find yourselves in a rut that seems impossible to get out of.

        Let me be the first to tell you, I've been there.  There have been days when I wonder just what on earth I am doing in this relationship.  I have felt helpless and alone with my spouse right in front of me.  I have wondered how we've arrived at this place in our marriage.  

        Let's be realistic, I was ready to throw in the towel, and yet, we are still here, together because we have made a comittment before God and we are both devoted to making it work. After all, a good marriage doesn't stay that way unless you work at it.  That's not to say that it'll be easy.  In fact, it gets worse before it gets better, because in the process of getting help, you are asked to do and say things that will be outside of your comfort zone.  It'll be hard, but it'll be worth it. In some cases, a couple may require counseling before the healing can begin.  The important thing to note here is that as long as both parties are willing, the healing will begin.  Not only will there be healing in the relationship, but growth as well.

         Two months ago, if you were to ask me if I thought we could grow in this relationship, I would have said no.

         A great resource for Catholics and Christians to find the services they need to help guide them to a solution is found below.

Many services are available to help support and strengthen your relationship. Educational services are designed to help improve communication and revitalize your relationship. However, they do not substitute for individual or couples therapy.  

Here are the guidelines you should follow with regard to Relationship Education Services vs. Counseling.

Couples can benefit from Relationship Enrichment Services when they:

  • will face whatever is unsettling in their relationship and believe there’s potential for growth
  • can identify and agree upon the problems and issues in their relationship
  • are willing to open up and discuss issues
  • are motivated and optimistic about strengthening the relationship
  • are open to learning new skills to improve the relationship
  • are willing to work through anger and frustration

Counseling Services

Couples may need therapy when they:

  • have a sense that something is wrong in the relationship, but want to avoid facing it--one or both may deny the problem
  • recognize there’s a problem but have difficulty identifying the source
  • are overwhelmed by the negatives in their relationship and one or both feel like giving up
  • have issues that may be too painful to discuss
  • find talking about problems only makes matters worse
  • are so angry with each other that they hurt one another with words or actions

Note: A Couple may not be eligible for Healthy Marriages services, but are encouraged to utilize our referral services which will put you in touch with a couples counselor if there have been recent issues related to:

  • domestic violence
  • drug or alcohol abuse, or
  • significant relationship difficulties such as recent separation, infidelity, loss, or crisis

For counseling services available through The Samaritan Counseling Center (Albuquerque & Central New Mexico), click here

For more information on services offered, (in Albuquerque & Central New Mexico), click here 


 

 

0 Comments - Leave a Comment
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Health Matters in Marriage part 2 After attending several training sessions together for Pre-cana instruction, my husband seems to be losing perspective.  Every time he shows a little aprehension, I ask him if he's ready to give up.  What he doesn't realize is that if it weren't for the Healthy Marriages program, I would have already done that.  But men and women are different. 

We learned that at a recent seminar given by Bill and Pam Farrell, through the Better Marriages initiative. It was titled, appropriately: Men are Like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti

Although getting us there was a huge task, especially on date night, we laughed and enjoyed ourselves for probably the first time in a month.  I think we realized we weren't the only ones, and that there's a reason we have been mis-communicating.  We also realized how differently men and women think.  Since attending this seminar, we have a better appreciation for each other, and I think we're able to laugh at our differences rather than argue about them as a result. While I realize that knowing that will hardly solve all the problems in our marriage, it does help us to put things in perspective.

Below is a preview of the book and what it's all about:

How did you come up with the title "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti"? from Bill & Pam Farrel on Vimeo.

 

click here to order "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti"

 

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Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:17:38 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/28/health_matters_in_marriage_part_2 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/28/health_matters_in_marriage_part_2 After attending several training sessions together for Pre-cana instruction, my husband seems to be losing perspective.  Every time he shows a little aprehension, I ask him if he's ready to give up.  What he doesn't realize is that if it weren't for the Healthy Marriages program, I would have already done that.  But men and women are different. 

We learned that at a recent seminar given by Bill and Pam Farrell, through the Better Marriages initiative. It was titled, appropriately: Men are Like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti

Although getting us there was a huge task, especially on date night, we laughed and enjoyed ourselves for probably the first time in a month.  I think we realized we weren't the only ones, and that there's a reason we have been mis-communicating.  We also realized how differently men and women think.  Since attending this seminar, we have a better appreciation for each other, and I think we're able to laugh at our differences rather than argue about them as a result. While I realize that knowing that will hardly solve all the problems in our marriage, it does help us to put things in perspective.

Below is a preview of the book and what it's all about:

How did you come up with the title "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti"? from Bill & Pam Farrel on Vimeo.

 

click here to order "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti"

 

0 Comments - Leave a Comment
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Divine Providence    When our second child was just a few months old, we went out for ice cream after having a yard sale on a hot summer day. 

In Las Vegas, you have to be especially careful when going out on a Saturday night.  We were living in Henderson and the ice cream shop was just a few blocks away.  Since we were a long way from the Las Vegas Strip, however, I didn't give it a second thought.  In fact, I was relieved to be getting out of the house for a while.

We enjoyed our ice cream and watched our oldest son play while the baby had a much needed nap.  

On our way home, we were stopped at a red light and when the light changed, I noticed a black SUV speeding in the other direction.  I watched as the driver hit the brakes and put his vehicle in reverse.  We were about 1/4 mile away from our house.  He then proceeded to turn around and head in our direction.  I was frightened by this so I told my husband to pull over and let the man pass.  By this time, the man driving the SUV had caught the attention of several other vehicles that were going in the same direction as we were.  Not knowing what he was about to do, they all stopped, allowing him the freedom to head directly toward us.  At this point I put my hand on my husband's shoulder and said: "babe, pull over, please, just let him pass..."

Realizing that we had two small children in the vehicle, my husband complied, and I thought the man would simply speed right by us and we'd be on our way.  That's when he pulled along side us and pulled out a gun and pointed it in our direction.

 I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I know that we ended up driving up the Boulder HWY,speeding through traffic lights and heading toward the nearest police station as the 911 operator had instructed me to do.

The man was never charged with anything since aiming and pointing is a misdemeanor in Nevada.

I was traumatized by the whole event and became somewhat of a recluse for a while after that, but I will never forget how thankful I was that we were all unharmed.  My life could have been destroyed that day if not for the Grace of God.  

Jesus has carried me through so many things and I am so humbled by his Love and Grace.  

     Every day, I thank Him for giving us the Blessing of another child not long after that incident and praise His name for all the wonderful things in life that so many of us take for granted.

1 Comments - Leave a Comment
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Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:00:37 -0500 http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/27/divine_providence http://community.beliefnet.com/jolubarsky/blog/2011/07/27/divine_providence    When our second child was just a few months old, we went out for ice cream after having a yard sale on a hot summer day. 

In Las Vegas, you have to be especially careful when going out on a Saturday night.  We were living in Henderson and the ice cream shop was just a few blocks away.  Since we were a long way from the Las Vegas Strip, however, I didn't give it a second thought.  In fact, I was relieved to be getting out of the house for a while.

We enjoyed our ice cream and watched our oldest son play while the baby had a much needed nap.  

On our way home, we were stopped at a red light and when the light changed, I noticed a black SUV speeding in the other direction.  I watched as the driver hit the brakes and put his vehicle in reverse.  We were about 1/4 mile away from our house.  He then proceeded to turn around and head in our direction.  I was frightened by this so I told my husband to pull over and let the man pass.  By this time, the man driving the SUV had caught the attention of several other vehicles that were going in the same direction as we were.  Not knowing what he was about to do, they all stopped, allowing him the freedom to head directly toward us.  At this point I put my hand on my husband's shoulder and said: "babe, pull over, please, just let him pass..."

Realizing that we had two small children in the vehicle, my husband complied, and I thought the man would simply speed right by us and we'd be on our way.  That's when he pulled along side us and pulled out a gun and pointed it in our direction.

 I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I know that we ended up driving up the Boulder HWY,speeding through traffic lights and heading toward the nearest police station as the 911 operator had instructed me to do.

The man was never charged with anything since aiming and pointing is a misdemeanor in Nevada.

I was traumatized by the whole event and became somewhat of a recluse for a while after that, but I will never forget how thankful I was that we were all unharmed.  My life could have been destroyed that day if not for the Grace of God.  

Jesus has carried me through so many things and I am so humbled by his Love and Grace.  

     Every day, I thank Him for giving us the Blessing of another child not long after that incident and praise His name for all the wonderful things in life that so many of us take for granted.

1 Comments - Leave a Comment
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