By Jewel Tyler

As time continued to pass and my health was not improving, I decided to seek out a different neurologist. In the end, this was a complete waste of time. I ended up having to go through the same tests, EEG and the other tests I mentioned in my previous blog entry. Same results, I was having health issues because of migraines was the final diagnosis. Therefore, I decided to accept the diagnosis I had received from both neurologists. However, continued to not feel 100% like me!

The original neurologist assistant contacted me because I had not kept my follow-up appointment. I explained to her how I had been feeling and since the doctor stated my health issues were, only due to migraines or possible mini strokes I had opted to just deal with my symptoms. Not even an hour later the doctor called me herself, stating she really wanted me to have the spinal tap done before she provided a final diagnosis. This time, I agreed and scheduled the procedure; it was performed in a hospital.

I had the procedure done and scheduled the allocated time off from work suggested by the doctor. The first day I returned to work, I was sitting at my desk and I began to experience a headache unlike any headache I have ever had in my life. I recall one of the issues one could experience was a very bad headache that would go away if I were to lie down. That is exactly what I did, I lay on the floor next to my desk and the pain went away. One of my co-workers saw me lying on the floor and I explained to her what I was experiencing. Before I knew it co-workers asking 100 questions at once surrounded me. “Do you want us to call an ambulance, do you feel like you are going to pass out if you sit up, can you sit up, what can I do to help?” I once again attempted to sit up on the floor and the excruciating pain returned. I explained to my co-workers I did not want them to call an ambulance. And one of my co-workers Ms. B., that I considered a friend came to my desk, when she asked what I wanted to do, I asked if she would drive me to the hospital in my car. She agreed and retrieved my car. It was a scene I must say, approximately five of my female co-workers assisted me downstairs to my car and off to the hospital we went.

Once we arrived I was informed I needed to have a blood clot block placed in my spine because the hole in my spine where they had taken the fluid for the spinal tap was leaking. I was so nervous about them going back into my spine and also having the procedure performed in the emergency room. My reluctance of allowing the doctors to penetrate my spine in the emergency room was due to my sister’s experience. She had a spinal tap done in an emergency room and they severed her L5 and L4 nerves in her spine, which rendered her partially paralyzed. However, I was in so much pain, I conceited and allowed them to perform the procedure but only under heavy drugs. I was knocked out during the whole procedure only to awake to find blood everywhere. My friend who was with me stated during the procedure when they were first taking my blood to put into my spine I was fighting them even though I was under the influence of drugs.

I returned home and laid flat on my back for almost a week. I only would rise to utilize the rest room and take care of my personal needs. I finally returned to work and was contacted by the neurologist, she stated based on my results of the spinal tap there was no way I could have MS because I did not have a high count of certain proteins.

So there you have it, back to square one.

Labor day weekend, I was feeling pretty good, and decided to rearrange my living room and have lunch with my son. We had been joking around most of the day and it was the first time he introduced the LMFAO video and their new dance “The Shuffle”. I had a ball learning how to do the dance and made my son roll in laughter all at the same time. As the afternoon approached, I once again started to feel extremely fatigued. I was so exhausted; I could not even prepare our lunch so we decided to order out. Once the food arrived all I could do was lay on my sofa, this is where I also ate my lunch. I finally sat up to go to the restroom and that is when I realized I could not move my left leg at all. I called for my son to assist me with getting to the restroom down the hall. When I emerged from the rest room, my son was standing there with my car keys in hand. He said, “Mom I think we need to go to the emergency room.” I agreed.

(to be continued)

by Jewel Tyler

I do apologize to my followers, I know I have not published a blog in a very long time. Between writing my book and my physical battles I have been unable to write my blogs. I will be sharing my journey finally! I welcome all comments and prayers!

Two years ago, I was faced with receiving the most difficult news in my life. As I lay in the hospital trying to remember my telephone number, address and things that come to mind naturally. A female doctor walked into the emergency area where I lay with IV’s connected to my hand that had no feeling. My spine felt like it was on fire. My left leg was useless. She asked, “Has anyone ever checked you for Multiple Sclerosis?”

My first response was “what is Multiple Sclerosis?” My second response was “of course not.” I was then whisked away to the X-ray area and before I knew it I was in a MRI machine. When I returned to my area in the emergency room, I was given Morphine for the pain and told we had to wait for my test results.

As the morphine burned it’s way through my body, my mind attempted to race with the idea of what could possibly be going on with my body. Of course, my first natural response was to pray about it all. I had a friend with me in emergency along with her son and the pain had not subsided even after the dose of morphine. I tried to relax as best I could, but I continued to not accept the doctor’s prognosis.

The doctor later returned to inform me that they had found lesions on my brain – five to be exact. She said I needed to have a spinal tap done and I absolutely refused to have that procedure done in the emergency room. I was told I was going to be admitted and also administered Solu Medrol via my IV. I was later taken to my room, settled in and the nurse started the medication.

I remained in the hospital for another two days and upon my discharge the doctor who provided the Multiple Sclerosis (MS) prognosis asked that I follow up with her, after being discharged. She also stated that I could have possibly had five mini strokes that went untreated but there were tests required to confirm what was really going on with my body.

I returned home, rested for a couple of days and returned to work and continued life as usual. I never called the doctor nor followed up with anyone.

Not even three months later, I began to notice I was experiencing extreme fatigue. I live in Dallas, TX and the spring was approaching. Anyone from Dallas knows there are only two seasons (Winter and Summer). The heat for some reason caused me to experience extreme fatigue. Fatigue unlike anything I have ever endured in my life. I parked three downtown city blocks from my office where I worked. And I recalled talking to my mother as I was walking to my car in the sun and the heat. It took me 20 minutes to walk three blocks I had to keep stopping to simply rest. By the time, I finally reached my car I was exhausted to no degree. This repeated every afternoon. I finally decided to spend the extra cash and park in the covered parking garage. This helped some but by the time I sat in my car it was burning up and I felt like I would pass out.

I finally conceited and decided to contact the neurologist I had met at the hospital and schedule an appointment. It was six months after my hospitalization when I initially met her. When I arrived for my appointment, we discussed the extreme fatigue I was experiencing and the numbness in my fingers, hands, left leg and foot. She sort of brushed over those symptoms and continued to focus on the “mini stroke” diagnosis. We discussed as a young teenager I experienced complex partial seizures and the majority of my adult life I had experienced migraines inclusive of “cluster migraines.” She informed me that one can get brain lesions from migraines as well. So, our next steps were extensive tests primarily focused on the migraines as well as the mini strokes. I was fine with that!

I had EEG’s blinking strobe light testing, I had to sit in front of a computer screen with a black and white swirling program. The diagnosis came back that I could be prone to seizures. No new news (smile). I had already explained to the doctor I had seizures as young girl.

I spent so much money for follow-up visits and testing but I was not feeling any better. I had not had a seizure in years! I continued my visits with the doctor and continued to deteriorate health wise as well. This went on for a year. Finally, I believe I had enough of the run around I felt I was getting with this female doctor. So, I stopped going to see her. However, I continued to be very nervous about my health that seemed to not be improving at all!

I did seem to have some relief when the fall started to approach, but to my surprise, once again, the numbness became overwhelming again and the fatigue! I had no idea where to turn or what to do. I took some time off from work and rested at home for a couple of days.

Not realizing, I was about to experience the most frightful health experience ever.

(to be continued).

In the midst of all the chaos that currently exists in our world currently, one must have continual hope, faith and belief in something beyond themselves.  Our desires, needs and wants stretch far beyond serendipity; but yet we desire, need and want any and everything we can fathom.  Our lusts of the flesh stretch far beyond the imagination of what man could have possibly expected 50 years ago.  We are overwhelmed by technology and toys and lusts of the flesh and chaos and devastation throughout the world.  The internet and television has opened a world of every lustful possibility that man could fathom.  We think it and it is available for the partaking.

In the beginning God said and it was; he simply spoke it and life was created.  He did not just think it, meditate on it, wish and hope for it; he spoke it and it was and still is.  It is a wonderful place to be when you know without a shadow of doubt, that when you seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness that all things that are his will for us we receive.  We have to also realize even experiences and things that we should not have and we ask he will provide also; I believe that is why we have to be very careful what we desire and ask for because we will receive sometimes.  Even though it may turn out to be a painful and unpleasant experience in the end it brings us back onto his straight and narrow path of following his lead that we should have never veered from in the first place.

We can either speak life into our or others lives or we can curse both.  The Word does states in Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” also, in the book of James 3:8 – 10:  . . . “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.”

I have learned that everything that I want may not be what I need; or another way to look at it is everything I want/desire is not his permissible will for my life at the time.  Even if it is intended to be in my life it may not be the right time for it to be.  Patience and enjoying the joy and peace of God no matter what my circumstances may be at the time has come with much wisdom.  I gained the wisdom from the trials and tribulations he has brought me through unscarred.  It is by my faith and belief in him that he knows what is right for my life; because my life is no longer my own.  I surrendered it many years ago over to him. 

Therefore, I try to be careful about the words that come out of my mouth and even if my flesh becomes dominant, I do know how to say Lord forgive me, and pray that his perfect will be done in my life.  I have been angered and hurt by others and have spoke out something negative against that individual and watched it come to past in their life.  I understand the power of what comes out of my mouth because I am a child of God.  Just as I could curse someone, I can also bless them and I personally choose to bless them. I believe that is why the Word says we should be slow to wrath and slow to anger.  Because it is during those times of anger that we are not calm in our thinking; it is during those situations that we/I really don’t take the time to consult the Lord fully before opening our mouth and soon regretting what we have said in the heat of an argument.  Words cannot be deleted or taken back once they have been released. 

There is such a tremendous need for love right now in the world and in our own personal intimate circle of friends and family.  People are hurting, depressed, the world is in a state of chaos right now.  There is a spirit of confusion, pain and deceit running rampart throughout the world ravaging whomever it can. 

We need to begin to speak life into our own personal situations and circumstances as well as for anyone that crosses our path as well as people we don’t even know.  We need to speak life into nations and the political officials who have the authority to make major decisions that can affect the entire world.  Above all we need to speak life into the churches of today because they are slowly dying and with it the loss of so many needy souls that hunger for more but they just simply cannot put their finger on it. 

Instead of gossiping about our neighbor, coworkers, family members and friends, maybe we could at least try praying about whatever their situation is that God has allowed us to see and stand sure in knowing the victory is right around the corner or maybe even immediately.

Instead of saying for instance, I sure hope I get that job, maybe try, Lord I pray that if it is within your will for my life, I claim that job in the name of Jesus.  Now if you don’t get the job, guess what there is a huge possibility that it is not within his will; keep it moving.  Don’t give up and feel as though God is not answering or hearing your prayers; he hears us all, but it is how we deal with what we ask for and the end result.  I know people that claim something and they may receive it and when it does not work out the way they believed it should have, they begin to question if they did something wrong.  Or I don’t understand, I know God blessed and gave this to me.  Did he really? Remember we have “FREE WILL,” and often go down or own path but not in the name of Jesus.  And there are consequences because of our decisions, statements and actions.

I pray that we all can first recognize who we are in God and the power that comes with that relationship.  I believe if we really take a good look at how big and powerful our God is and his spirit that dwells within us we come to realize our situations and circumstances are really minute.  We cannot shudder at the events, devastations, lifestyles, strange occurrences and unveilings during this time because it is already written and foretold.  But what we can do is allow the Holy Spirit to utilize us a vessel fit for the Lords purpose to speak life and love into the lives of others that have no idea who our God really is!

Peace and blessings!

Jewel Tyler

By Jewel Tyler

I am sitting here this Tuesday afternoon enjoying my praise and worship music in my right mind in my home.  I say in my right mind because Friday of last week I was admitted to the hospital.  I had no idea what was going on with my flesh.  I could not even remember my phone number; tears streamed down my face as I began to realize I was losing the smallest things that I took for granted as everyday knowledge. A friend and Sister in Christ prayed over me and encouraged me everything was going to be okay.

I had lost feeling down the left side of my body (my arm and my leg) I had shooting pains going down my spine; blood pressure spiking to very high levels.  Which is extremely rare for me, I have very low blood pressure.  Everything that occurred on Friday is sort of a blur to me.  But thanks be to God on Saturday!!!! I was able to get up out of that hospital bed.  I asked my nurse to please walk with me around my floor.  We did about four rounds around 3:00 am; and interestingly enough as we walked with IV in arm I began to tell her about the goodness of Jesus and my faith, and the fact I knew I was going to be alright in spite of what the MRI results said!

I was discharged Saturday evening, the spirit of fear tried to overcome me after my discussion with the doctor that released me.  In the quiet of my bedroom, I began to ponder everything that had occurred the prescription drugs on my night stand, and I just felt confusion all around me; it was just a bit overwhelming.  I said a simple prayer and went to sleep.  In the middle of the night I heard my cell phone chirp announcing I had received a text message.  When I rose to check the message, I recalled before going to sleep I had responded to a very dear friend of mine and Sister in Christ’s message regarding the doctor’s results when I was discharged.

When I read her text message I began to smile, and I rose up in my bed and began to thank the Lord continuously.  Here is our conversation via text: 

My friend “Hey precious sister, I love you”  Psalm 103 – God has ransom me from death and heals all my diseases, I’m standing on this word from God knowing that both of us are healed, let’s talk in the morning”

  Small note my friend was just recently released from the hospital as well; she was battling blood clots in her lungs.    

My response text “Okay sweetie, they said I had a mini stroke and the MRI showed I have had six already.” 

My friend   “This is a Praise Report it confirms that you’ve had six victory reports already, that’s why there’s evidence of God promises to you, no weapon formed can prosper, Satan has to ask God for permission, it may form but!  It WON’T prosper”  I’m praising God with you!  As to his protection, I’m more encouraged than ever now!  Because of your victory!  Praise God!  THANK YOU JESUS!  Wow look at GOD~!”

I rose up out of my bed praising and thanking the Lord!  What encouragement in the Lord, what victory I truly had over the results that showed up on the tests the doctors took! 

I have been meditating on this all week as I recover from the whole ordeal and the drugs that were pumped into my system.  I have to think victoriously in spite of what my flesh may display first of all and secondly, I have to really absorb the fact that for every time oxygen and blood did not reach my brain properly God blessed that it was sufficient enough to not cause a major stroke that could have caused permanent damage and even then one can be healed!

It was indeed an eye opener of putting certain things in my life in perspective and what is really important.  I have also taking an inventory of what should truly be top priorities in my life.  As I prayed last night, the Holy Spirit gave me 2 Timothy 4: 1-5:  I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;  Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.  For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;  And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.  But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.

So I am sharing this testimony and experience with my readers because I welcome your feedback and comments!  If you were in my shoes; what would be your conclusion of this entire experience?  I would like to also add when I prayed and received 2 Timothy; I felt like God was really trying to get my attention for a reason; and I asked him what was it all about. . . .

I also find it very interesting to experience this during the season of Thanksgiving!

Be blessed and I look forward to your feedback!

By Jewel Tyler

When I first learned about love it was the love of my parents.  Then  as I matured I thought I was experiencing the love of the opposite sex.  But with each of those experiences I endured heartache and pain in the end. As my life continued I learned of the love for my children; and that is when I began to learn about unconditional love.  Then I really began to question the concept of LOVE.

I came to realize a few things first, if someone says they “fell in love with you” they can just as easily “fall out of love with you.”  I also realized that I loved differently.  No matter what a person did to me or what they may have said to offend or hurt me, I forgave them and continued to love them in spite of how they would treat me.  Now don’t get me wrong I have sense enough to distance myself from someone that I know means me no good.  But I found that I would still pray for them and cared about their well being.

Over the years in conversing with so many people in  regards to the subject of love it generally falls under the category of personal intimate relationships.  I find it very interesting that it is a very rare occasion when someone talks about love they refer to God.  I guess that comes from the fact that people have to see, feel, touch to believe they are experiencing love.

Love is so far beyond the concept of our carnal way of thinking and experiencing love.  When you really digest the fact that God said “he would never leave us nor forsake us” and he knows us better than any other human being could possibly ever know us.  Because we as humans  rarely totally reveal self even to our significant other or our parents or children.  But God knows all when it comes to us.  Our every thought and emotion.  And he loves us in spite of ourselves.  We as humans have no problem with despising or becoming vindictive when someone has hurt us or offended us or even lied to us or let us down.  That is not how God loves us!  He forgives us and continues to prune us from the inside out; to mold and shape us into the spiritual character that can fathom the concept of unconditional love.

The marriage bond between two people is suppose to be likened unto our relationship with God.  That is why the Word of God says that we are the Bride and he is the Bridegroom.  I hate divorce!  And that is a strong term to use I know.  But can we actually divorce our self from God?  Never!  But couples are so quick to give up, walk away, move on to another individual not with one consideration at times of what true damage they have done to someone or an entire family that they once vowed and proclaimed that they would love “until death do them part.”  I had one person say that well the marriage died so therefore it is justified.  I think not.  I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.  But I cannot control another human being, I learned that the hard way!  Therefore, I am divorced, but it was not my choice, I fought, prayed, pleaded, but the papers arrived anyway.  And I was and am not bitter, I will love him until the day I die!

Mankind expresses the opposite of love in so many facets, racism, homophobia through religiosity and so much more.  However, the truth is we are all human beings no matter the color of our skin or whom we chose to worship or believe in an in my opinion God loves us all.  People murdering one another, disrespecting one another, there is so much pain in the world today.  There is such a tremendous lack of acceptance of the Love of God or even realizing that God is Love. 

People use the term so loosely not totally considering the words that are coming out of their mouth and truly not from their heart.  Because if they really allowed the love of God to fill them, they would indeed emanate the true love of God to everyone around them; and yes unconditionally.  I believe the death toll would decrease tremendously, divorce rates would halt and so much more if individuals really considered and pondered on the real meaning of Love.

So on a personal intimate relationship or even if you meet a stranger try loving them from the inside out not the outside in!

Be blessed and remember God is LOVE!

By Jewel Tyler

Have you ever heard "Life and Death is in the power of the tongue?" This can be translated as you can give life to a thought once you speak it or the opposite; curse yourself or someone.  For instance, you think in your mind, "Around this time of the year it never fails, I get a cold." Then you speak it, have you ever noticed not long after that a cold surfaces in your body. Be very careful about what you think and especially what you say. 

When you think positive and healthy thoughts the result will outweigh entertaining negative thoughts. Negative thoughts and especially maintaining a negative outlook as well as surrounding yourself with and entertaining negative people will never equal positive results. Entertaining negativity over a prolonged period of time can result in anxiety, depression and stress. This then results in an unhealthy you! Not only will you be affected; but this sort of behavior and thought pattern will affect others around you. For instance, your spouse or significant other, children or co-workers; or anyone that crosses your path.

Some people that suffer with a negative view of themselves (low-self esteem) have a very difficult time with sharing or expressing love. The bible states that God is love and in order for God's presence to dwell within you, love must reside. When God's love resides within you then you are capable of sharing unconditional love.  Sharing unconditional love does not constitute judging another person; it enables you to have the capability to forgive a person when they have wronged you, and not desiring to seek revenge.

Unconditional love is what most parents have for their children, in spite of how angry they may make you or if their actions causes you deep pain you still love them and do your best to help them along their way with life. This is especially true for parents that are raising teens. You see, when they are small children you can say "time out " or "go to your room", or "I don't want you to be with Johnny or Susie because they are a bad influence on you." When they become teens they begin to take on a mind of their own and they do or say things contrary to your teachings. And when they have reached that point in their life you have to continue to hang in there with them. If you find out they have tried drugs or they are pregnant or have made someone pregnant at the age of 15. The last thing they need during those times is for you to be judgmental and cruel or harsh. They need unconditional love and support. And in order for you to share that sort of love with them; you first must be thinking healthy and righteously yourself; and allowing the true love of God to flow freely through and from you.

In the midst of your stressful days, whether it is work, the children or even your significant other; I strongly believe that everyone must take some time out of their day just for them. Fit it in your schedule somehow. And when you take that time out, what do you do with it?

Have you ever tried any of the following for mental stability and peace for self?:

1. Meditation – lock yourself in a room, sit or lie down comfortably, close your eyes and every thought that comes to your mind release to God, bills, job, and children whatever it is be it negative or positive; until your mind is clear and then imagine yourself at a peaceful place. For some people that peaceful place can be sitting on a beach, it can be swinging in a swing, or on a boat with a fishing pole. But go there and let your mind be free.   This is also a way of what I call “letting go and letting God”.  As you surrender everything to the Lord, leave it at his throne of grace!  He said for you to cast all of your cares and all of your burdens upon him; they are not for you to bare; release everything to the Lord on a daily basis.  Now, I am not talking about repetitive prayer.  For an example,  (day one – Lord, I am just giving you the electric bill, the mortgage, my son and daughter save them Lord); (day two – Lord I am here once again giving you the electric bill, etc.)  You gave it to him yesterday he has it.  I look at it like this, you gave it to him yesterday, and when you left his throng you picked up a few items and took them back with you.  You figured you would help God out.  As a matter of fact, you probably sat up most of the night and early morning after going to bed tossing and turning thinking about the mortgage, and your bills and how you were going to pay them . . .   Take this meditation time to leave everything there LEAVE IT; and walk away with the shout of VICTORY and praise, because he has it and just begin to thank him in advance and every time whatever you have given to the Lord resurfaces; it is not meant to worry (worrying is a sin!) or start stressing over, it is time to say “Lord I thank you for taking care of the mortgage, the electric bill; Lord I thank you for the salvation of my son and daughter; proclaim the victory.  Now you are more of an open vessel to be used by the Lord, now you can hear the Lord as he speaks to you directly more clearly.  Your brain is no longer clogged up with the things that he said he would provide just because you are his child; and he loves you.

2. Aromatherapy bath - a lot of people think aromatherapy is simply various fragrances that you may burn in a candle or an air freshener.  On the contrary, essential oils used properly in aromatherapy blends are medicinal and therapeutic.  The items in your local grocery store in the candle/air freshener aisle are not REAL AROMATHERAPY PRODUCTS.  Real authentic aromatherapy products are made with pure essential oils and they can be very expensive.  But, I will be going more in depth with what aromatherapy truly is in another journal/blog and also on my forthcoming website.

But for today, I wanted to share one of my favorite recipes: (RELAXATION)  pour 1 cup of bath salts (preferably made with Dead Sea Salts and sodium bicarbonate – baking soda) the salts assist with the exfoliation of your skin and opening your pores so the essential oils can penetrate and perform their duties in combination with your own internal cells.  Once the bath water (as hot as you can stand it) is at the level you prefer (hopefully well above your naval when you sit in the water.  Add approximately 10-20 drops of pure lavender essential oil (important:  not lavender fragranced oils). Shut the bathroom door, close the shower curtains or shower door; immerse your body in the blend. Close your eyes, I even cut out the bathroom lights and light a candle and breathe deeply. If you have ever taken a hatha yoga class you will understand when I say breathe from your diaphragm and not with your mouth open.  Try this way of breathing while in the tub (if you have never taken a yoga class it will take some practice), inhale the air through your nostrils down your throat (mouth closed) into your lungs and diaphragm (fill them up with air and the essential oil of lavender). Then exhale through your throat(mouth closed) and out of your nostrils. Do this at least 10 times and sink down, down into the tub; perform the breathing technique repeatedly while lying in the water. An aromatherapy bath should last at the minimum 30 minutes. Cut on the hot water if needed to keep the bath comfortable. Essential oils work through your olfactory system as well for healing and relaxation. 

But a note of caution:  when you are done you will be extremely relaxed and ready for bed.  I have had clients that started cooking and decided to take their aromatherapy bath and then their plan was to have dinner afterward.  But, they fell asleep right there in the tub; and awoke to their smoke alarms.  So I vowed I would warn any and everyone that I pass this on to ensure you are ready for bed and have nothing else to do.

3. If you are home with small children, when the children take their nap; you need to put everything on hold and lie down and relax yourself, you don’t have to go to sleep, but just rest.  Sometimes we just have to turn the ringer off the phone and not answer the door. I am quite sure this day in time we all have an answering machine or caller id to return the call when you are done with your own personal time.

With a healthier you, and even more so a healthier thinking you, life can be a wonderful thing! And you can be a joy to be around.

By Jewel Tyler

Is it just me or lately does it seem like the spirit of depression, oppression, suppression and discouragement have become a dominant force in people’s lives today.  People are sharing stories of having no hope, wanting to give up, even to the point of suicide.  Parents killing their children and vice versa.  In China repeatedly there were men going into kindergarten classes butchering children.  Unemployment on the rise, people losing their homes, cars, life savings, and sometimes everything they have invested in stocks and bonds.

I find it interesting that drug abuse (including prescription drugs) and probably the sale of alcohol are at an all time high!  They appear to assist with a temporary fix of not dealing with one’s reality.  The younger generation is walking around like zombies high off of Hydroponics marijuana; no drive to make a difference in society they rather pound their fingers away on a Playstation or Xbox video game while feeding their brain music reeking of obscenities and sex.

I have actually tried my best to take a hiatus from the news and even websites that constantly feed the human race death, devastation, and gossip.  But as you know this day in time that can be difficult because even though you desire to shut down loved ones and friends will bring it to the forefront in conversation, email or on Facebook, Twitter etc.

It feels like to me and I don’t know about anyone else that we are in a complete state of chaos throughout the World not just America but the WORLD!.  Whenever I do entertain the news there are times I feel like I have jumped in a time machine and have gone back to the times of Genesis before God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah! (Genesis 13:13:  Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD.)  There is no true reverence for the LORD.  But man desires ultimate reverence and respect, even those that stand in pulpits and call themselves Reverends!  I personally feel the only individual that is worthy of me giving reverence to is God not man!  Based on the dictionary one of the definitions of reverence is as follows:  to regard or treat with reverence; venerate: One should reverence God and His laws.  Man will fall short always as long as we are in this flesh, there was only one perfect one that walked this earth and his name is JESUS. 

Years ago, the LORD gave me a very prophetic dream that I am not going to discuss in this excerpt; but the thing that resounded throughout the dream like a trumpet being blown in water (is the best way I can describe it) was “Death and Destruction are among my people saith the Lord”  “Many are called but few are CHOSEN”  “The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few” .  It took me almost 7 years to really get the first thing that God said to me - “Death and Destruction are among my people saith the Lord”.  You see for whatever reason I thought God was referring to the people of the World those that are lost that do not know him at all.  But that day 7 years later two words were screamed in my ear MY PEOPLE.  I recall I was on my way back to work from my lunch break and I could hear it resounding in my ear over and over again and then there it was MY PEOPLE rose above all of the other words.  It hit my heart like a ton of bricks, I sat down on the nearest bench in the middle of downtown D.C. and wept.  I could faintly hear passerby’s asking if I was okay.  I didn’t even care what they were saying to me.  I had missed this message accurately for years.  God was talking about those that are saved, and the work that needs to be done.  It took quite some time for me to get it together when returning to work and it was very difficult to even focus for the rest of the day.  I could not wait to get home alone so that I could kneel before him for to ask for forgiveness of assuming and even speaking forth inaccuracies of the message and then to ask “Lord what can I do moving forward.”  The Spirit spoke to me and said my people don’t know me; they do not have an intimate relationship with me, they will not allow me to truly fellowship with them and love them.”  Whew!

We see so many signs of devastation, natural disasters, wars and rumors of wars, climate changes, natural catastrophic disasters (not hundreds of people dying from them but hundreds of thousands of people) that are record breaking, murder, sexual abuse, perversion, one currency, homosexuality, vulgarity, hatred, deceit and this list could go on and on. 

But, now what is becoming more prevalent is the body of Christ regarded as falsehood, hypocrisy, molesters, lovers of money more than the people of God.  Super mega churches that do nothing for their communities or those that are less fortunate and in need of their prayers and assistance instead they get sexual molestation and immorality to name a few.  People come to church because they are spiritually wounded, sick, lost and feeling hopeless, seeking something or someone that can help them understand or take away the pain in their life.  But instead they encounter quite the opposite.  There are churches in existence that require your bank account information before you can become a member so they can take the tithes via direct withdrawal.  Pastors, ministers or preachers that will not step into a pulpit for less than $100,000.00.  “Theologians” that obtain their PhD in theology but have no clue what the spirit of God really is – they have never heard his voice not once!  It’s just an occupation like obtaining a degree in law or medicine; all based on theory and history.

Are we in the age of the Church of Laodicea?:  Revelation:  3:14-22 - To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:   These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

People pledging their life savings for a newer bigger synagogue after moving in their current facility five years ago.  If we are under the new covenant where does it say that I have to give 10% of my income and then Love Gifts, and Building Fund money and Pastor needs a new Car, Pastor needs a trip to Europe and you have never been to Europe yourself, you are driving a used vehicle and paying rent in a cramped apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I do not believe in giving, but I at least have to know that we are providing clothing to the homeless we have a kitchen or pantry to feed the hungry.  How about building a rooming house next to the current church for people that need it.  Teens being abused, battered women, members that have lost their jobs and are evicted; instead of building another million dollar synagogue how about Pastor putting in some serious time for the fancy car and house etc. and conducting maybe 4 sermons a Sunday if you have that many members?  I’m just thinking aloud here.  It is difficult this day in time to find a serious Church that believes in being there and supporting and providing for the less fortunate people in society.  If you are even a member of a church and you are down on your luck and you to go to the church for help, I have heard and even witnessed them pulling up their accounting software looking at how much tithes you have paid in to see if they even want to provide you with $100.00 of assistance.

When someone calls or crosses your path and asks you to please pray for them, when you get home do you really pray for them?  Or are you just praying for self?  Why not stop whatever you are doing right then and there and pray WITH them and FOR them.  There are so many broken hearted, and lost individuals in the world and sitting RIGHT IN THE SYNAGOGUES and HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS!  What is wrong people of God?  What is really going on?  Where is the unconditional love you should be sharing that you want God to grant your way?

Satan, Lucifer, Enemy whatever you refer to him as is having a destructive party with the body of Christ and in many churches and especially with the youth of today.  Do you know his attributes?  What are his gifts?  How can you begin to fight an enemy that you are unfamiliar with?

Where are the TRUE SOLDIERS OF GOD that will stand in the gap?  Are you a Private, Captain, Admiral in his army?  Or, better yet are you AWOL or MIA.  Are you a willing vessel to be used by God when he calls for your service; if and when he calls you to pray for a stranger you don’t even know, when he sends a homeless person across your path and asks if you could spare some change so they can buy a burger from McDonalds instead of eating moldy food from a trash can?  Will you stand in the gap Child of God when the WORLD makes a mockery and criticizes anyone that is a Christian?  Hollywood and comedians do it every day, and folk laugh and even retell the joke (it’s all in fun – RIGHT?)  But this is our Savior or even God Jehovah and his precious gift to mankind the Holy Spirit they are making a mockery of.  Where and when do we draw the line?  When you see someone that you know is under the influence of demonic spirits, do you run, grab your purse, lock your door or do you begin to pray for those spirits to leave that individual to release them?  Ephesians 6:12 states:  “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” 

When is the last time you fasted and prayed to draw nearer to God?  I cannot believe the people I have come across that FAST AND PRAY for materialistic things and money?  Cannot let go of their fleshly needs and desires for a 24 hour period let alone 8 to 12 hours.  My goodness Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights!  He pressed into prayer so deeply for US (you and me) until he was sweating blood!  If anyone has seen the Passion of Christ – come on now he was wounded for our transgressions bruised for our iniquities, and you cannot even commune with him on a spiritual level for one full day to sup at his spiritual table.  God is a spirit so when we fast we come before him in spirit – why on earth are you fasting for THINGS that will perish?  Your spirit is suppose to be destined for eternal life!

Everybody in Church singing and shouting they want Jesus to crack the sky?  I think folk better give that a second thought because if he does, is your lamp dressed and ready?  Or will you be the one trying to borrow oil from the Saints  that have their LIGHT/lamp filled? 

WE HAVE WORK TO DO PEOPLE OF GOD, SAINTS OF GOD.  Hear the call:  DEATH AND DESTRUCTION ARE AMONG MY PEOPLE:  Many are called, but few chosen – the Harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few.

Are we in the last days of time?  If so, what are you doing about the salvation of those lost in the World?

Each one teach one, then they can reach another.

By Jewel Tyler

I have been there before, I questioned why I had strayed so far away from the most wonderful experience I ever had in my life.  The more I fought with self in regards to reverting back to my old man and ways.  It became quite overwhelming for me, because it had reached the point I couldn’t sleep through the night, there were times, I truly felt like someone had grabbed my foot and jolted my body from sleep.  I would awake totally alert and looking around the room to see who had awakened me.  To only find the room empty and would lie awake for the rest of the morning.  But there was that part of me that would not allow me to bow down on my knees and pray. 

I realize now in retrospect that I had allowed the carnal (“flesh, emotional and my own free will”) to be the dominate factor in my life.  I had suppressed the spiritual aspect of who I was.  In other words, it was if I was actually vexing the Holy Spirit from communicating with me.  I know now that the guilty, shameful and lamented times during that period was actually the Holy Spirit convicting me of allowing my flesh to be so dominant.  I was a ‘rebellious house’.  I would have short conversations with God which were actually prayers, regarding forgiveness of using profanity, losing my temper, and my lustful thoughts and actions.  But that committed, intimate one on one with God I really didn’t feel I was worthy of anymore.  I believed I had really probably disappointed him with my rejection and especially my thoughts that became actions that were totally contrary to what I had studied in the Bible.  Yes, I still would read my Bible, but the devotion in my heart just was not there. 

You know it is a terrible thing to take yourself out of the will of God, the pain, anguish, bad decisions, wrong choices not only affect you, but those that are around you and especially those that love you.  It’s not just that we no longer follow the principles of what God has mandated for our lives, but we end up taking ourselves down paths and valleys that are simply diversions of what has already been predestined for our lives.  The Lord said he knew us from the womb in Isa 44:24  Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: "I am the LORD, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself, so therefore if we simply stay in constant communication with the Father through the Holy Spirit that dwells in us, he will direct our path unto righteousness and peace beyond understanding, and grant us unspeakable joy through his grace which is sufficient for all that receive with a willing heart and spirit.  But as it is, we are indeed spirits dwelling in a shell for only a short time.  But while we dwell here we are in constant battle with our flesh and the influences that the enemy suggests to our minds.  It is really just like the cartoons we have all seen with the bad angel on one shoulder and the good angel on the other whispering suggestive decisions and ideas in our ears. 

Because God granted us free will after the Garden of Eden decision that the father and mother of mankind made (Adam & Eve); our experience is what it is and will continue to be until the final battle has been fulfilled.  Our thoughts and choices have to be guarded and contemplated, weighed against the Word of God.  When we generally make rash and quick decisions or move based on spontaneity, we have not given the Holy Spirit the opportunity to lead and guide our path.  Understanding we are no longer our own once we surrender our lives to God and relinquish the old man and become born again a new creature in Christ Jesus as stated in, 1Pe 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, also, “my thoughts are not his thoughts, and my ways are not his ways, and I should not lean unto my own understanding”  Isa 55:8  For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.  When I am walking according to that principle, my life does not take such a toll of dissension and then and only then can I be a willing vessel used fully for his purpose alone.  But there has been so many times in this walk of 51 years that I have taken tangents that has lead me on diversions of unnecessary loss and pain.  But with each time I strayed I became stronger with my unification with God and gained wisdom and knowledge that blessed me to be a witness to a countless flock that continues to this day. 

Therefore, my brother or sister in Christ, it’s never too late to unify your relationship with God and come out of that “backslidden” state if you slip in that direction!  He said he would never leave us or forsake us, he loves us in spite of us not loving ourself.  Be blessed  - you see we are indeed Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience.

                By           Jewel Tyler

When I first think about loving myself, I ponder the thought of why I was created in the first place?. Am I truly fulfilling my purpose?

I am not referring to "loving thyself" in a manner or degree to the point of being a selfish or conceited individual. I am only speaking of a personal intimate introspection of self.  In dealing with the reality of self, I also questioned why was I created in the first place?  Consider this, it took one sperm cell of thousands that stood against all odds in the very beginning of the creation of your life. Did you know that a woman's egg gives an enzyme that kills sperm cells? So looking at my existence from that perspective, it is a miracle that I am even here in the first place. Now that I have realized the miracle of my existence, I pondered the thought of why am I here? What is my purpose, why was I created in the first place? I was put here for a reason; I have a purpose and a reason for existing.  Is it to be a doctor, a minister, an artist or a parent? I know whatever reason you are I were created, we were not created to hate or despise ourselves. To beat up on self or allow others to do so is just simply unacceptable. I know I am special no matter what another individual thinks, may say or feel about me.

There are people that are being physically and or mentally abused, but that should not dictate the tearing down of the strongholds of loving yourself. When you are in that type of situation you may think that other people have no idea of what you are going through. On the other hand, the sad thing is that there are people that do know what you are experiencing and offer no assistance, not even words of encouragement . Through all of the hurt, pain, physical and mental abuse I have had to endure in this walk of life; I have come to realize, no one, and I mean no one is going to love me like God can. I am not going to allow anyone to steal or attempt to disrupt my joy and inner peace. The physical abuse “Thank God”; did not kill me, my wounds healed over time and I had sense enough to know “you don't love me or care for me if you abuse me in any capacity. People that physically or mentally abuse others, cannot possibly fix their mouths to say - "I love you". Love is not about hurt or pain, even though we endure pain emotionally and sometimes physically when we love someone.

I made up my mind, I was going to fall all the way in love with self. In loving me, anyone outside of my personal circle that is the opposite of what love represents for me; I will not entertain! The inner peace I am developing within me is not going to be compromised. I may be stressed today; but there is always tomorrow I can work even harder at accepting the peace and love of God.  When I look in the mirror I am pleased with what I see and how I have grown to love unconditionally. For today, I will work on smiling instead of frowning or crying because of unhappiness or past emotional pain I have endured;. Just seeing the beauty of a butterfly or hearing a bird sing brings joy to my heart, it’s the little things in life that bring peace.

I am thankful for who I am and because I exist.  In spite of whatever my past has been I always have today and possibly tomorrow to enjoy a better day in finding another way to love my friends and family.

Now how about you? 

Let’s make this an open discussion; but be honest take a moment to reflect before answering the commentary questions below.

• What healthy positive thoughts have you contemplated today?  (Please share your opinion in the comments area)
• Have you told someone near and dear to you today that you love them and really mean it?  (Please share your opinion in the comments area)

Thinking positive and healthy thoughts will always outweigh entertaining negative thoughts.  Entertaining negative thoughts to a point it becomes the overwhelming dominant force of your mind talk can result in a degeneration of self; and the love that you could possibly express to everyone around you.  Let’s see;

• Low self esteem -  can it equal a very difficult time with sharing or expressing the most healthy way of thinking of self and loving others? (Please share your opinion in the comments area)
• ______________ - surrounding yourself with negative people and your thoughts are negative  (fill in the blank)
•  Entertaining negativity over a prolonged period of time can result in ____________, ____________ and __________. (fill in the blank)

With this sort of continued behavior of ignoring what really matters to you, eventually will result in an unhealthy you!  Not only will you be affected, but this sort of behavior and thought pattern will affect others around you.; your spouse or significant other, children or family.

The bible states that “God is LOVE” and in order for God’s presence to dwell within you love must reside.

Have you truly started or contemplated on more than one occasion the elimination of negativity and negative people in your life?(Please share your opinion in the comments area)

Try this at least an hour a day, over time increase the amount of time.

• Spend some quite time alone, it works even better if you were in an aromatherapy bath:

• • A good recipe – one of my favorites
    • (use pure essential oils:  9 to 10 drops Lavender; 8 drops of Tangerine
    • 1 cup of Dead Sea Salts -  This recipe is good for relaxation
    
    

For the full experience shut down from the grid of life  - no cell phones,  TV, work, children etc.).  Take some time to simply just LOVE on YOU for a change! 

An Excerpt from the forthcoming book “The Skin I’m In – Memoirs of an Intimate Spiritual Journey with God”

By  

After my son totaled my car in an accident, I was without a vehicle, he felt so horrible about it, but I told him I was going to be okay.  The car had been a gift in the first place, because my van’s engine had caught on fire one evening returning home from work and when my cousin found out he gave me an old Honda Accord so I could get back and forth to work.  At that time, I was working in Herndon, VA and I lived in Silver Spring, Maryland.  Where my job was located public transportation was not readily available to allow me to commute to and from work. 

Right after the car accident a friend of mine had called and I had explained to her what had just happened, I told her I had to go because I had to go into prayer about this situation.  I needed my job; my boss allowed me to work from home some days but not every day.  I immediately called the office and left him a voice mail message letting him know that I was going to work from home the next day and what had occurred with my car.  The next day, he called and said it would be a problem if I did not find some form of transportation to get to work, it was okay that I worked from home today but not on a continual basis.  That afternoon my girlfriend came by and said the Lord had put it on her heart to give me her truck.  She had two vehicles and one of them was a Ford Explorer.  She signed over the title and the next day I registered the vehicle, God had blessed, I was able to get to work. 

When I did not have to go into the office I spent most of my time on the road traveling to a different city in the U.S. to teach the company’s software to their clients. 

There was really only one problem with the truck the gas gauge did not work, therefore I never knew how much gas was actually in the truck.  On one of my trips, I had rushed to the airport, because I had overslept and almost missed my flight.  Once I was done with my trip and returned home and picked up my truck from the airport parking lot it was very early in the morning around 2:00 am.  After being gone for a week, I could not remember whether or not I had put gas in the truck before leaving town.  I looked at the gas station as I exited the airport parking lot but did not stop.  It was very cold, and I despise cold weather.  I figured I would make it home and then in the morning when I have to go out to do my shopping I would fill up the gas tank. 

I have always been a person that likes to take short cuts and back roads to get to my destinations.  On this particular night that is exactly what I did, I took the back roads to get home.  I turned on a very dark back road and the truck started stalling and finally died. Right in the middle of the road and there were no street lights, just woods all around me.  I got out of the truck and pushed it over to the side of the road so that I would not be sitting right in the middle of the street.

Earlier that day I had spoken to my brother Tony that was living with me, checking in to see how things were going at home and to let him know I would be coming home that evening and what time my flight would be landing.  He asked me to please call him when I pulled into the parking lot because he wanted to come downstairs to help me with my luggage and to walk with me from my truck to the apartment, because he said several women in our apartment complex and community and been attacked and raped that week, it had been all over the news. 

I checked my cell phone and I did not have many bars left of a signal or power.  I tried calling home over and over again, no answer.  I sat trying to figure out who I could call at that hour of the morning for help, no one!  I could not charge the cell phone because the truck had no power and it was getting colder and colder in the truck.  A car passed by and slowed down right beside my truck and then pulled off.  I called my mother who lived almost an hour and a half , away and told her what was going on, I explained to her I was not calling for her to get out of bed to try to come help me but if she could keep calling my house to try to reach my brother.  I didn’t know what he could really do at that time because he did not have a car or any money probably.  Once again the same car drove by and did the same thing slowed down and then drove off.  At this point, I guess I started panicking because all I could hear was my brother’s conversation earlier that day concerning the rapist.  Finally, my brother called my cell phone, I explained to him what was going on, he said my mother had reached him and he wanted to know what he could do to help, I asked him, to see if he could call for a cab to come get him and to come get me and see if we could together figure out what was going on with the truck.  But I knew in my heart it was out of gas.  He agreed and explained that he had caught the flu and had taken some Ny-Quill that is why he did not answer the phone he was asleep and he still did not sound too coherent.

At this point, I was freezing, I know the temperature had to be below zero with the wind chill factor and the wind was howling outside of the truck, the car returned once again and slowed up and drove off.  This time, I buttoned up my coat and put it over my head and began to breathe heavily into the coat to warm my body.  I started praying and I asked God to please protect me out here on this deserted road and to please send forth an Angel to help me.  As I ended my prayer, I heard a siren go off, when I peeked my head out of my coat there were two police cars.  I started praising God, the same car drove up again that had passed me by three times, and the window rolled down and it was an elderly black woman, she said “you gone be okay now baby, I know you freezing in that truck, I went home and called the police to come help you.  I kept driving by to make sure you were okay and still here until the police came.  God bless you honey.”  I thanked her and she drove off. 

An Asian officer approached the truck and asked me what was the problem, I explained to him that I thought I had probably ran out of gas and that my gas gauge was not functioning.  He asked what could he do to help, I asked if he could go and get me some gas, I had the money to pay for it.  He asked if I had a gas container and I said no, but I always have drank a lot of water and in the back seat of my car I had an empty gallon water jug I gave him that and asked if he could fill it up.  The other officer stayed parked next to my car but never offered me to get into the squad car with her to warm up, I didn’t care at this point, help had arrived that was the important factor.  I wrapped back up under my coat to warm myself awaiting the return of the officer.

Finally the officer arrived with the gas and my change but he told me I had to put the gas in my truck myself, he could not do it because if he spilled gas on my truck or something happened I could sue the police department.  I put the gas in my truck, and started the truck.  I thanked the officers and proceeded home.

When I turned the corner that lead to my apartment complex, I noticed a young man standing at the bus stop, with no coat on.  I thought to myself, oh my God sweetie, don’t you know that no buses run this time of morning and where is his coat?

I had been contemplating with myself if whether or not I was simply going to head home or stop and fill up my gas tank, because the gas station was right at the corner behind the bus stop where this gentleman was standing.

The Holy Spirit spoke ever so softly to me, fill up your gas tank now.  Well, I was not going to be disobedient; I pulled into the gas station and pulled up to the pump.  There was a line at the window of people paying for gas and other items.  I was startled by a young man asking if I had an extra coat or blanket in my car that I could give him, it was the young man from the bus stop. I could see that he had tear drops frozen on his face and mucous that had drained from his nose down on his lips that was frozen.  I told him “no I did not have a blanket or an extra coat,” but I explained to him that no buses ran this time of morning, and I asked “why are you standing at the bus stop?”  I paid for my gas and we continued to talk as we both proceeded to my truck, he started explaining to me that a police officer had come by earlier to put some gas in a water jug and he had asked him for help and he continued explaining his conversation with the officer “you know he had to have a blanket or something but he wouldn’t even stop to talk to me or help me.”  I shook my head and said “my Lord,” I explained to him that the police officer was helping me; I had ran out of gas and had been sitting in my truck freezing.  And it hit my Spirit like a ton of bricks, (but you at least had the shelter of your vehicle and a coat to cover you what does he have?). I asked him if he needed some money to catch a cab where he needed to go. He replied “I have nowhere to go, I was evicted today, I got laid off from my job and was not able to pay my rent for the past couple of months.”  Boy did I know how that felt I had just went through that and had lost my house, and then got my apartment and was laid off again, and finally got the job I was currently working on and almost lost my apartment in the process.  But God blessed me right on time every time.

I told him to get into my truck so he could warm up.  He offered to pump my gas, and I told him no, because he just had on a T-shirt and jeans in this freezing cold weather.  He got in the truck and I turned the heat up full blast, he was shivering so horribly, I took off my coat and covered his body and continued to pump my gas.  While I was outside pumping my gas, I was thinking Lord what do you want me to do, I know you had us to cross paths for a reason, it is not just a coincidence that this young man tried to seek assistance from the same officer that was helping me and we were both in the cold freezing, you blessed and helped me so how can I help him?  I got into the truck and as he was getting ready to give me my coat and get out of the truck I told him no, I have an idea.  I live up the street and I have an abandoned car if you like you can sleep in it I will get blankets for you.  (Okay, you know that was my flesh speaking not God).  So, I called my brother and asked him to come and meet me outside and bring every blanket he could find in my house outside with him.  I told him don’t even ask I will explain when I get there.  When I arrived my brother was standing outside of the building with a large pile of blankets, I explained to him what was going on and introduced him to the young man his name was Dewayne, he looked like he was in his early twenties.  He got in the car and covered up with all of the blankets.  My brother asked me to take him back to the gas station to get some juice to drink.  I did and when we were on our way back to the apartment, we didn’t say a word, and it was as if it hit us both at the same time.  We looked at each other and my brother said “Sis I am not going to sleep anytime soon, and I said “neither am I” “Let’s get him out of that car and into the house, this is crazy.”

When we arrived at the apartment and parked my truck and retrieved my luggage we stopped by the car and woke up Dewayne and gathered all of the blankets and told him to come into the house, it was just too cold for him to even sleep in the car.  He followed us into the apartment, he could not stop thanking us over and over.  Once inside the apartment, I made up the sofa for him to sleep on in my den.  My brother invited him into the kitchen and offered him some dinner, he refused and I encouraged him to eat, I told him my brother was an excellent cook and if he had not eaten anything all day, he really needed to eat and I also fixed some hot herbal tea for him to drink.  After awhile when the food started heating up, he stopped refusing and had dinner and drank a couple of cups of the hot tea.  He talked with my brother explaining to him about how the police officer had come and how it was just a coincidence it was the same officer helping me.  And how rare it is today for someone to come and help a person like we were doing for him, he broke down and began to cry telling us about how is father had abandoned him and all of the problems he had experienced in his life.  We comforted him and told him how God works, and there are good, God fearing people that just have unconditional love and compassion for all humans period.

I took my suitcase to my bedroom and started removing my clothing and separating what had to go to the cleaners and what I had to wash the next day.  Because I would be off again to another city Sunday afternoon.  I was interrupted by my brother; he came to tell me that he was going to walk Dewayne out to the car he was insisting that he needed to get his deodorant from my car that had fell out of his pocket.  I went into the living room and asked him why was it so urgent for him to get his deodorant, I told him “honey you need to get some rest,” he persisted that I offered him so much help and assistance he just did not feel right, he began to ramble, finally I told my brother take him to the car and gave him the keys.

After finishing with my clothing I returned to the living room and started watching the news channel on cable.  It dawned on me my brother had been gone for quite some time.  I looked out of my bedroom window which faces the parking lot; I did not see them by the car.  So, I returned to the living room, more time passed my brother and Dewayne had not returned, I started to become a bit concerned, but I knew in my heart my brother was fine.  As more time passed and finally my brother returned to the apartment, when he entered the living room, he had a perplexed look on his face.  I looked behind him, no Dewayne; I asked my brother, where was Dewayne and what on earth was wrong with him?  He just stood there like he was in shock, he said that he went to the car with Dewayne, opened the car for him.  My brother said he proceeded back to the apartment building because it was so cold outside, when he turned back around, Dewayne was nowhere to be found.  He walked back to the car no Dewayne.  The way the apartment complex was situated, my building was located at a dead end it was gated with a high fence and there was another apartment complex right next to ours as well.  He looked all over the parking lot, down the hill, no Dewayne.  He said “it was as if he vanished in thin air.”

We both just sat on the sofa silently trying to figure out what had just happened, then a scripture came to me, I retrieved my bible from my bedroom and my brother went to get his bible, the scripture was Matthew 25:35 - for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in.”  We both just sat there silent, I went to bed and I don’t think my brother nor I slept for the rest of the morning. 

The strangest thing was the next day when I went out to do my shopping and drove down the hill I did not see where anyone had been evicted, in the state of Maryland when an individual is evicted the Sheriff comes and they place your belonging on the street.  I guess I will never forget the visitor on that very cold morning, for quite some time; every time I drove past that gas station and that bus stop I could see Dewayne standing there that morning freezing.