Are you allowing God to be the Father of your Life?

    Tuesday, June 25, 2013, 9:51 AM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

    I was just having a conversation with my sister about our separate relationships with God. The Holy Spirit placed a revelation on my heart that I am sharing in this blog entry.

    In the following scripture: 1Th_1:1 Paul, and Silvanus, and Timotheus, unto the church of the Thessalonians which is in God the Father and in the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ. I have placed emphasis on “God Our Father” because that is what God is to us our Father.

    I wonder if a lot of people have a difficult time grasping the concept of seeing God as their Father because they have not had the experience of having an earthly Father? When you think of a Father or Dad in the home he is the individual that is there to protect, love sternly not like a mother. A mother tends to be more emotional with her love and parenting, she will discipline you but it is nothing like a Dad. Many mothers will warn and scold their children with “Wait until your Dad comes home I am going to tell him what you did today.” When dad comes home the entire household changes, children will not do the things that they do with their mom when dad is present. A dad is the provider, according to the Word the man is suppose to work by the sweat of his brow and the woman is suppose to be the nurturer and cooks and cleans. But, I know in today’s society the woman is out working just as hard as the dad if there is a dad in the home. As we also know in this society today, the woman/mother is the main parent in most homes. The Dad is nowhere to be found.

    The dad is also the one you can go to with all of your problems and you know he is going to do his best to solve it. As a child if you are outside and someone picks on you, you come home and tell your parents and dad will go find out who has harmed his child. Young women when they go on their first date and they have a dad in the home; he sits the young man down and discusses with him what the rules are going to be to take his daughter out on a date and in some cases he is going to go through an extensive interview before even allowing him to take her on a date.

    Therefore, my point is this, if you have never had the experience of a Dad and his unconditional love for you. How can you understand or grasp the concept of trusting and depending on a God you cannot even see as your Father in heaven. If you have never had anyone in your life to have unconditional love for you, how can you fathom God will love you unconditionally. God will protect you; God will make a way out of no way when you have not had this as an experience here in the flesh.

    If you have never been a parent, how can you grasp the concept of unconditional love in the first place? Parents love their children unconditionally, your child stole something from the store, are you going to stop loving them? I have even seen on the news parents of an individual who has murdered someone, you never hear them say I hate my child, I disown my child. No, they still love that child they may be hurt and very disappointed in that child of theirs but they still love them. That is the way that God our Father loves us unconditionally and he knows us better than any person on the face of this planet.

    Personally, my dad was only in my life for short intervals, but the memories I do have of him, he was a provider, and he loved me and I know would protect me if I were in trouble. So, when I got saved, I understood the concept of God being my Father of all fathers in my life. I understand his unconditional love because I am a parent that has unconditional love for my children no matter what mistakes they make in life. I am there to mainly to minister them through their situations and encourage them to keep going. That is what God does with me, even at my lowest points in life my Father in Heaven loves me, comforts me and gives me the strength to press on.

    If you have never had an earthly father to be apart of your life; give God a try and allow him to be your Father. The wonderful thing about opening your heart and soul to God he will never leave you or forsake you and he loves you unconditionally.

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    My Journey My Challenge – Multiple Sclerosis Journal V

    Monday, June 17, 2013, 4:14 PM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

    (continued . . )

    I have heard it said when you are in the hospital you should rest. Resting in the hospital is unheard of. Even through the night one cannot rest because of the nurses coming in all night taking your blood pressure and temperature. I know they are doing their job, but after the day I had with Dr. Gupta and then being interviewed by administrative staff about the incident which had occurred earlier in the day with her visit.

    A month earlier, I had a conversation with my brother; we were discussing spirituality as usual. I am the type of person when I pray it is not necessarily just for me. I pray for the world, people I don't necessarily know. I know the Lord has me so I intercede for others. I have been like that for many years. So, because of all of the devastations and news that bombards us on a daily I was feeling overwhelmed with how evil people in the world are now toward one another. I stated to my brother I would much prefer to be with the Lord. We ended our conversation and time passed to the day in the hospital.

    Finally, I had dinner and it was time to rest, I had curled up under my covers in the bed and was sleeping so wonderfully. There was no pain, no numbness and nothing was bothering me at all, just blissful sleep. My cell phone kept ringing, I tried to ignore it and continue to sleep, but someone was determined to reach me. I thought to myself, I should have cut the ringer off.

    I answered the phone and it was my brother, he was crying, and it was a deep cry. He asked me to please wake up so I could hear what he had to say. Once awakened he was going on and on about me repenting. I kept asking him to repent about what. He said "Repent about what you said about being with the Lord, he is coming for you tonight." He continued "Sis please don't go, it's not time yet." I was awake now, and not too pleased about being awakened especially after resting so good. "What are you talking about and why are you crying?" He continued to repeat, "Sis please repent, you don't want to go now, please." I told him I was okay and I just wanted to go back to sleep.

    I hung up the phone and slumped back down into the bed and under my covers. Off to sleep I went. Yes, back into my blissful sleep state. Next, a nurse woke me up; she was adjusting the wires and nodes on my chest and legs they had placed earlier with a heart monitor. The nurse asked me to please sit up in my bed, and I asked her why? She explained she thought something was wrong with my heart monitor.

    After she left, I went back to sleep and covered my head. Blissful sleep again. Once again, I was awakened but this time it was the nurse with the head nurse. They were asking me to sit up in the bed. I was so groggy, and agitated by them disturbing me again and again. Then the room filled with more individuals, all around my bed. I asked what was going on. The head nurse explained as he was taking my vitals that they were concerned about my heart rate. Based on the monitors and the current reading, my heart rate had dropped to 19. I had no idea what that even meant.

    First, it was nitroglycerin, and then they checked my vitals again. More nitroglycerins and then checking my vitals. They continued to explain my heart rate was not getting any better. My head was pounding the pain was getting greater and greater. The nurse explained it was because of the nitroglycerin. My chest was beginning to hurt and the pain was radiating through my back and down my arm. My head felt like it was about to explode.

    Through the pain, I heard some code being called with my room number. It was about me, I was in a private room. Next, a woman rolled in the room with a big red cart. I recognized it from movies; it was what they call a Crash Cart. The woman approached the bed, my head rolled back from the pain, it was excruciating and I was having difficulty breathing. I wanted it all over, and just as that thought crossed my mind the woman with the cart was snatching off the patches and plugs from my chest and legs. She placed some large patches on my chest connected to her machine and a shock went through my body. Once again, another shock. My head was beyond feeling as if it was going to explode.

    I closed my eyes from the pain, the nurses were calling my name, I just wanted to escape my body. When I finally opened my eyes again, I was being rolled down a hall. I was surrounded by nurses and they were trying to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I dozed out, the bed shook; I was in an elevator, I dozed out. I was being picked up laid on a cold table; in a machine, comforting words. Head pounding, the machine was making a banging noise. Being picked up put back on my bed; were moving again. I have to urinate and really bad. Pain in my head, pain in my chest, my arm, my bladder. How can I escape this all?

    They were rolling me to a different room; I faintly asked where they were taking me. The nurse replied you are in ICU sweetheart. Once in my room and they had hooked up everything, I explained to them I really had to go to the bathroom. They put a bedpan under me, I felt like I let go of a river and it was a river. When the nurse returned, I was wet from head to toe. I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

    Nurses returned to my room, I explained to them what had happened. They put me in a chair and then changed my bed and bathed me and redressed me. However, I felt like I had to urinate again. How could that be I thought. The nurse was returning with another bedpan. I explained to her I do not think that would be big enough. Another nurse returned and said she was going to put in a catheter connected to a bag.

    Once it was in place the nurse explained to me how to relieve myself. Just too simply relax. I do not think 30 minutes had passed and the nurse returned to check on me and she ran out of the room. The bag was full. She returned to replace it. I asked her where was all of the fluid coming from? She explained when a person's blood pressure elevates and starts to come down there is a release of fluid. I was so weak and wanted answers but I was still in a lot of pain.

    My cell phone started ringing; I did not realize the nurses had transferred all of my belongings to my new room. It was my son; I explained to him everything which had happened. Before I could finish my conversation with him a woman entered my room along with a man. The man was a cardiologist, Dr. Nguyen, and the woman was from a company called Medatronics. They were discussing with me I needed a pacemaker. I had no idea what a pacemaker was and what was required to have one implanted. My phone rang it was my stepdaughter; my son had called her to tell her what was going on. She is a nurse and wanted full details. I was so weak, I gave my cell phone to the doctor and he discussed in details with my daughter my condition and the next steps they wanted to take to help me.

    I told the doctor I needed time to think about it; in reality I wanted time to research everything about my condition and having a pacemaker implanted. My son came to the hospital with my laptop, and my work phone. I contacted my job and explained I needed surgery and I had no idea when I would return to work. Next, my son and I researched my condition also what is required to have the surgery. Before I could finish my research the doctor returned, he said we needed to schedule my surgery as soon as possible. I could not take the chance of my heart stopping the next time completely.

    A dear friend of mine that is like my sister Lisa called me from Los Angeles, she stated I was heavy on her spirit. I explained everything to her; she prayed with me and told me she would call me later. After discussing everything with all of my children, I consented to the surgery. It was scheduled for 4:00 am the next morning.

    The epiphany from all of this was when the doctor explained to me it was a good thing I was in the hospital because if I had been at home, I would not be here to write this blog.

    (to be continued)

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    My Journey My Challenge – Multiple Sclerosis Journal IV

    Monday, June 17, 2013, 4:06 PM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

    (continued . . )

    Dr. Harney later awakened me from my drugged state of sleep. I utilized the button next to my right arm to raise my bed as well as myself into a sitting position; since my left arm and hand were useless at this point. He pulled his chair closer to the bed, he explained he wanted to draw a graph and discuss my condition.

    He began to explain to me he had spent the last hour or so with a doctor analyzing my MRI's and CAT scans from the past against my most recent tests. One of the first things caught my attention was he stated I had eight lesions on my brain. It was just a year ago; Dr. Gupta said I had five. I continued listening. He shared I had Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis.

    First, I was really having a difficult time accepting what he was saying. I know my body was in a bad state. I knew I could not make it to the bathroom without utilizing a wheelchair. I knew I could not with my brain tell my left leg and foot to walk normally. I could not remember something I had just read and so much more. However, trying to accept this diagnosis and the way he was explaining it to me was just overwhelming. I held it together, and being the person that I am, I just wanted him to be done and leave so I could research what MS was on my own and how I could have possibly contracted this disease.

    While lost in my own thoughts, I missed a great amount of what he was saying. I really wanted to hear everything he was saying. Therefore, I held back my tears, because I felt like I wanted to cry a river. I asked him if he did not mind starting all over again.

    This time I paid attention to the graph he had drawn and every word he spoke and took notes as well. He said, I had relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis. What that meant was I would have an exacerbation and then after being treated with steroids, I would feel better. During those times of feeling better the disease would be in remission. He continued explaining some of the lesions on my brain were old, so I have had the disease for many years but it had gone undiagnosed. Also, because of my age and receiving the diagnosis at this point, we would never get ahead of the disease with treatments. Our best bet would be to try to maintain the disease and symptoms and hope it would not progress too rapidly. The graph was showing how the disease progresses over a person's lifetime. Starting around the age of 20 and up to their 50's. Well, when we had this discussion, I was 52 years old.

    He was so patient and very informative. He said he recommended that I start a drug called Copaxone. I would have to sign up with a company called Shared Solutions to start receiving my medication. He continued to explain I would be visited by several different therapists and I would be in the hospital for a while and he was also recommending that I be moved from the current hospital to a Rehabilitation Hospital for physical therapy and occupational therapy. Then he was gone.

    I sat in the room, I would guess in shock, denial, frustrated, angry, every emotion one could possibly think of upon receiving this sort of diagnosis. Then the release, the tears began to flow. I asked the Lord "Why ME God? "Why?" I called my son; I wanted my laptop to begin doing research on the disease as well as the medication I would have to take. Number One – GIVING MYSELF A SHOT everyday was out of the question. I hate needles with a passion!

    As I waited for my son, the rest of my day was filled with visits from various types of therapist. There was a therapist assigned to assist me with learning how to use the walker. How to get out of bed and making it to the bathroom on my own instead of using the wheelchair. Next, there was a therapist to assist with my cognitive ability, she would read a paragraph and then ask me pointed questions regarding what she had read. One after the other paid me a visit.

    Finally, my son arrived with my laptop. I explained to him everything the doctor had said earlier, based on the graph and information he had left me with along with my notes. We sat together both trying to absorb his diagnosis. Next, it was time to inform my family what my diagnosis was and the fact I would be in the hospital for a while. I did not have an exact time frame at this point. I also contacted my employer via email on my work cell phone.

    The next day was a nightmare to say the least. It started in the early morning with a visit from my original neurologist, Dr. Gupta. The first thing she said to me was she did not agree with Dr. Harney's diagnosis. She stated I did not have MS. However, she arrived with the documentation for me to sign to start the process of having the Copaxone prescription filled. I was drugged from the pain I had been experiencing and I could not believe what she was saying. I was in a state of confusion. This man had sat and talked with me extensively the day before and he even shared how he had spent time with an X-Ray specialist and they had both agreed based on my MRI results over time that I had MS. I asked her nicely why did he say that and why did the X-Ray doctor agree with him if I did not have MS. Let me digress here, I did not want this diagnosis to be true trust me. However, at this point I was really questioning this doctor's diagnosis after going through so much with her over the past year. She was rude, and abrasive. One would think a patient receive this sort of diagnosis and being in my current condition, I really wanted facts and information. Not to be talked down to or dealing with a doctor being rude.

    Dr. Gupta raised her voice at me and said "Look I am doing you a favor by even being here this morning, I have other patients I need to attend too; I am supposed to be at my office, but I took time out of my schedule to come here and see you." Furthermore, she continued, "I am the doctor here; do you have a degree in medicine?" I looked at her with tears streaming down my face and asked her "Why are you raising your voice?" I continued "Why are you talking to me like that, what kind of bedside manner is this coming from a doctor toward a patient going through what I am dealing with right now?" She continued with her voice raised, "I don't have to answer to you, now here are the papers that Dr. Harney wanted you to have you can do what you want with them." She left, I sat there thinking "Oh my God what kind of doctor is this person."

    One of my nurses entered the room after her departure, she found me sitting up in bed crying. She asked what was going on, I explained in full detail to her what I had just experienced with Dr. Gupta. She left but later returned with the head nurse and ask that I explain everything to her. The head nurse shared with me, they had received several complaints regarding Dr. Gupta in the past. That is when I decided I no longer wanted her to be my doctor. I requested the nurses inform her I did not want any further visits from her. It was just too upsetting and I had spent over a year dealing with this doctor who did not seem to know what she was doing. Yes, I fired her as my doctor while in the hospital.

    Later that afternoon, my son from California called me to see what was going on. He stated Dr. Gupta had called him directly and explained to him I was depressed and also dealing with anxiety with my diagnosis of MS and maybe he should speak with me. I could not believe my ears. This is the woman earlier that morning who stated I did not have MS, however she called my son expressing I was having a difficult time accepting my diagnosis. Also, I forgot to mention she prescribed an anti-depressant for me. When the nurse arrived with the medication as I always do, I inquired as to what the medication she wanted me to take and what was it used for. That is when we had the discussion about my conversation with Dr. Gupta. I refused the anti-depressant. I did not need it!

    (to be continued)

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    Adam & Eve Theory – Mr. or Mrs. Right

    Thursday, May 30, 2013, 8:11 PM [General]

    by Jewel Tyler

    Whether you are a Christian or not I would like you to consider my Adam and Eve theory.  First, as the story goes, God made Adam and found it was not good for Adam to be alone; he placed a deep sleep upon him, took from him a single rib and created Eve.  It also states in the Bible God says he knew us from the womb.  Take a closer look at this philosophy, and see if it can make common sense to you.

    If God knew you from the womb, he already predestined your future.  For every Eve (woman), which is created there is the perfect Adam (man), created for her or vice versa.  The perfect fit, same ambitions, interests and dislikes total compatibility on one accord spiritually.  Someone you can converse with on any subject matter, someone who can satisfy your every need even sexually.  If you would like to have children, someone who can be a perfect father for your children you bear.  (Alternatively, children you already have given birth too!)  CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!  Yes, I truly believe this theory.

    If God knew you from the womb, when he created you, he already had in mind who would be your perfect mate.  However, as life goes, when you reach the age to date; some women have a tendency to go after the FINE guys, or the someone which has something materialistically. Especially today younger women and even older want a “THUG”; guys that will call them out of their name and even smack them around. There are groups of women who go after males they actually have nothing in common with; but really believe if they can hang in the relationship things will get better.  If, they just give it a little more time and effort, he will change or they feel they have the ability to change him themselves.

    Girlfriend! You cannot play the role of God; there is no human being on earth who can make, shape, form, let alone fashion or change another human being.  If, that were the case we could create, shape and mold the perfect child or situation for our life.  Only the grace of God has that power.  Give up on this theory. The whole idea of “I will give this a little more time, because I know I can change him.” or “I know I can make him stop using profanity, I know I can stop him from drinking, or using drugs, or playing video games all day or going to the strip club every weekend.”  “I can stop him from seeing other women, or hanging with his buddies more than he does me and the kids.”  Or, on the other hand, “It’s just me, I don’t know what to say out of my mouth.” “That is why he keeps busting me upside my head, he loves me, but he has problems and I’m not helping.” This is the classic one to me “If I call enough of the OTHER WOMEN and let them know I am his woman, they as well as he will get the picture and he will be with only me.”  If you have to call another woman to state who you are, and what role you play in the relationship, HE IS NOT YOUR MAN! 

    No woman should have to compromise, nor subject herself to calling numbers found in a man’s cell phone; after you know he was not with you the night before.  If he were very satisfied with you in the first place, he would not have the numbers in his phone or the lipstick on his collar, let alone come home with some sort of venereal disease. 

    You find you cannot communicate with him, he disrespects you, and he may even be the type who will have another relationship in a heartbeat; as well as maintaining his relationship with you.  Is that what you are really looking for in a relationship? 

    You may find in the beginning he was a hard worker, had practically all of the qualifications you thought you were looking for, and BAMN you find out there are missing links or components you desire of him.  You may even find yourself interested in finding another man to date.  On the other hand, you go so far as to becoming involved with another individual while you are maintaining your relationship with this person.  Then you begin to do a comparative analysis.  Well guy number one has at least five of the qualities I am looking for in a man, and guy number two has the other five qualities I require.  Then you become discouraged, even feeling guilty, because in actuality you really want to just simply find Mr. Right!  A person who has all 10 qualities or at least 9, which is a lot more workable than the five you have been dealing with for the past three years, etc.

    WAKE UP GIRLFRIEND!  I know the saying goes opposites attract, but does it have to be so?  Do you really have to subject yourself to all the BS?  No, I do not think so; all it takes is some faith and a little more patience.  Then again, Mr. Right might be sitting right under your nose. . . .   A male best friend you have had for years which may have been secretly in love with you all along.  Someone you always run to and cry on his shoulder about all of your problems about the males you have been dating.  Oh, by the way have you noticed I used the word MALE and not MAN, we will discuss that later.

    Now back to the Adam and Eve philosophy.  If we would have a little patience and faith and not subject ourselves to the first FINE male that comes along, he is the sex machine of the decade, or the guy who has the nice car, or job, he just simply seems to have it going on.  You might be open to receive who was originally made for you. I’m not saying he would not have all of these qualities.  There is a perfect partner awaiting you, but patience and perseverance is necessary in selecting or being selected by your perfect mate.  You have to ask yourself “are you ready if Mr. Right were to step in your life today?”

    (to be continued)

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    My Journey My Challenge – Multiple Sclerosis Journal III

    Tuesday, May 28, 2013, 7:30 PM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

    I used to believe I was an individual who was in control of my destiny.  This was before I was saved and then I realized I was not in control of my life or my destiny.  I also came to realize even though we make plans on the direction in which we would like for our life to head; it has a way of going a different path.

    One can eat healthy, exercise, meditate, rest properly and live a stress free life; and out of nowhere knocked down with an illness.  I have studied naturopathy (natural alternative healing methodologies); I am currently pursuing a Doctor of Naturopathy degree.  I have been a vegetarian, a vegan, a yoga student, a power walker, an individual that swam laps on a daily basis.  I have lived a predominately-happy life.  I have always had low blood pressure, diabetes free.  My annual physicals my doctor would state my heart rate was that of an athlete.  I had not suffered with no major illnesses in my life.

    However, I have not had total perfect health; I do not think anyone can honestly say they have.  I have had difficult pregnancies, which required total bed rest after my fourth month.  I suffered with various female issues (ovarian cysts and fibroid tumors) as well as endometriosis that resulted in a total hysterectomy in 1992.  After that, no health issues with the exception of migraine headaches, which I contributed to my hormone replacement therapy.

    However, for many years, I continued to have episodes (that is what I used to call them) which caused numbness and tingling in my extremities.  Also, extreme fatigue and in some cases strange pain in my legs.  In the early 90’s my internal medicine doctor diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue syndrome. I remember one spring as a teenager; I could not walk for a week.  My mother contributed it to the fact I had gone swimming too soon and maybe had cold in my muscles.  The interesting fact is over the years these crazy episodes continued to occur every few years with no explanation.  I would end up in the hospital with no real diagnosis and then sent home again.

    When I finally reached the age where my children are adults starting their own family and I can begin to travel the world as I had always dreamed my body took a turn.  A turn that has practically rendered me unable to barely leave my home for a long period of time, let alone travel abroad.

    Labor Day weekend of 2011, my son rushed me to the hospital I was unable to walk and had lost use of my left arm.  I was experiencing issues with my short-term memory as well once again.  Once I arrived in the emergency room, I was immediately rushed to have an MRI.  When I was returned to the emergency room, I was informed I would be admitted to the hospital and was administered once again Solu Medrol intravenously.  The physician on duty informed me he had spoken with my neurologist Dr. Gupta, I had mentioned in my previous blog she had diagnosed me with mini strokes and being prone to seizures.

    I felt helpless, lost, confused and depression started attacking me.  I could not figure out what could be going on with my body.  Based on my test results from the past year and especially my results from the spinal tap, I did not have MS.  The next day in my private room, I awakened to the fact I could not walk let alone utilize my entire left arm. I attempted to get out of bed to go to the rest room and realized I barely had the ability to sit up on my own. It was as if I had awakened to a nightmare.  I rang for a nurse and she assisted me to the bathroom via a wheelchair.  I felt humiliated. 

    Once, I returned to my bed, there was a male doctor waiting for me (Dr. J. Harney).  He was a neurologist and the doctor on call for the hospital from his office; he explained to me Dr. Gupta was his partner.  He performed a neurological examination and explained to me he wanted to examine my past and current MRI’s; he would be back to discuss his findings.  The trip to the bathroom left me in excruciating pain.  I was given morphine via my IV and off to sleep I went.

     

    (to be continued)

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    MY JOURNEY MY CHALLENGE – MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS JOURNAL II

    Saturday, May 25, 2013, 12:43 PM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

    As time continued to pass and my health was not improving, I decided to seek out a different neurologist. In the end, this was a complete waste of time. I ended up having to go through the same tests, EEG and the other tests I mentioned in my previous blog entry. Same results, I was having health issues because of migraines was the final diagnosis. Therefore, I decided to accept the diagnosis I had received from both neurologists. However, continued to not feel 100% like me!

    The original neurologist assistant contacted me because I had not kept my follow-up appointment. I explained to her how I had been feeling and since the doctor stated my health issues were, only due to migraines or possible mini strokes I had opted to just deal with my symptoms. Not even an hour later the doctor called me herself, stating she really wanted me to have the spinal tap done before she provided a final diagnosis. This time, I agreed and scheduled the procedure; it was performed in a hospital.

    I had the procedure done and scheduled the allocated time off from work suggested by the doctor. The first day I returned to work, I was sitting at my desk and I began to experience a headache unlike any headache I have ever had in my life. I recall one of the issues one could experience was a very bad headache that would go away if I were to lie down. That is exactly what I did, I lay on the floor next to my desk and the pain went away. One of my co-workers saw me lying on the floor and I explained to her what I was experiencing. Before I knew it co-workers asking 100 questions at once surrounded me. “Do you want us to call an ambulance, do you feel like you are going to pass out if you sit up, can you sit up, what can I do to help?” I once again attempted to sit up on the floor and the excruciating pain returned. I explained to my co-workers I did not want them to call an ambulance. And one of my co-workers Ms. B., that I considered a friend came to my desk, when she asked what I wanted to do, I asked if she would drive me to the hospital in my car. She agreed and retrieved my car. It was a scene I must say, approximately five of my female co-workers assisted me downstairs to my car and off to the hospital we went.

    Once we arrived I was informed I needed to have a blood clot block placed in my spine because the hole in my spine where they had taken the fluid for the spinal tap was leaking. I was so nervous about them going back into my spine and also having the procedure performed in the emergency room. My reluctance of allowing the doctors to penetrate my spine in the emergency room was due to my sister’s experience. She had a spinal tap done in an emergency room and they severed her L5 and L4 nerves in her spine, which rendered her partially paralyzed. However, I was in so much pain, I conceited and allowed them to perform the procedure but only under heavy drugs. I was knocked out during the whole procedure only to awake to find blood everywhere. My friend who was with me stated during the procedure when they were first taking my blood to put into my spine I was fighting them even though I was under the influence of drugs.

    I returned home and laid flat on my back for almost a week. I only would rise to utilize the rest room and take care of my personal needs. I finally returned to work and was contacted by the neurologist, she stated based on my results of the spinal tap there was no way I could have MS because I did not have a high count of certain proteins.

    So there you have it, back to square one.

    Labor day weekend, I was feeling pretty good, and decided to rearrange my living room and have lunch with my son. We had been joking around most of the day and it was the first time he introduced the LMFAO video and their new dance “The Shuffle”. I had a ball learning how to do the dance and made my son roll in laughter all at the same time. As the afternoon approached, I once again started to feel extremely fatigued. I was so exhausted; I could not even prepare our lunch so we decided to order out. Once the food arrived all I could do was lay on my sofa, this is where I also ate my lunch. I finally sat up to go to the restroom and that is when I realized I could not move my left leg at all. I called for my son to assist me with getting to the restroom down the hall. When I emerged from the rest room, my son was standing there with my car keys in hand. He said, “Mom I think we need to go to the emergency room.” I agreed.

    (to be continued)

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    My Journey My Challenge – Multiple Sclerosis Journal entry one

    Wednesday, May 22, 2013, 6:01 PM [General]

    by Jewel Tyler

    I do apologize to my followers, I know I have not published a blog in a very long time. Between writing my book and my physical battles I have been unable to write my blogs. I will be sharing my journey finally! I welcome all comments and prayers!

    Two years ago, I was faced with receiving the most difficult news in my life. As I lay in the hospital trying to remember my telephone number, address and things that come to mind naturally. A female doctor walked into the emergency area where I lay with IV’s connected to my hand that had no feeling. My spine felt like it was on fire. My left leg was useless. She asked, “Has anyone ever checked you for Multiple Sclerosis?”

    My first response was “what is Multiple Sclerosis?” My second response was “of course not.” I was then whisked away to the X-ray area and before I knew it I was in a MRI machine. When I returned to my area in the emergency room, I was given Morphine for the pain and told we had to wait for my test results.

    As the morphine burned it’s way through my body, my mind attempted to race with the idea of what could possibly be going on with my body. Of course, my first natural response was to pray about it all. I had a friend with me in emergency along with her son and the pain had not subsided even after the dose of morphine. I tried to relax as best I could, but I continued to not accept the doctor’s prognosis.

    The doctor later returned to inform me that they had found lesions on my brain – five to be exact. She said I needed to have a spinal tap done and I absolutely refused to have that procedure done in the emergency room. I was told I was going to be admitted and also administered Solu Medrol via my IV. I was later taken to my room, settled in and the nurse started the medication.

    I remained in the hospital for another two days and upon my discharge the doctor who provided the Multiple Sclerosis (MS) prognosis asked that I follow up with her, after being discharged. She also stated that I could have possibly had five mini strokes that went untreated but there were tests required to confirm what was really going on with my body.

    I returned home, rested for a couple of days and returned to work and continued life as usual. I never called the doctor nor followed up with anyone.

    Not even three months later, I began to notice I was experiencing extreme fatigue. I live in Dallas, TX and the spring was approaching. Anyone from Dallas knows there are only two seasons (Winter and Summer). The heat for some reason caused me to experience extreme fatigue. Fatigue unlike anything I have ever endured in my life. I parked three downtown city blocks from my office where I worked. And I recalled talking to my mother as I was walking to my car in the sun and the heat. It took me 20 minutes to walk three blocks I had to keep stopping to simply rest. By the time, I finally reached my car I was exhausted to no degree. This repeated every afternoon. I finally decided to spend the extra cash and park in the covered parking garage. This helped some but by the time I sat in my car it was burning up and I felt like I would pass out.

    I finally conceited and decided to contact the neurologist I had met at the hospital and schedule an appointment. It was six months after my hospitalization when I initially met her. When I arrived for my appointment, we discussed the extreme fatigue I was experiencing and the numbness in my fingers, hands, left leg and foot. She sort of brushed over those symptoms and continued to focus on the “mini stroke” diagnosis. We discussed as a young teenager I experienced complex partial seizures and the majority of my adult life I had experienced migraines inclusive of “cluster migraines.” She informed me that one can get brain lesions from migraines as well. So, our next steps were extensive tests primarily focused on the migraines as well as the mini strokes. I was fine with that!

    I had EEG’s blinking strobe light testing, I had to sit in front of a computer screen with a black and white swirling program. The diagnosis came back that I could be prone to seizures. No new news (smile). I had already explained to the doctor I had seizures as young girl.

    I spent so much money for follow-up visits and testing but I was not feeling any better. I had not had a seizure in years! I continued my visits with the doctor and continued to deteriorate health wise as well. This went on for a year. Finally, I believe I had enough of the run around I felt I was getting with this female doctor. So, I stopped going to see her. However, I continued to be very nervous about my health that seemed to not be improving at all!

    I did seem to have some relief when the fall started to approach, but to my surprise, once again, the numbness became overwhelming again and the fatigue! I had no idea where to turn or what to do. I took some time off from work and rested at home for a couple of days.

    Not realizing, I was about to experience the most frightful health experience ever.

    (to be continued).

    0 (0 Ratings)

    Power of the Tongue

    Sunday, March 13, 2011, 9:10 PM [General]

    In the midst of all the chaos that currently exists in our world currently, one must have continual hope, faith and belief in something beyond themselves.  Our desires, needs and wants stretch far beyond serendipity; but yet we desire, need and want any and everything we can fathom.  Our lusts of the flesh stretch far beyond the imagination of what man could have possibly expected 50 years ago.  We are overwhelmed by technology and toys and lusts of the flesh and chaos and devastation throughout the world.  The internet and television has opened a world of every lustful possibility that man could fathom.  We think it and it is available for the partaking.

     

    In the beginning God said and it was; he simply spoke it and life was created.  He did not just think it, meditate on it, wish and hope for it; he spoke it and it was and still is.  It is a wonderful place to be when you know without a shadow of doubt, that when you seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness that all things that are his will for us we receive.  We have to also realize even experiences and things that we should not have and we ask he will provide also; I believe that is why we have to be very careful what we desire and ask for because we will receive sometimes.  Even though it may turn out to be a painful and unpleasant experience in the end it brings us back onto his straight and narrow path of following his lead that we should have never veered from in the first place.

     

    We can either speak life into our or others lives or we can curse both.  The Word does states in Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” also, in the book of James 3:8 – 10:  . . . “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.”

     

    I have learned that everything that I want may not be what I need; or another way to look at it is everything I want/desire is not his permissible will for my life at the time.  Even if it is intended to be in my life it may not be the right time for it to be.  Patience and enjoying the joy and peace of God no matter what my circumstances may be at the time has come with much wisdom.  I gained the wisdom from the trials and tribulations he has brought me through unscarred.  It is by my faith and belief in him that he knows what is right for my life; because my life is no longer my own.  I surrendered it many years ago over to him. 

     

    Therefore, I try to be careful about the words that come out of my mouth and even if my flesh becomes dominant, I do know how to say Lord forgive me, and pray that his perfect will be done in my life.  I have been angered and hurt by others and have spoke out something negative against that individual and watched it come to past in their life.  I understand the power of what comes out of my mouth because I am a child of God.  Just as I could curse someone, I can also bless them and I personally choose to bless them. I believe that is why the Word says we should be slow to wrath and slow to anger.  Because it is during those times of anger that we are not calm in our thinking; it is during those situations that we/I really don’t take the time to consult the Lord fully before opening our mouth and soon regretting what we have said in the heat of an argument.  Words cannot be deleted or taken back once they have been released. 

     

    There is such a tremendous need for love right now in the world and in our own personal intimate circle of friends and family.  People are hurting, depressed, the world is in a state of chaos right now.  There is a spirit of confusion, pain and deceit running rampart throughout the world ravaging whomever it can. 

     

    We need to begin to speak life into our own personal situations and circumstances as well as for anyone that crosses our path as well as people we don’t even know.  We need to speak life into nations and the political officials who have the authority to make major decisions that can affect the entire world.  Above all we need to speak life into the churches of today because they are slowly dying and with it the loss of so many needy souls that hunger for more but they just simply cannot put their finger on it. 

     

    Instead of gossiping about our neighbor, coworkers, family members and friends, maybe we could at least try praying about whatever their situation is that God has allowed us to see and stand sure in knowing the victory is right around the corner or maybe even immediately.

     

    Instead of saying for instance, I sure hope I get that job, maybe try, Lord I pray that if it is within your will for my life, I claim that job in the name of Jesus.  Now if you don’t get the job, guess what there is a huge possibility that it is not within his will; keep it moving.  Don’t give up and feel as though God is not answering or hearing your prayers; he hears us all, but it is how we deal with what we ask for and the end result.  I know people that claim something and they may receive it and when it does not work out the way they believed it should have, they begin to question if they did something wrong.  Or I don’t understand, I know God blessed and gave this to me.  Did he really? Remember we have “FREE WILL,” and often go down or own path but not in the name of Jesus.  And there are consequences because of our decisions, statements and actions.

     

    I pray that we all can first recognize who we are in God and the power that comes with that relationship.  I believe if we really take a good look at how big and powerful our God is and his spirit that dwells within us we come to realize our situations and circumstances are really minute.  We cannot shudder at the events, devastations, lifestyles, strange occurrences and unveilings during this time because it is already written and foretold.  But what we can do is allow the Holy Spirit to utilize us a vessel fit for the Lords purpose to speak life and love into the lives of others that have no idea who our God really is!

     

    Peace and blessings!

    Jewel Tyler

    3.7 (1 Ratings)

    In my RIGHT mind – God is good!

    Tuesday, November 23, 2010, 8:25 PM [General]

     

    By Jewel Tyler

     

    I am sitting here this Tuesday afternoon enjoying my praise and worship music in my right mind in my home.  I say in my right mind because Friday of last week I was admitted to the hospital.  I had no idea what was going on with my flesh.  I could not even remember my phone number; tears streamed down my face as I began to realize I was losing the smallest things that I took for granted as everyday knowledge. A friend and Sister in Christ prayed over me and encouraged me everything was going to be okay.

     

    I had lost feeling down the left side of my body (my arm and my leg) I had shooting pains going down my spine; blood pressure spiking to very high levels.  Which is extremely rare for me, I have very low blood pressure.  Everything that occurred on Friday is sort of a blur to me.  But thanks be to God on Saturday!!!! I was able to get up out of that hospital bed.  I asked my nurse to please walk with me around my floor.  We did about four rounds around 3:00 am; and interestingly enough as we walked with IV in arm I began to tell her about the goodness of Jesus and my faith, and the fact I knew I was going to be alright in spite of what the MRI results said!

     

    I was discharged Saturday evening, the spirit of fear tried to overcome me after my discussion with the doctor that released me.  In the quiet of my bedroom, I began to ponder everything that had occurred the prescription drugs on my night stand, and I just felt confusion all around me; it was just a bit overwhelming.  I said a simple prayer and went to sleep.  In the middle of the night I heard my cell phone chirp announcing I had received a text message.  When I rose to check the message, I recalled before going to sleep I had responded to a very dear friend of mine and Sister in Christ’s message regarding the doctor’s results when I was discharged.

     

    When I read her text message I began to smile, and I rose up in my bed and began to thank the Lord continuously.  Here is our conversation via text: 

     

    My friend “Hey precious sister, I love you”  Psalm 103 – God has ransom me from death and heals all my diseases, I’m standing on this word from God knowing that both of us are healed, let’s talk in the morning”

     

      Small note my friend was just recently released from the hospital as well; she was battling blood clots in her lungs.    

     

    My response text “Okay sweetie, they said I had a mini stroke and the MRI showed I have had six already.” 

     

    My friend   “This is a Praise Report it confirms that you’ve had six victory reports already, that’s why there’s evidence of God promises to you, no weapon formed can prosper, Satan has to ask God for permission, it may form but!  It WON’T prosper”  I’m praising God with you!  As to his protection, I’m more encouraged than ever now!  Because of your victory!  Praise God!  THANK YOU JESUS!  Wow look at GOD~!”

     

    I rose up out of my bed praising and thanking the Lord!  What encouragement in the Lord, what victory I truly had over the results that showed up on the tests the doctors took! 

     

    I have been meditating on this all week as I recover from the whole ordeal and the drugs that were pumped into my system.  I have to think victoriously in spite of what my flesh may display first of all and secondly, I have to really absorb the fact that for every time oxygen and blood did not reach my brain properly God blessed that it was sufficient enough to not cause a major stroke that could have caused permanent damage and even then one can be healed!

     

    It was indeed an eye opener of putting certain things in my life in perspective and what is really important.  I have also taking an inventory of what should truly be top priorities in my life.  As I prayed last night, the Holy Spirit gave me 2 Timothy 4: 1-5:  I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;  Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.  For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;  And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.  But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.

     

     

    So I am sharing this testimony and experience with my readers because I welcome your feedback and comments!  If you were in my shoes; what would be your conclusion of this entire experience?  I would like to also add when I prayed and received 2 Timothy; I felt like God was really trying to get my attention for a reason; and I asked him what was it all about. . . .

     

    I also find it very interesting to experience this during the season of Thanksgiving!

     

    Be blessed and I look forward to your feedback!

    2.3 (1 Ratings)

    God is Love

    Saturday, November 13, 2010, 6:06 PM [General]

    By Jewel Tyler

     

    When I first learned about love it was the love of my parents.  Then  as I matured I thought I was experiencing the love of the opposite sex.  But with each of those experiences I endured heartache and pain in the end. As my life continued I learned of the love for my children; and that is when I began to learn about unconditional love.  Then I really began to question the concept of LOVE.

     

    I came to realize a few things first, if someone says they “fell in love with you” they can just as easily “fall out of love with you.”  I also realized that I loved differently.  No matter what a person did to me or what they may have said to offend or hurt me, I forgave them and continued to love them in spite of how they would treat me.  Now don’t get me wrong I have sense enough to distance myself from someone that I know means me no good.  But I found that I would still pray for them and cared about their well being.

     

    Over the years in conversing with so many people in  regards to the subject of love it generally falls under the category of personal intimate relationships.  I find it very interesting that it is a very rare occasion when someone talks about love they refer to God.  I guess that comes from the fact that people have to see, feel, touch to believe they are experiencing love.

     

    Love is so far beyond the concept of our carnal way of thinking and experiencing love.  When you really digest the fact that God said “he would never leave us nor forsake us” and he knows us better than any other human being could possibly ever know us.  Because we as humans  rarely totally reveal self even to our significant other or our parents or children.  But God knows all when it comes to us.  Our every thought and emotion.  And he loves us in spite of ourselves.  We as humans have no problem with despising or becoming vindictive when someone has hurt us or offended us or even lied to us or let us down.  That is not how God loves us!  He forgives us and continues to prune us from the inside out; to mold and shape us into the spiritual character that can fathom the concept of unconditional love.

     

    The marriage bond between two people is suppose to be likened unto our relationship with God.  That is why the Word of God says that we are the Bride and he is the Bridegroom.  I hate divorce!  And that is a strong term to use I know.  But can we actually divorce our self from God?  Never!  But couples are so quick to give up, walk away, move on to another individual not with one consideration at times of what true damage they have done to someone or an entire family that they once vowed and proclaimed that they would love “until death do them part.”  I had one person say that well the marriage died so therefore it is justified.  I think not.  I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.  But I cannot control another human being, I learned that the hard way!  Therefore, I am divorced, but it was not my choice, I fought, prayed, pleaded, but the papers arrived anyway.  And I was and am not bitter, I will love him until the day I die!

     

    Mankind expresses the opposite of love in so many facets, racism, homophobia through religiosity and so much more.  However, the truth is we are all human beings no matter the color of our skin or whom we chose to worship or believe in an in my opinion God loves us all.  People murdering one another, disrespecting one another, there is so much pain in the world today.  There is such a tremendous lack of acceptance of the Love of God or even realizing that God is Love. 

     

    People use the term so loosely not totally considering the words that are coming out of their mouth and truly not from their heart.  Because if they really allowed the love of God to fill them, they would indeed emanate the true love of God to everyone around them; and yes unconditionally.  I believe the death toll would decrease tremendously, divorce rates would halt and so much more if individuals really considered and pondered on the real meaning of Love.

     

    So on a personal intimate relationship or even if you meet a stranger try loving them from the inside out not the outside in!

     

    Be blessed and remember God is LOVE!

    3.7 (1 Ratings)

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