I've struggled greatly with depression and anxiety my entire life. God has certainly gotten me through a lot of hard times, that's for sure! Then, a few weeks ago (early March), the man that I prayed God would send me one day (and I was lucky enough to meet 5 years ago) was diagnosed w/ leukemia (CML). But hey, no one said life would be easy, right?
As for my religious life, that's confusing, too. My Grandfather (no longer living) and two of my uncles (both living/retired) were/are Presbyterian ministers. I was raised Presbyterian and am SO thankful for it! My youth group at Church is what got me through my high school years! But I was always curious about the Mormon (or LDS) faith, as I grew up with several LDS friends. I ended up converting 10 years ago, but left a few years later and returned to my Protestant roots. For although there were things I loved about the LDS church, I never did feel as if I really "fit in." Theirs, meaning the Mormons, is a CULTURE as much as it is a religion. And it is all-consuming; it is a lifestyle for them. I had been raised in a much more liberal, Protestant home and I missed the openness of my Presbyerian faith, which had been far more accepting, I feel, of others, whether they be gay or straight or a single parent, etc. Having said that, I do miss the people and MANY aspects of the LDS faith greatly. I know had I met someone and married them, I would have been a wonderful LDS mother! :) But when I joined (at age 27)- all the good guys have gone and are already married! All that to say- I still don't know if there's a "correct" religion or not...and I still constantly debate in my head on which church is the "right" one!??!
So here I am. still not knowing if I'm in the "right" relgiion, but loving God all the same. I'm in a committed relationship w/ an incredible man that has been there with me through thick and thin. So each night, I can only pray that I try to be a better person each day, my depression/anxiety lets up a little (with treatment, of course), that they find a cure for my mom's horrible disease (and secretly pray I don't have it!), that I love people, family friends, as much as I can here and now, and that my greatest wish and desire might somehow be realized, should God see that I am worth such a blessing. (My greatest wish is simply to be a healthy wife and mother someday.)